So up until recently, I have been very fortunate to have an uneventful pregnancy. Sure, I felt sick as a dog for a while, and have other fun things that go with the package, but everything was going smoothly. Until last weekend.
On Saturday morning, I was walking through my living room when, (***TMI ALERT***) I suddenly felt very wet. I looked down and saw that I was wet even through my sweatpants. I reached down to check things out, so to speak, and found my hands covered in water. Then, it stopped and everything returned to normal. I felt fine. I wasn't in pain and didn't have any cramps, so I didn't think it was necessary to call the doctor. Bobby felt very different about that, so I ended up calling the answering service and talking to the doctor on call. He told me to go into labor and delivery right away to get checked out. So, we dressed and headed out to Hillcrest. I considered it a practice run and it really didn't take that long to get there. The worst part was getting to the hospital and finding it to be a warzone and no close parking. We'll have to take this into consideration when the real deal happens in the spring.
I L&D I got put in a crappy gown and hooked up to a fetal monitor. Luckily, it was evident right away that the baby was doing fine. It was bopping around like nothing was wrong and couldn't have cared less about what happened. This was good, but then came the exam. First, the on-call doctor from the practice I go to must have been busy, because they sent in a D.O. who looked totally disheveled and whom I am fairly certain just got woken up from a nap on a cot somewhere. He seemed sort of stoned, even (figuratively, not literally of course). He performed just about the most uncomfortable pelvic exam I have ever had. I am so used to my doctor just going in quickly and getting the job done in a pain free way. This guy jams in the speculum like it's nothing and then keeps walking away and leaving it in while he does other things. After what seemed like an eternity he finally finished. Bobby was a little shell-shocked from that experience, but I guess it is good practice for when all kinds of people will be checking things out down there during labor and delivery.
In the end, the stoney D.O. said that he didn't think it was amniotic fluid based upon his look under the microscope. And based upon other things they didn't think it was pre-term labor, but they sent off an fFN test to check things out.
All in all, it wasn't a bad experience since the results turned out ok. And we loved the nurse we had - I just hope she's there when the main even occurs!
After that stressful day, I thought I could relax, knowing that all I had to do was follow-up with my doctor this week. I went for my 1-hour glucose test Monday morning and put a call in to the office to get a follow-up appointment. The nurse called back to tell me that my fFN test was positive, which could indicate a risk of pre-term labor in the next few weeks. Obviously, this would not be good since the baby still has quite a few weeks to go. So, she set me up with an ultrasound and appointment in the afternoon.
After being nervous all day and hardly able to work, we got to have our ultrasound. We were very reassured to hear that that fluid level looks great and that my cervix is still "8 miles long" and shut tight. They also checked out the baby again so we got to have another look, which was fun. And we finally got our cute profile shot. In the end, I was instructed to take things easy, keep tabs on any symptoms or issues, and call right away with a problem. It was a big relief.
Then I got another call this morning from the nurse telling me that my glucose test results were in and I fell just 3 points above the "normal" cutoff line. The hits just keep in coming! So, I get to head back to the lab next Tuesday to do my 3-hour test. Hopefully, that will put an end to issues and get us back on the smooth sailing track.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
do i smell?
dont think im gross.
i cant tell if im just lazy, or if it is that im cold all the time and dont want to be colder, or if i am just so tired i cant get up the energy....
BUT-
I dont want to take a shower.
seriously. i just dont feel like it.
i make sure i dont smell- and i take a shower when i really need to. but most of the time, its more like every other day instead of every day.
i used to be the kind of person compulsive about showering- showering every morning for sure, and sometimes in the evening if i had a really "sick" day at work.
but now, i just dont understand it.
my friend vanessa told me yesterday that for sure it means im having a girl- since they say "girls take all your beauty".....she has a 50% chance of being right! who knows....
but i do promise, for now i'll try to shower a little more often.
i cant tell if im just lazy, or if it is that im cold all the time and dont want to be colder, or if i am just so tired i cant get up the energy....
BUT-
I dont want to take a shower.
seriously. i just dont feel like it.
i make sure i dont smell- and i take a shower when i really need to. but most of the time, its more like every other day instead of every day.
i used to be the kind of person compulsive about showering- showering every morning for sure, and sometimes in the evening if i had a really "sick" day at work.
but now, i just dont understand it.
my friend vanessa told me yesterday that for sure it means im having a girl- since they say "girls take all your beauty".....she has a 50% chance of being right! who knows....
but i do promise, for now i'll try to shower a little more often.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
6 Months Along ... Wait, That Means Only 4 Left
It's like I woke up today and realized that I have hardly any time left to get organized! We are on track with things - baby furniture ordered, registry started, looking into lamaze classes, pediatricians, and child care, but I still feel like I won't get things done on time. And my pregnancy brain is worse than ever, totally killing my normally stellar memory.
Things I have done recently:
1. Put a new container of ice cream in the fridge after shopping - and not discovering it until more than 24 hours later when I went in the freezer for ice cream and learned it was a puddle.
2. Printed out important estate planning documents rather than e-mailing them to the client, which I only discovered when the client asked me where the were several days later.
3. Talked to a client for several minutes about "her case" only to realize I was explaining something going on in a totally different case (the weirder part may be that the client didn't bother to interrupt me and tell me she had no idea what I was talking about)
I feel like I am forgetting everything, and at a really busy time of year when I am trying to settle 15 different cases, that is not good - at this time it is crucial to be able to keep things organized and straight.
I did just make a list of projects to accomplish at home after the first of the year - mostly all are nursery or baby-related. Hopefully by making a list I can remember to do them all. Too bad it doesn't mean they will magically get accomplished without me!
Things I have done recently:
1. Put a new container of ice cream in the fridge after shopping - and not discovering it until more than 24 hours later when I went in the freezer for ice cream and learned it was a puddle.
2. Printed out important estate planning documents rather than e-mailing them to the client, which I only discovered when the client asked me where the were several days later.
3. Talked to a client for several minutes about "her case" only to realize I was explaining something going on in a totally different case (the weirder part may be that the client didn't bother to interrupt me and tell me she had no idea what I was talking about)
I feel like I am forgetting everything, and at a really busy time of year when I am trying to settle 15 different cases, that is not good - at this time it is crucial to be able to keep things organized and straight.
I did just make a list of projects to accomplish at home after the first of the year - mostly all are nursery or baby-related. Hopefully by making a list I can remember to do them all. Too bad it doesn't mean they will magically get accomplished without me!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Virginia, There is a Santa Claus (or is there?)
Thank you 3rd Generation Working Mom for blogging inspiration! I'm getting a little nervous that I might be kicked out of the Baby Fever blog since I've been a delinquent poster. Anyway, here goes.....
'Is Santa Claus a lie?' I suppose that depends on what you consider a lie. I think of Santa Claus as a fib or little white lie, possibly even a secret (see below). I don't really remember believing in Santa Claus, although I'm positive I did at some point. I do, however remember my brother believing in Santa Claus and working out a deal with him once I could no longer keep the secret (here is where I consider it a secret) any longer...if we tell mom and dad you still believe in Santa, they will still buy us presents. So we went with it, for a really long time. In fact, so long that there came a time when my dad sat my brother down and told him Santa didn't exist, then the whole deal came out and my parents got a good laugh.
That being said, I'm not sure I'll shower my (fake) children with gifts from Santa. Yes, they'll get gifts, plenty of them of them from Mom and Dad for Christmas AND Hanukkah, but not from Santa or Hanukkah Harry. I remember thinking that the whole idea of Santa was so silly, of course one man can not fly all around the world in one night giving gifts to all the children while being led by reindeer. I would think, 'who believes that crap?'
When I was a teenager, my grandfather shared stories with me of his childhood Christmases. My grandfather was raised by strict Italian immigrant parents and many of his experiences were those of the old world. He explained to me that when he was a child, Christmas here in the US was very different from Christmas in Italy, where Santa did not exist. When my great grandparents came here they were horrified of the idea of 'telling their children lies' about a fictional man in a red suit. So my grandpa did not know Santa Claus, he got an orange (his own) and a box of chocolates that he had to share with each of his 4 siblings. These gifts were from his parents and they were much appreciated I am told. My favorite part of this is how my grandfather would talk about going to school, and the American children talking about Santa Claus. My grandpa thought they were silly and stupid and made fun of them! For some reason, this story made so much sense to me, and at that time I knew that if I were ever to have children, I would not invite Santa into my home.
Now, I realize this may change if I ever have my own children, I just don't see it happening though. Yes, I'll decorate a Christmas tree and buy presents and all that fun stuff. But why bring some strange man into it? Funny how three generations later, my (make believe) children will blow the whistle on Santa Claus, just as my grandfather did as a child of the 30's.
Disclaimer: I think it's perfectly acceptable for parents to share Santa Claus with their children and I am in no way discrediting this ritual. I'm just expressing my personal thoughts on the subject and realize that I am far from the norm.
'Is Santa Claus a lie?' I suppose that depends on what you consider a lie. I think of Santa Claus as a fib or little white lie, possibly even a secret (see below). I don't really remember believing in Santa Claus, although I'm positive I did at some point. I do, however remember my brother believing in Santa Claus and working out a deal with him once I could no longer keep the secret (here is where I consider it a secret) any longer...if we tell mom and dad you still believe in Santa, they will still buy us presents. So we went with it, for a really long time. In fact, so long that there came a time when my dad sat my brother down and told him Santa didn't exist, then the whole deal came out and my parents got a good laugh.
That being said, I'm not sure I'll shower my (fake) children with gifts from Santa. Yes, they'll get gifts, plenty of them of them from Mom and Dad for Christmas AND Hanukkah, but not from Santa or Hanukkah Harry. I remember thinking that the whole idea of Santa was so silly, of course one man can not fly all around the world in one night giving gifts to all the children while being led by reindeer. I would think, 'who believes that crap?'
When I was a teenager, my grandfather shared stories with me of his childhood Christmases. My grandfather was raised by strict Italian immigrant parents and many of his experiences were those of the old world. He explained to me that when he was a child, Christmas here in the US was very different from Christmas in Italy, where Santa did not exist. When my great grandparents came here they were horrified of the idea of 'telling their children lies' about a fictional man in a red suit. So my grandpa did not know Santa Claus, he got an orange (his own) and a box of chocolates that he had to share with each of his 4 siblings. These gifts were from his parents and they were much appreciated I am told. My favorite part of this is how my grandfather would talk about going to school, and the American children talking about Santa Claus. My grandpa thought they were silly and stupid and made fun of them! For some reason, this story made so much sense to me, and at that time I knew that if I were ever to have children, I would not invite Santa into my home.
Now, I realize this may change if I ever have my own children, I just don't see it happening though. Yes, I'll decorate a Christmas tree and buy presents and all that fun stuff. But why bring some strange man into it? Funny how three generations later, my (make believe) children will blow the whistle on Santa Claus, just as my grandfather did as a child of the 30's.
Disclaimer: I think it's perfectly acceptable for parents to share Santa Claus with their children and I am in no way discrediting this ritual. I'm just expressing my personal thoughts on the subject and realize that I am far from the norm.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Clothing Woes
Anyone know where to buy a reasonably priced maternity suit? I am not in court all the time, so luckily I don't need to wear a suit every day. But there are at least a handful of occasions I know of where I will need to dress the part between now and maternity leave. Unfortunately, professional maternity attire leaves a lot of things to be desired. Sure, I have found some really cute sweaters and slacks that I can use in the office, but so far no good blouses and certainly no good suits. I went to motherhood and I felt a little hopeful when the selection (one black and one gray) didn't seem too terrible. But I was shocked when the pants were super tight (despite trying several sizes and several pairs of the same size). I mean, so tight that I had to shuffle my legs just to walk. I was picturing shuffling into the court room and apologizing to the judge for my inappropriate clothing and having to explain that maternity designers still aren't taking the professional woman into account. In the end, I would probably be more annoying than sympathetic. And don't get me started on blouses. I love that the maternity blouse has plenty of room in the tummy so your stomach can grow, unfortunately they forgot to add additional material to the bustline. So when I try on a blouse, it is so tight in the boobs that I look like I am stuffed in, and so big in the waist that I look like I am wearing a young child's dress as a shirt. So, I am still on a quest. And as a result, I have to go to court tomorrow in slacks and a sweater and hope that if I accessorize the hell out of myself no one will notice. Joy.
On the other hand, though, I love how roomy the maternity sweaters are because they feel so cozy and cute. I will just have to make sure that any future pregnancies take place in the fall and winter too so that I don't have to suffer the embarassment of sleeveless shirts with my chubby preggo arms.
On the other hand, though, I love how roomy the maternity sweaters are because they feel so cozy and cute. I will just have to make sure that any future pregnancies take place in the fall and winter too so that I don't have to suffer the embarassment of sleeveless shirts with my chubby preggo arms.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
fetal echo
i had my fetal echo today at rainbow. it went well, and we got another little glimpse of the wiggle worm in my belly....
it was like a normal ultrasound but instead of being done by an OBGYN it was done by a Pediatric Cardiologist. It felt very strange going into a children's hospital to be seen myself. And instead of scanning over the whole baby, the exam focused solely on the heart and the vessels from the heart.
everything was normal, which makes me feel good.....although they always have to give a little disclaimer that things can be missed, and if there is something small, they may not see it...but at least i know there is nothing grossly abnormal about fiffy-fiffy's heart.
ive seen an echo before, and can pretty much see and understand what the cardiologist is looking at....but i give this guy a lot of credit to try to examine the heart on the moving little baby that is still inside me! most of the time, the patient is lying still on the table, or in the case of a little kid, sometimes wiggling, but can always be held still or bribed to stay still. but the baby- there was nothing i could do to get the baby to stop twisting and turning and kicking and flipping and dancing. it seemed as if every time the probe was pressed down harder, the baby kicked it and changed position....it was funny to me, probably not so much to the cardiologist!
it was also the first time i really saw a kick and felt it at the same time, synchronized and strong. ive been feeling kicks for a while, and ive seen movement on the ultrasounds, but normally it is not perfectly coordinated. but today, it was. i felt the kick as i saw the baby move its body on the screen.
i think i am baking a soccer player in here......a soccer player with a perfect heart.
it was like a normal ultrasound but instead of being done by an OBGYN it was done by a Pediatric Cardiologist. It felt very strange going into a children's hospital to be seen myself. And instead of scanning over the whole baby, the exam focused solely on the heart and the vessels from the heart.
everything was normal, which makes me feel good.....although they always have to give a little disclaimer that things can be missed, and if there is something small, they may not see it...but at least i know there is nothing grossly abnormal about fiffy-fiffy's heart.
ive seen an echo before, and can pretty much see and understand what the cardiologist is looking at....but i give this guy a lot of credit to try to examine the heart on the moving little baby that is still inside me! most of the time, the patient is lying still on the table, or in the case of a little kid, sometimes wiggling, but can always be held still or bribed to stay still. but the baby- there was nothing i could do to get the baby to stop twisting and turning and kicking and flipping and dancing. it seemed as if every time the probe was pressed down harder, the baby kicked it and changed position....it was funny to me, probably not so much to the cardiologist!
it was also the first time i really saw a kick and felt it at the same time, synchronized and strong. ive been feeling kicks for a while, and ive seen movement on the ultrasounds, but normally it is not perfectly coordinated. but today, it was. i felt the kick as i saw the baby move its body on the screen.
i think i am baking a soccer player in here......a soccer player with a perfect heart.
nauseous
shouldnt this be over already?
why am i so nauseous?
all day today, ive needed to have gum in my mouth or cookies or something. i tried grapes, clementines. maybe now i should try something fried???
HELP!!!!
my patient rooms are too hot, so i take off my sweater. then, theyre too cold...so, i put it back on. vicious cycle!
and who knows what is happening to my blood sugar. i dont even want to take it. im scared it will be too high since i feel like i need to keep eating so i dont throw up!!!!!
why am i so nauseous?
all day today, ive needed to have gum in my mouth or cookies or something. i tried grapes, clementines. maybe now i should try something fried???
HELP!!!!
my patient rooms are too hot, so i take off my sweater. then, theyre too cold...so, i put it back on. vicious cycle!
and who knows what is happening to my blood sugar. i dont even want to take it. im scared it will be too high since i feel like i need to keep eating so i dont throw up!!!!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
theyre starting to notice
im big.
or maybe its just that i FEEL big.
when you look at me dead on from the front, i look like ive just gotten fatter.
when you look at my from the side, ive got a big round belly.
im into the phase where my shirts are not fitting unless they're either really long or they are maternity. they are all riding up in the front so the top of my "sexy" elastic waist maternity pants are showing, and i dont think it is very attractive. i think i need to go buy some more shirts (long sleeve cozy ones to keep me warm in this cold wintery weather that has begun here in blustery cleveland).
for the last month, i notice my patients looking at me. staring at my belly. staring at me in a way that i absolutely know what they are thinking, but they are still too nervous to ask....
but this week, ive started to get some belly pats and questions- when are you due? I feel that I cant volunteer the information unless asked- im not sure if thats normal or not, but in the field im in, where parents bring their children to see me for medical care, the visits are about them and not me...so, i dont say anything. i dont think there is really an appropriate time for me to interject my own happy news. but im more than happy to answer them when they ask......
in other news, i had my big anatomy ultrasound 1.5 weeks ago and things went really well, and we did not find out the sex....we have some cute pictures (although i do agree, abby....face pictures of the baby do look kind of creepy!). and i have my fetal echo next week, so that should be interesting (im having a fetal echo because im being treated as if i have long-standing diabetes instead of just gestational diabetes).
or maybe its just that i FEEL big.
when you look at me dead on from the front, i look like ive just gotten fatter.
when you look at my from the side, ive got a big round belly.
im into the phase where my shirts are not fitting unless they're either really long or they are maternity. they are all riding up in the front so the top of my "sexy" elastic waist maternity pants are showing, and i dont think it is very attractive. i think i need to go buy some more shirts (long sleeve cozy ones to keep me warm in this cold wintery weather that has begun here in blustery cleveland).
for the last month, i notice my patients looking at me. staring at my belly. staring at me in a way that i absolutely know what they are thinking, but they are still too nervous to ask....
but this week, ive started to get some belly pats and questions- when are you due? I feel that I cant volunteer the information unless asked- im not sure if thats normal or not, but in the field im in, where parents bring their children to see me for medical care, the visits are about them and not me...so, i dont say anything. i dont think there is really an appropriate time for me to interject my own happy news. but im more than happy to answer them when they ask......
in other news, i had my big anatomy ultrasound 1.5 weeks ago and things went really well, and we did not find out the sex....we have some cute pictures (although i do agree, abby....face pictures of the baby do look kind of creepy!). and i have my fetal echo next week, so that should be interesting (im having a fetal echo because im being treated as if i have long-standing diabetes instead of just gestational diabetes).
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
We're Having Baby Skeletor
So yesterday we had out anatomy ultrasound, which is an opportunity to get a good look at the baby and take whole bunch of measurements to make sure everything is "normal." Everything checked out great for us - placenta in perfect position and baby coming along great. While I was happy to see that everything is going well, I was sort of disappointed over all.
The first strike was the doctor we ended up with. I won't use his name here, but I know I have talked about him with some of you before. He is incredibly curt, goes way to fast, and apparently just doesn't "get" that we are really excited to see our baby, may not get to see it again until it comes out, and want to take a little time at least to look it over. He also sort of made fun of us for not finding out what the gender is and repeatedly said "oh come on, I know what it is, I could tell you . . ."
The second strike was that the baby was laying sideways, facing outward. This explains why I felt a lot of kicking movement to the side yesterday. But unfortunately, it was a terrible position to be able to get a cute profile shot. And, apparently, the baby was very interested in the prodding of the ultrasound, because every time the tech tried to get a sneak attack look at the profile, the baby would turn its head and look right at us. Let me tell you something, there is nothing creepier than a head-on ultrasound shot of a baby's face. No joke, it looked like it was wearing a halloween mask. If you looked closely, and sort of let your eyes relax like you're staring at a magic eye puzzle, you can sort of see lips and that makes it look a little more normal. Unfortunately, when the tech left the room, the freeze frame shot of the baby's face was left on the monitor. It creeped me out so badly that I couldn't look at it for the eternity it took for the doctor to come in. I guess I'll be giving birth to baby skeletor in the spring.
Lastly, when the tech left she said she would have the doctor come in and try to get a profile shot. I was excited and hopeful that we could get a better view. Unfortunately, the doctor I previously mentioned just came in, gave us a hard time about the gender, ran the ultrasound wand over my stomach quickly, and declared everything to be great. Then gave us the creepy skeletor photo. Joy.
But, on the bright side I am glad everything is going well. The baby was very active yesterday and it was cute to see arms and legs moving about. Guess the rest is just a waiting game.
The first strike was the doctor we ended up with. I won't use his name here, but I know I have talked about him with some of you before. He is incredibly curt, goes way to fast, and apparently just doesn't "get" that we are really excited to see our baby, may not get to see it again until it comes out, and want to take a little time at least to look it over. He also sort of made fun of us for not finding out what the gender is and repeatedly said "oh come on, I know what it is, I could tell you . . ."
The second strike was that the baby was laying sideways, facing outward. This explains why I felt a lot of kicking movement to the side yesterday. But unfortunately, it was a terrible position to be able to get a cute profile shot. And, apparently, the baby was very interested in the prodding of the ultrasound, because every time the tech tried to get a sneak attack look at the profile, the baby would turn its head and look right at us. Let me tell you something, there is nothing creepier than a head-on ultrasound shot of a baby's face. No joke, it looked like it was wearing a halloween mask. If you looked closely, and sort of let your eyes relax like you're staring at a magic eye puzzle, you can sort of see lips and that makes it look a little more normal. Unfortunately, when the tech left the room, the freeze frame shot of the baby's face was left on the monitor. It creeped me out so badly that I couldn't look at it for the eternity it took for the doctor to come in. I guess I'll be giving birth to baby skeletor in the spring.
Lastly, when the tech left she said she would have the doctor come in and try to get a profile shot. I was excited and hopeful that we could get a better view. Unfortunately, the doctor I previously mentioned just came in, gave us a hard time about the gender, ran the ultrasound wand over my stomach quickly, and declared everything to be great. Then gave us the creepy skeletor photo. Joy.
But, on the bright side I am glad everything is going well. The baby was very active yesterday and it was cute to see arms and legs moving about. Guess the rest is just a waiting game.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Happy Halfway Point Marni!
20 weeks down, 20 to go. Even though you probably won't make it all the way to 40 weeks.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Please, Make Her Stop
Alright, this isn't pregnancy related, other than the fact the my hormones are causing me to be very bitchy today. But will Sarah Palin please do the world a favor and go away?!?!?! I want to turn on my tv to a Palin-free world where she isn't constantly on screen whining about how McCain's aides are "immature" and "jerks", and where I don't have to hear her deny, in Bush-like delusion, that her Katie Couric interview didn't hurt her or her image or the campaign. The woman is a very strange and small-minded narcissist. I can only hope that as the election fades into history that she will too.
I've said my piece.
Also, Jami, I think I have a contribution to make to your POAS fund - I will look for it!
I've said my piece.
Also, Jami, I think I have a contribution to make to your POAS fund - I will look for it!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Fertile Myrtle
So, I always had a feeling that I was very fertile and as soon as we started trying to have a baby it would happen. Joey and I were very careful before we started trying because we joke about me being fertile myrtle. Yes, I did get pregnant the first time we tried but unfortunately we know how that ended. Now, I'm having a very hard time coping with months of trying again and not getting pregnant. I no longer think I'm fertile myrtle. I wonder what is going wrong, what I'm doing wrong, what is wrong with my body. Logically I know it takes time, I've read the statistics that it can take many people up a year and that is considered a normal time frame. No one ever tells you it can be hard to trying to get pregnant.
There is an up side to these months of trying - the trying part. The worst part is the two week wait - its the time after you've done the deed until AF arrives or you get positive home pregnancy test - IT IS TORTURE!!! It is the longest two weeks ever and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. During those 2 weeks I (over)analyze every twinge and feeling in my body. I wonder if that little cramp could be implantation. I think about the excitement and anxiety I would feel if this was the month and the test came saying 'pregnant' again.
I also have to confess that I have become POASaholic - its an expensive habit! POAS is peeing on a stick- clear blue easy has been my brand of choice - I usually start 5 days before my missed period because the box says it can detect up to 5 days early. Of course I should start that early then right?! It stinks to keep getting those 'not pregnant' tests so I've decided to only buy a test once I'm a day or two past the time AF should have arrived. This is going to take will power!!!
Here's to hoping my two week wait torture is coming to an end sometime soon...........
There is an up side to these months of trying - the trying part. The worst part is the two week wait - its the time after you've done the deed until AF arrives or you get positive home pregnancy test - IT IS TORTURE!!! It is the longest two weeks ever and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. During those 2 weeks I (over)analyze every twinge and feeling in my body. I wonder if that little cramp could be implantation. I think about the excitement and anxiety I would feel if this was the month and the test came saying 'pregnant' again.
I also have to confess that I have become POASaholic - its an expensive habit! POAS is peeing on a stick- clear blue easy has been my brand of choice - I usually start 5 days before my missed period because the box says it can detect up to 5 days early. Of course I should start that early then right?! It stinks to keep getting those 'not pregnant' tests so I've decided to only buy a test once I'm a day or two past the time AF should have arrived. This is going to take will power!!!
Here's to hoping my two week wait torture is coming to an end sometime soon...........
Saturday, November 8, 2008
First Little Kicks
Well, this baby must be real. And all this time I feared it might all just be in my head . . . my really powerful head that has the power to stop my period and grow my stomach beyond the bounds of my normal clothes. I have been waiting for this to happen and (I think) it finally has - the first little kicks (or ass-kicking punches) of our baby. When I first thought I felt something, I was at work on a phone call. As soon as I hung up I called Bobby to report and he was ecstatic and incredibly jealous. Since then, I feel things every now and again. Currently, we are on a trip through New England and I could feel a whole bunch of movement on a long lovely drive through Vermont. The baby must get excited when I feel relaxed! I am sure there will be a point in the near future when the baby is kicking the crap out of my ribs and making me curse those once cute little kicks, but for now I am really happy.
In other news, I can now report that I have some serious acid reflux issues. Last week it started and I thought it might just be stressed. But it hasn't stopped and now it wakes me up in the middle of the night, when I feel like it is just going to rise all the way up and out. (Gross, I know). I know carry tums in my purse. And the list of items I can safely eat has just shrunk another few notches. I think I am just down to mashed potatoes and ice cream. Boo to the downside of pregnancy.
Also, I am now only one week away from my anatomy ultrasound where, hopefully, we will find everything going well.
In other news, I can now report that I have some serious acid reflux issues. Last week it started and I thought it might just be stressed. But it hasn't stopped and now it wakes me up in the middle of the night, when I feel like it is just going to rise all the way up and out. (Gross, I know). I know carry tums in my purse. And the list of items I can safely eat has just shrunk another few notches. I think I am just down to mashed potatoes and ice cream. Boo to the downside of pregnancy.
Also, I am now only one week away from my anatomy ultrasound where, hopefully, we will find everything going well.
Friday, October 31, 2008
a love/hate relationship
of course i'll do whatever i need to ensure a healthy baby....and if my gestational diabetes means 4 shots per day, fine. whats a little pinch from a subcutaneous injection?
but what i cant do (or perhaps its more like- what i WONT do) is give up my food cravings or more like over-indulgences.
i went to see my endocrinologist 2 weeks ago and he asked how things were going. my sugars had been relatively fine with some minor adjustments and i had been feeling OK (more like tired, cranky, b i t c h y, and still a little nauseous, but i didnt complain to him).
he asked how the diet was going, and i decided- what the hell. i may as well tell the truth...
my answer: "i was cursing you at mitchell's fish market last week. i wanted to eat the entire loaf of bread instead of just one slice, but since i could only have 4 carbs for dinner and my entree had three carbs, i was restricted to 1 piece of the warm, crusty, melt in your mouth mitchell's bread..."
the look on his face was absolutely priceless.....
he paused, and asked "what exactly did you just say?"....
i again said: "i was cursing you"....."i curse you every time i crave something my diet doesnt allow me to eat".
a long pause.....(i was getting a little nervous. this doctor likes me, we joke a lot, get along great-it is nice being colleagues vs just patient/doctor...but at this point, i thought perhaps i had crossed the line into rude, disrespectful, downright angry)....
and he started laughing! laughing and laughing! nobody had ever "cursed" him before, and he thought it was funny that it came from me.
AND FINALLY (after 3.5 months of pregnancy cravings so far and the last 4 months of levi's pregnancy too), i got what i wanted from him. A SLIDING INSULIN SCALE! which means, i CAN eat whatever i want, i just need to take extra insulin to cover the extra carbs.....
most of the time, i stick to my diet (2 carb breakfast, 3 carb lunch, 4 carb dinner, with a few 1-2 carb snacks mixed in the middle), but for those days that i just want more, or like today during our halloween lunch extravaganza party at the office when i wanted lots of desserts in addition to the sub, i can finally indulge!
so do i like the insulin shots four times a day? NO....NO NO NO NO NO....
but if it allows me to eat what i want, i'll deal with it until a have a healthy baby in my arms....
but what i cant do (or perhaps its more like- what i WONT do) is give up my food cravings or more like over-indulgences.
i went to see my endocrinologist 2 weeks ago and he asked how things were going. my sugars had been relatively fine with some minor adjustments and i had been feeling OK (more like tired, cranky, b i t c h y, and still a little nauseous, but i didnt complain to him).
he asked how the diet was going, and i decided- what the hell. i may as well tell the truth...
my answer: "i was cursing you at mitchell's fish market last week. i wanted to eat the entire loaf of bread instead of just one slice, but since i could only have 4 carbs for dinner and my entree had three carbs, i was restricted to 1 piece of the warm, crusty, melt in your mouth mitchell's bread..."
the look on his face was absolutely priceless.....
he paused, and asked "what exactly did you just say?"....
i again said: "i was cursing you"....."i curse you every time i crave something my diet doesnt allow me to eat".
a long pause.....(i was getting a little nervous. this doctor likes me, we joke a lot, get along great-it is nice being colleagues vs just patient/doctor...but at this point, i thought perhaps i had crossed the line into rude, disrespectful, downright angry)....
and he started laughing! laughing and laughing! nobody had ever "cursed" him before, and he thought it was funny that it came from me.
AND FINALLY (after 3.5 months of pregnancy cravings so far and the last 4 months of levi's pregnancy too), i got what i wanted from him. A SLIDING INSULIN SCALE! which means, i CAN eat whatever i want, i just need to take extra insulin to cover the extra carbs.....
most of the time, i stick to my diet (2 carb breakfast, 3 carb lunch, 4 carb dinner, with a few 1-2 carb snacks mixed in the middle), but for those days that i just want more, or like today during our halloween lunch extravaganza party at the office when i wanted lots of desserts in addition to the sub, i can finally indulge!
so do i like the insulin shots four times a day? NO....NO NO NO NO NO....
but if it allows me to eat what i want, i'll deal with it until a have a healthy baby in my arms....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
A Strong Heartbeat Baby, a Bad Cold for Mama
I can't believe we're closing in on the end of the fourth month already. The past two months have really flown by! We had our doctor's appointment last monday and everything is going along quite well with a strong heartbeat that the doctor referred to as "perfect." It was a good appointment, and I got to set up my 20 week ultrasound, which I really excited to have.
That ... was the beginning of the week. Unfortunately, the rest of the week put me well under the weather. After getting a case settled Wednesday morning, I left to go home and lay down. I could feel something coming on but I thought I might be able to fight it off. Unfortunately, it has blossomed into a terrible cold that has really knocked me out. I haven't been back to work this week and now I have no voice. If I could just sleep well I think that would make a difference. Unfortunately, my doctor tells me that the Nyquil I normally drink to knock myself out is a no-no for the baby. What is on the list? Well, regular strength tylenol and regular sudafed, which haven't seemed to help my symptoms too much. At least I have plenty of hot tea, juice, and tissues thanks to Bobby.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
morning sickness?
can morning sickness start in the second trimester? at 16 weeks? i hope not. i hope what i am feeling is just a fluke, a virus, a little under the weather....hoping it has nothing to do with the path to a new baby.....i hope it is not the start of morning sickness.
for the last three to five days (or something like that, im trying not to remember exactly), ive been waking in the morning feeling terribly nauseous....and i chew gum or have a mint, and i eat breakfast and im generally fine, until some scent sets me off, and im nauseous again.
today has been the worst. i was nauseous this morning, but then we went out to breakfast and i figured once i had eaten, i would be fine....but after breakfast that feeling came back within 30 minutes. in the grocery store, i couldnt help pick out any produce because it all smelled bad to me, and i even took a little produce bag and put it in my pocket just in case....(thankfully no need to use it).
when we came home, i tried to make plans to go shopping, again thinking that i would feel a bit better after eating lunch.....wrong again. worse!!! so i cancelled the plans i had made 30 minutes prior (sorry jami!).
my biggest problems right now are the fridge and the dishwasher. i cant open either one without gagging.....so, my wonderful husband is going to clean out the fridge today to make sure it's spotless and fresh without any old or smelly food....and im the one who normally loads and empties the dishwasher, so who knows what is going to happen now. i guess if there are dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter, i wont be able to go into the kitchen at all and that will be even worse! maybe i should just suck it up, gag a bit, and do the dishes.....or else, we all know, they wont get done.....
the weird thing is that normally chewing gum or popping mints really helps me...BUT, now i put a mint in my mouth or start chewing a piece of gum and i feel like im going to gag on it, and i have to take it out. i have to hold my gum in my hand, chew a little, and then put it back in my hand.....i know- im weird. hopefully this stage passes quickly....
for the last three to five days (or something like that, im trying not to remember exactly), ive been waking in the morning feeling terribly nauseous....and i chew gum or have a mint, and i eat breakfast and im generally fine, until some scent sets me off, and im nauseous again.
today has been the worst. i was nauseous this morning, but then we went out to breakfast and i figured once i had eaten, i would be fine....but after breakfast that feeling came back within 30 minutes. in the grocery store, i couldnt help pick out any produce because it all smelled bad to me, and i even took a little produce bag and put it in my pocket just in case....(thankfully no need to use it).
when we came home, i tried to make plans to go shopping, again thinking that i would feel a bit better after eating lunch.....wrong again. worse!!! so i cancelled the plans i had made 30 minutes prior (sorry jami!).
my biggest problems right now are the fridge and the dishwasher. i cant open either one without gagging.....so, my wonderful husband is going to clean out the fridge today to make sure it's spotless and fresh without any old or smelly food....and im the one who normally loads and empties the dishwasher, so who knows what is going to happen now. i guess if there are dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter, i wont be able to go into the kitchen at all and that will be even worse! maybe i should just suck it up, gag a bit, and do the dishes.....or else, we all know, they wont get done.....
the weird thing is that normally chewing gum or popping mints really helps me...BUT, now i put a mint in my mouth or start chewing a piece of gum and i feel like im going to gag on it, and i have to take it out. i have to hold my gum in my hand, chew a little, and then put it back in my hand.....i know- im weird. hopefully this stage passes quickly....
Monday, October 6, 2008
Tight Pants and a Comfy Pillow
Second trimester ahoy! I am so glad to be done with the first three months, I feel like throwing myself a little party. Constantly feeling like death warmed over, laying on the floor of my office, sipping coke, YUCK. Lucky for me those terrible feelings are starting to disappear, and now sick feelings only occur late at night (joy).
Of course, there are new issues and new stories, and yes, new emotional breakdowns. I have hit the wall. What I mean, of course, is that only one pair of my old work pants still (sort of) fits and I have had to suffer the humiliation of going up a size. And it's not like I have a cute little bulge or anything to show for it yet. But my waist, which I have always loved, is slowing saying "check you later, it's been real." After having to wear jeans to work in the middle of the week (gasp!), I decided it was time to add things to my work wardrobe. Plus, my cousin was getting married so I needed a dress. So I got to spend a Friday night going to every store I could think of looking for something to wear. Inevitably, with each store I was out of luck. My size was too small in the waist and the next size looked weird or, in some unfortunate cases, was still too small. My only issues are my boobs and my waist, but that pretty much kills everthing. After shedding a few tears in a few dressing rooms, I did buy some pants and then my wonderful husband took me to Lane Bryant where, god bless them, I still got to wear the smallest size dress and it was comfy and plenty roomy. They also have a wonderful bra selection for anyone interested if you are cursed with being busty.
Now, as I start to feel this really nice full feeling in my lower abdomen I am getting excited to develop a belly. Sometimes I stand in the mirror and let my stomach relax to see what it might look like. Of course, I am also starting to experience some less pleasing side effects of a growing womb. Well, there is the constant aching. It doesn't feel good but hey, I will take it over nausea. Plus, my chest won't stop expanding. Sorry if it is TMI, but when you have replaced your bra collection twice and it is only week 14 your start to get a little salty about it. But the thing that is now bothering me the most is sleep. Restless, restless, tossy-turny sleep that leaves me with an achy back. I think I always did move around a lot at night, judging by my dishelved sheets every morning, but now the tossing wakes me up. And my tossing occurs much slower because I now feel like there is a weight in my belly when I am turning over. And sleeping on my side has been no picnic, leaving my back angry the mornings. My remedy? A super awsome and comfy pregnant lady pillow that support my back as I lay on my side. And, when I get a big belly I can use it in the front for support there. It was a great investment.
Also, anyone know if those lotions work to prevent stretch marks? I have heard they don't, but I don't care, I am using one anyway. At least I can say I tried!
Of course, there are new issues and new stories, and yes, new emotional breakdowns. I have hit the wall. What I mean, of course, is that only one pair of my old work pants still (sort of) fits and I have had to suffer the humiliation of going up a size. And it's not like I have a cute little bulge or anything to show for it yet. But my waist, which I have always loved, is slowing saying "check you later, it's been real." After having to wear jeans to work in the middle of the week (gasp!), I decided it was time to add things to my work wardrobe. Plus, my cousin was getting married so I needed a dress. So I got to spend a Friday night going to every store I could think of looking for something to wear. Inevitably, with each store I was out of luck. My size was too small in the waist and the next size looked weird or, in some unfortunate cases, was still too small. My only issues are my boobs and my waist, but that pretty much kills everthing. After shedding a few tears in a few dressing rooms, I did buy some pants and then my wonderful husband took me to Lane Bryant where, god bless them, I still got to wear the smallest size dress and it was comfy and plenty roomy. They also have a wonderful bra selection for anyone interested if you are cursed with being busty.
Now, as I start to feel this really nice full feeling in my lower abdomen I am getting excited to develop a belly. Sometimes I stand in the mirror and let my stomach relax to see what it might look like. Of course, I am also starting to experience some less pleasing side effects of a growing womb. Well, there is the constant aching. It doesn't feel good but hey, I will take it over nausea. Plus, my chest won't stop expanding. Sorry if it is TMI, but when you have replaced your bra collection twice and it is only week 14 your start to get a little salty about it. But the thing that is now bothering me the most is sleep. Restless, restless, tossy-turny sleep that leaves me with an achy back. I think I always did move around a lot at night, judging by my dishelved sheets every morning, but now the tossing wakes me up. And my tossing occurs much slower because I now feel like there is a weight in my belly when I am turning over. And sleeping on my side has been no picnic, leaving my back angry the mornings. My remedy? A super awsome and comfy pregnant lady pillow that support my back as I lay on my side. And, when I get a big belly I can use it in the front for support there. It was a great investment.
Also, anyone know if those lotions work to prevent stretch marks? I have heard they don't, but I don't care, I am using one anyway. At least I can say I tried!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
hippo? camel? thanks jeff.
when i was pregnant with levi, jeff used to call me his "little hippopotamus"....it made me CRAZY...he thought it was cute. but it just made me feel enormous, even more than i already felt. but i forgave him when i held a perfect little boy in my arms and as breastfeeding melted my big belly away.
now, jeff says im a two humped camel.
i have a belly bulge above my belly button- i think due to all my intestines and organs being pushed up by my ever expanding uterus.
and my uterus in its ever expanding state is also bulging out below my belly button...
but my waist line, exactly at my belly button, albeit bigger than normal, seems to be skinnier than the bulge above and below.
so, jeff says i have two humps. like a camel.
can someone tell my husband that comparisons to large, bulging, unattractive animals are not the best things to say to a very volatile and sometimes extrememly hostile pregnant wife!!!!!
now, jeff says im a two humped camel.
i have a belly bulge above my belly button- i think due to all my intestines and organs being pushed up by my ever expanding uterus.
and my uterus in its ever expanding state is also bulging out below my belly button...
but my waist line, exactly at my belly button, albeit bigger than normal, seems to be skinnier than the bulge above and below.
so, jeff says i have two humps. like a camel.
can someone tell my husband that comparisons to large, bulging, unattractive animals are not the best things to say to a very volatile and sometimes extrememly hostile pregnant wife!!!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
maternity pants
they say that with your second pregnancy, your belly just pouches out sooner and you get bigger earlier....
i can tell you that it is definitely true.
i absolutely do not look pregnant at all, just that my waist is expanding at alarming rates and none of my pants fit me- i can not button a single pair. i bet a lot of people at work were wondering why i was getting so fat! (until friday when i finally told them all i was pregnant!).
i went into the basement on friday to retrieve my maternity clothes, all clean and folded up neatly in large ziploc bags....
at the beginning of my last pregnancy, i was 20 pounds heavier than when i started this one. AND, since this pregnancy started, i have lost 4 pounds...(not sure why- im eating a ton and im not nauseaous at all!).
so, i started trying on my maternity clothes, and although this may sound nice to some people, everything is too big! it is really frustrating to have absolutely nothing to wear....BUT honestly, im also pretty happy with this finding too, because it means i really did lose weight....Now, instead of being unable to button my pants, im constantly pulling them up because they are falling down....and i think perhaps i look like im carrying something extra in the seat of my pants since they are hanging down so low....
i need to go shopping.....
abby- lets plan a date....(and anyone else who wants to come and be fashion consultants, you are all welcome to join too!).
i can tell you that it is definitely true.
i absolutely do not look pregnant at all, just that my waist is expanding at alarming rates and none of my pants fit me- i can not button a single pair. i bet a lot of people at work were wondering why i was getting so fat! (until friday when i finally told them all i was pregnant!).
i went into the basement on friday to retrieve my maternity clothes, all clean and folded up neatly in large ziploc bags....
at the beginning of my last pregnancy, i was 20 pounds heavier than when i started this one. AND, since this pregnancy started, i have lost 4 pounds...(not sure why- im eating a ton and im not nauseaous at all!).
so, i started trying on my maternity clothes, and although this may sound nice to some people, everything is too big! it is really frustrating to have absolutely nothing to wear....BUT honestly, im also pretty happy with this finding too, because it means i really did lose weight....Now, instead of being unable to button my pants, im constantly pulling them up because they are falling down....and i think perhaps i look like im carrying something extra in the seat of my pants since they are hanging down so low....
i need to go shopping.....
abby- lets plan a date....(and anyone else who wants to come and be fashion consultants, you are all welcome to join too!).
Friday, September 26, 2008
Congrats!!
Congratulations Marni, Jeff and Levi! Levi is a fantastic little boy and this new baby is very lucky to come into your family. How exciting that the Eaton Rd Clan is growing! Wiggle worm Turell and Be-boppin Botnick will be making their appearances only a day or so apart.......Cara looks like we're going to be busy that week!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Number 2- "fiffy-fiffy"
Do you see another little baby there underneath abby's floating baby?
yep...thats mine!
i cant believe im pregnant. im beyond happy.....and jeff and levi couldnt be happier either (although im not 100% sure levi truly understands)....
i found out i was pregnant on a friday. i took the test in the morning because i knew my mom was coming to visit that evening and i wanted to be able to share my good news....and it was positive! i woke jeff up jumping up and down. we were both ecstatic...
my mom arrived that evening with her friend nancy, and my mom was talking on the phone while i went to the freezer, took out a hot dog bun, and put it in the oven....when my mom got off the phone, i told her to go open the oven and asked her what was in there...she looked at me with a blank face and then started to guess.....a roll was her answer, i asked where it was and she said "on the rack". i tried for a few minutes to get her to alter the statement....she got to a bun on the rack, and finally, a bun in the oven.....she still didnt get it right away, and looked at me and finally it just hit her! she was so excited! a bun in the oven.....BUT, i wouldnt let her tell anyone since it was so early and i just wanted to make sure everything went ok....
all that evening, i just kept thinking- wow. abby and i are essentially on the same schedule, i wonder if she is pregnant. wouldnt that just be crazy.....it turns out- 1 day apart, exactly. she took her test (or should i say tests) one day after me, and her due date is one day after mine.....crazy and incredible, but so exciting!!!!
Why did I wait so long to tell you?
religious, superstitious, too much knowledge causing doctor nervousness reasons- all probably have some sort of bearing on why i didnt say anything until now.
as some of you know, i had gestational diabetes with levi's pregnancy.....and i was on insulin from 26 weeks onward. i also had pregnancy induced hypertension. and i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis about 1 year ago.....all problems that make this pregnancy high risk.....
so with this pregnancy, lots of extra caution has been taken. ive essentially seen a doctor every single week, alternating between OB and Endocrinologist. I am already on insulin, as when i started checking my blood sugars immediately after i found out i was pregnant (as instructed by both my OB and my endo) they were already abnormal.
so, maybe the fact that this pregnancy was even higher risk than my last one and because my doctors were being so cautious with me made me even more stressed and nervous.
BUT, today, i turn 13 weeks....
and today, i had a real ultrasound.
i saw a little baby with a head, arms, legs, beating heart, all moving around in my belly like a little wiggle worm!
so now im telling everyone! im spreading my joy and happiness with the whole world!!!!
at the beginning, we told levi there was a baby in mommy's belly. and he didnt say anything. then jeff and i were talking about whether or not we would find out the sex this time (we did not find out with levi and i just knew he was a girl- turns out i was wrong!), and we decided that we would not find out again. the surprise was so great last time....so, we were talking about how it was a "fifty-fifty" chance boy vs girl, and im not sure what else we said, but levi looked and us and said "fiffy-fiffy" and kissed my belly....
so, now the baby is known as "fiffy-fiffy"....and levi says night night to fiffy-fiffy every night and gives the baby in my belly kisses on a daily basis.....
he is going to be such a great big brother!!!!
yep...thats mine!
i cant believe im pregnant. im beyond happy.....and jeff and levi couldnt be happier either (although im not 100% sure levi truly understands)....
i found out i was pregnant on a friday. i took the test in the morning because i knew my mom was coming to visit that evening and i wanted to be able to share my good news....and it was positive! i woke jeff up jumping up and down. we were both ecstatic...
my mom arrived that evening with her friend nancy, and my mom was talking on the phone while i went to the freezer, took out a hot dog bun, and put it in the oven....when my mom got off the phone, i told her to go open the oven and asked her what was in there...she looked at me with a blank face and then started to guess.....a roll was her answer, i asked where it was and she said "on the rack". i tried for a few minutes to get her to alter the statement....she got to a bun on the rack, and finally, a bun in the oven.....she still didnt get it right away, and looked at me and finally it just hit her! she was so excited! a bun in the oven.....BUT, i wouldnt let her tell anyone since it was so early and i just wanted to make sure everything went ok....
all that evening, i just kept thinking- wow. abby and i are essentially on the same schedule, i wonder if she is pregnant. wouldnt that just be crazy.....it turns out- 1 day apart, exactly. she took her test (or should i say tests) one day after me, and her due date is one day after mine.....crazy and incredible, but so exciting!!!!
Why did I wait so long to tell you?
religious, superstitious, too much knowledge causing doctor nervousness reasons- all probably have some sort of bearing on why i didnt say anything until now.
as some of you know, i had gestational diabetes with levi's pregnancy.....and i was on insulin from 26 weeks onward. i also had pregnancy induced hypertension. and i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis about 1 year ago.....all problems that make this pregnancy high risk.....
so with this pregnancy, lots of extra caution has been taken. ive essentially seen a doctor every single week, alternating between OB and Endocrinologist. I am already on insulin, as when i started checking my blood sugars immediately after i found out i was pregnant (as instructed by both my OB and my endo) they were already abnormal.
so, maybe the fact that this pregnancy was even higher risk than my last one and because my doctors were being so cautious with me made me even more stressed and nervous.
BUT, today, i turn 13 weeks....
and today, i had a real ultrasound.
i saw a little baby with a head, arms, legs, beating heart, all moving around in my belly like a little wiggle worm!
so now im telling everyone! im spreading my joy and happiness with the whole world!!!!
at the beginning, we told levi there was a baby in mommy's belly. and he didnt say anything. then jeff and i were talking about whether or not we would find out the sex this time (we did not find out with levi and i just knew he was a girl- turns out i was wrong!), and we decided that we would not find out again. the surprise was so great last time....so, we were talking about how it was a "fifty-fifty" chance boy vs girl, and im not sure what else we said, but levi looked and us and said "fiffy-fiffy" and kissed my belly....
so, now the baby is known as "fiffy-fiffy"....and levi says night night to fiffy-fiffy every night and gives the baby in my belly kisses on a daily basis.....
he is going to be such a great big brother!!!!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Birthday Fever
So here it is. I do NOT have baby fever, let me make that clear from the gun. I do, however, have something else and am unsure if it's just the tick of my biological clock, or possibly something else. My father-in-law harmlessly pointed out last week that my husband's 27th birthday is rapidly approaching. This sent me in a downward spiral of panic, 27? It can't be!? If Matt's birthday is looming, mine is right around the corner from his. Will these next several months fly? Will 27 smack me in the face like 24? (Yes, 24 was a difficult birthday for me, I faced the sad realization that I was one year away from 25 - antique in car years, quarter of a century old) 27 is only 3 years away from 30, do I have time to do everything I want, will I feel old (don't I already sometimes?) What is it that is so urgent for me about turning 27, why does that sound old? All of these thoughts pulsed through my brain in a matter of seconds, I could feel my face muscles quickly turning to panic....my father-in-law must have noticed. "What, it's not your birthday, why do you look so worried?" He's right, why do I look so worried, what's so wrong with turning 27? It hit me, I'm not getting any younger, I'm nearing my childbearing years (or well into them in many cultures) but something is missing....ah yes, the desire to have a child. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want children. I do, I really do, I plan on having them someday, when I'm ready. Which is the concern, what if I never feel ready?!? Is it okay that I'm nearing 27 and not ready for children? What if I hit 28, 29 or even 30 and I'm still not ready?
Monday, September 15, 2008
Practice round
So, I've been debating whether to blog about this or not because I don't want to be a downer but if we're having a baby fever website I think its important to talk about the amazing -having a baby - and the unexpected - a miscarriage. I would have been due April 17.
I took a home pregnancy test on a Thursday. It was the most exciting moment to look over and read the words PREGNANT. Then to run into the bedroom and wake Joey up with the good news was amazing. His response was 'My boys can swim!' We told our parents and siblings that day as well. I was on cloud nine. This could not have worked out any better - getting pregnant our first month trying and my blood sugars were close to the range of someone without diabetes for the past few weeks.
On a quick side note: For those who may not know, I have type 1 diabetes, I wear and insulin pump to control my blood sugars and check my blood sugar at least 10 times a day. I have been very anxious wondering how I could get my blood sugars to the near perfect range that I've been striving for the past 20 years. I'm close but not quite there. For someone without diabetes your blood sugar should be between 60-110 - this is the range a pregnant woman with type 1 diabetes is supposed to follow as well - how am I supposed to do that? The good news is it wasn't as hard as I thought - I think the baby syphoning sugar from my blood helped achieve this daunting goal.
I had my Hcg levels (pregnancy hormone level) drawn Friday - they definitely showed I was pregnant but I had to go Monday as well to make sure the level was doubling or tripling as it should every 2-3 days. Barely doubled. I had to go for another blood draw Wednesday - only went up a few points. Not a good sign. I was told to come into the office for an ultrasound because the doctor was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. The ultrasound showed it was not ectopic but there also was nothing in my uterus - still very early in the pregnancy so that was not surprising I was told. Another blood draw on Friday revealed my levels had dropped in half. I was devastated. The thought of having a miscarriage was not something I was worried about. I think my focus was on my blood sugars and I figured as long as I had that under control then everything would be okay. On Sunday I had the miscarriage. It happened naturally - no procedures needed which I was thankful for.
Numb, distraught, angry, confused, sad are a few of the emotions I was wrestling for the next several days. Why do teenage mothers or crack heads have unplanned pregnancies that don't end in a miscarriage? Why me? Was it something I did? I know the statistics are that 40% of first time pregnancies end in miscarriage but I'm not supposed to be in the 40%. I have to deal with a high risk pregnancy filled with blood sugar checks, carb counting, giving insulin, constant monitoring - why should I have to deal with this as well? I may not have even known I was pregnant if I wasn't needing to 'plan' so carefully due to having diabetes. I was really angry with my body at first - wondering what was wrong with me. I've decided my body did a good thing because there was a reason that baby didn't 'stick'. Its amazing how many times making a baby comes out right and will make me appreciate that even more when I have one I'm holding.
I'm doing much better now - I've come to terms with what has happened but still occasionally feel really sad when I think where I would be in my pregnancy - this would have been my 9th week.
That was our practice round - I'm excited to get back on the TTC (trying to conceive) wagon when its time.
I took a home pregnancy test on a Thursday. It was the most exciting moment to look over and read the words PREGNANT. Then to run into the bedroom and wake Joey up with the good news was amazing. His response was 'My boys can swim!' We told our parents and siblings that day as well. I was on cloud nine. This could not have worked out any better - getting pregnant our first month trying and my blood sugars were close to the range of someone without diabetes for the past few weeks.
On a quick side note: For those who may not know, I have type 1 diabetes, I wear and insulin pump to control my blood sugars and check my blood sugar at least 10 times a day. I have been very anxious wondering how I could get my blood sugars to the near perfect range that I've been striving for the past 20 years. I'm close but not quite there. For someone without diabetes your blood sugar should be between 60-110 - this is the range a pregnant woman with type 1 diabetes is supposed to follow as well - how am I supposed to do that? The good news is it wasn't as hard as I thought - I think the baby syphoning sugar from my blood helped achieve this daunting goal.
I had my Hcg levels (pregnancy hormone level) drawn Friday - they definitely showed I was pregnant but I had to go Monday as well to make sure the level was doubling or tripling as it should every 2-3 days. Barely doubled. I had to go for another blood draw Wednesday - only went up a few points. Not a good sign. I was told to come into the office for an ultrasound because the doctor was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. The ultrasound showed it was not ectopic but there also was nothing in my uterus - still very early in the pregnancy so that was not surprising I was told. Another blood draw on Friday revealed my levels had dropped in half. I was devastated. The thought of having a miscarriage was not something I was worried about. I think my focus was on my blood sugars and I figured as long as I had that under control then everything would be okay. On Sunday I had the miscarriage. It happened naturally - no procedures needed which I was thankful for.
Numb, distraught, angry, confused, sad are a few of the emotions I was wrestling for the next several days. Why do teenage mothers or crack heads have unplanned pregnancies that don't end in a miscarriage? Why me? Was it something I did? I know the statistics are that 40% of first time pregnancies end in miscarriage but I'm not supposed to be in the 40%. I have to deal with a high risk pregnancy filled with blood sugar checks, carb counting, giving insulin, constant monitoring - why should I have to deal with this as well? I may not have even known I was pregnant if I wasn't needing to 'plan' so carefully due to having diabetes. I was really angry with my body at first - wondering what was wrong with me. I've decided my body did a good thing because there was a reason that baby didn't 'stick'. Its amazing how many times making a baby comes out right and will make me appreciate that even more when I have one I'm holding.
I'm doing much better now - I've come to terms with what has happened but still occasionally feel really sad when I think where I would be in my pregnancy - this would have been my 9th week.
That was our practice round - I'm excited to get back on the TTC (trying to conceive) wagon when its time.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Coca-Cola Saved My Life
Well, I never thought this would happen. I am a Coke drinker.
As a general rule, I don't drink pop (soda . . whatever). I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to waste the calories and rot my teeth. On rare occassions, I will drink an orange pop or a sprite, but NEVER a cola drink. I hate cola. It's gross. EXCEPT when it is the only thing that stops my nausea in its tracks. Then I love it. A lot.
Thanks to Laura who told me that nursing a warm, flat, Coke can be a lifesaver. I decided to give it a try when nothing else worked and it has become my remedy of choice in the last week and a half. Each afternoon at work, I buy a small bottle of coke and shake it bunch to get it as flat as possible. Then I pour small amounts into a cup at a time and sip it throughout the rest of the day and in the evening if necessary. I still don't really enjoy it, and it leaves my mouth feeling yucky, but it is sooo much better than the churning feeling. Woo Hoo! I almost feel like myself.
In other news, my sister is having her bachelorette party this weekend, and guess who gets to play designated driver to silly drunk girls in their early 20s? You guessed it, the pregnant sister of the bride! I don't care, as long as nobody minds ending the party by 10pm so I can go lay down.
As a general rule, I don't drink pop (soda . . whatever). I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to waste the calories and rot my teeth. On rare occassions, I will drink an orange pop or a sprite, but NEVER a cola drink. I hate cola. It's gross. EXCEPT when it is the only thing that stops my nausea in its tracks. Then I love it. A lot.
Thanks to Laura who told me that nursing a warm, flat, Coke can be a lifesaver. I decided to give it a try when nothing else worked and it has become my remedy of choice in the last week and a half. Each afternoon at work, I buy a small bottle of coke and shake it bunch to get it as flat as possible. Then I pour small amounts into a cup at a time and sip it throughout the rest of the day and in the evening if necessary. I still don't really enjoy it, and it leaves my mouth feeling yucky, but it is sooo much better than the churning feeling. Woo Hoo! I almost feel like myself.
In other news, my sister is having her bachelorette party this weekend, and guess who gets to play designated driver to silly drunk girls in their early 20s? You guessed it, the pregnant sister of the bride! I don't care, as long as nobody minds ending the party by 10pm so I can go lay down.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Congrats!
Congrats to Abby and Bobby - we're so happy for you and can't wait to meet peanut Botnick in a 216 days......
Hang in there Abby - it is all for a great cause and you won't even remember these days of misery when you're snuggling with your bundle of joy!
Hang in there Abby - it is all for a great cause and you won't even remember these days of misery when you're snuggling with your bundle of joy!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Quick Anecdote
So I have heard about a woman's braing acting weird during pregnancy and I think mine has begun.
The other day, I left my office and walked to the elevator bank to hop on an elevator and leave for the day. I waited, and waited, and waited and it never showed. I was getting really irritated until I realized that instead of pressing the elevator call button, I had been pressing the unlock button for my car on my key fob. Luckily, no one was around to witness my idiocy!
Oh, and check out the floating baby ticker now - thankfully it doesn't look so creepy anymore. And by the way, I think it's amazing that something the size of a green olive can look so much like a person!
The other day, I left my office and walked to the elevator bank to hop on an elevator and leave for the day. I waited, and waited, and waited and it never showed. I was getting really irritated until I realized that instead of pressing the elevator call button, I had been pressing the unlock button for my car on my key fob. Luckily, no one was around to witness my idiocy!
Oh, and check out the floating baby ticker now - thankfully it doesn't look so creepy anymore. And by the way, I think it's amazing that something the size of a green olive can look so much like a person!
Hello . . . Is There Anybody In There . . ?
Frustrations abound.
While I realize that everything that is happening to my body is for a good, natural, and healthy purpose, I can't help but feel like I have some terrible, ever-lasting illness that is destroying my me. If it were just exhaustion, I could deal. If I just felt a little sick, I would understand. If I only had indigestion after eating spicy meals that would make sense. But its all of them, and more, and after I eat anything.
I was looking forward to this past holiday weekend. Three day weekends are like a lush oasis in a sea of work, work, work. For me, this weekend was good because it provided me plenty of time to lie around - in bed, on the couch, on the other couch, on the basement couch (you get the point). But this weekend was also bad because I did not enjoy it, strike that, could not enjoy it. Each morning brought a fleeting few hours of "feeling good" while I tried to accomplish something useful before late morning and afternoon ickiness set in. Each meal brought the promise of indigestion that left me feeling thoroughly sickened by even the most benign foods - crackers, flat warm coke, etc. And each evening brought with it waves of nausea and flushed skin that, at times, made me completely break down into sobs. I would shower, but didn't feel like doing my hair. I would try to distract myself with movies but felt stir crazy.
A nice break was when we got to go to my mom's for dinner on Saturday night. I was jonesing for her mashed potatoes and meatloaf and she was happy to make it for me. I love love love her mashed potatotes. But nothing in that meal loved me. I was sick the rest of the night and barely able to sleep. It wasn't the food's fault, it was this little peanut wreaking havoc on my system.
The only time I actually did anything the whole weekend was Monday morning. See, two weeks ago when I was still feeling fine we made plans to bike on the towpath with some friends. I was really excited at the time - but not so excited Sunday night when I was in my second crying breakdown for the weekend. But, come Monday morning I started my day as usual - with the precious hours of feeling relatively normal. This gave me the energy to dress and go biking. I really did enjoy it. Until about 1pm when I started to feel sick while we were still 4 miles from the car. It is really strange to bike nauseous. Luckily, I made it and rewarded myself with lunch at the Winking Lizard, which then proceeded to give me indigestion and more nausea (sensing a pattern?)
So far, my peanut has not caused me to show, and I certainly can't feel it moving around yet. Sometimes I wonder . . . is anybody really in there? Is a person actually growing in me? I look forward to seeing and feeling the result of all the hard times I have been trudging through. Maybe then it will feel more like a good thing and less like an illness. Hang tight little peanut, hang tight.
While I realize that everything that is happening to my body is for a good, natural, and healthy purpose, I can't help but feel like I have some terrible, ever-lasting illness that is destroying my me. If it were just exhaustion, I could deal. If I just felt a little sick, I would understand. If I only had indigestion after eating spicy meals that would make sense. But its all of them, and more, and after I eat anything.
I was looking forward to this past holiday weekend. Three day weekends are like a lush oasis in a sea of work, work, work. For me, this weekend was good because it provided me plenty of time to lie around - in bed, on the couch, on the other couch, on the basement couch (you get the point). But this weekend was also bad because I did not enjoy it, strike that, could not enjoy it. Each morning brought a fleeting few hours of "feeling good" while I tried to accomplish something useful before late morning and afternoon ickiness set in. Each meal brought the promise of indigestion that left me feeling thoroughly sickened by even the most benign foods - crackers, flat warm coke, etc. And each evening brought with it waves of nausea and flushed skin that, at times, made me completely break down into sobs. I would shower, but didn't feel like doing my hair. I would try to distract myself with movies but felt stir crazy.
A nice break was when we got to go to my mom's for dinner on Saturday night. I was jonesing for her mashed potatoes and meatloaf and she was happy to make it for me. I love love love her mashed potatotes. But nothing in that meal loved me. I was sick the rest of the night and barely able to sleep. It wasn't the food's fault, it was this little peanut wreaking havoc on my system.
The only time I actually did anything the whole weekend was Monday morning. See, two weeks ago when I was still feeling fine we made plans to bike on the towpath with some friends. I was really excited at the time - but not so excited Sunday night when I was in my second crying breakdown for the weekend. But, come Monday morning I started my day as usual - with the precious hours of feeling relatively normal. This gave me the energy to dress and go biking. I really did enjoy it. Until about 1pm when I started to feel sick while we were still 4 miles from the car. It is really strange to bike nauseous. Luckily, I made it and rewarded myself with lunch at the Winking Lizard, which then proceeded to give me indigestion and more nausea (sensing a pattern?)
So far, my peanut has not caused me to show, and I certainly can't feel it moving around yet. Sometimes I wonder . . . is anybody really in there? Is a person actually growing in me? I look forward to seeing and feeling the result of all the hard times I have been trudging through. Maybe then it will feel more like a good thing and less like an illness. Hang tight little peanut, hang tight.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Congrats
Congratulations to Abby & Bobby!! I look forward to reading all about your experiences in the coming months and I can't wait to meet the littlest member of the Botnick family!! I'm loving the bouncing baby countdown, which should be fun to watch grow!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Cheese, Glorious Cheese!
You can now see my weird, floating alien baby in the cool widget Marni was nice enough to add to the blog.
So, I have already had a few food aversions (chicken breast, broccoli, and my regular latte) but I really wasn't having any cravings yet. Until the other day. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I decided I wanted some cheddar cheese. And I wanted it immediately. I called Bobby and he promised he would stop at the grocery on his way home and have cubes of cheddar cheese waiting for me. I even left work 10 minutes early so I could get my hands on it sooner. The entire way home in the car, I kept thinking about the cheese and how good it was going to be. I was impatient with drivers, taking short cuts, and feeling like I was about to go out of my mind if I didn't get some damn cheese! Then, the magic moment came when I finally pulled on to my street. But my elation was soon crushed when I pulled into the driveway only to find that Bobby wasn't home yet. How dare he, I thought to myself. Fortunately, I didn't have a chance to call him in an irrational fit of anger about my cheese because he pulled in right behind me. He presented me with the cheese and I felt like I could not have been happier. I proceeded straight to the couch to sit in front of the fan with my cheese while Bobby took out the dogs (what a guy). I ripped open the top of the bag and peered in at my deliciously orange bounty; then there was the glorious first cube, then the second, and on and on. I was like a madwoman. When I decided I had my fill it was time to lay down. I proceeded to have a nap, only to wake up terribly nauseous. I don't blame the cheese, but I haven't craved it again and the cubes are still sitting in the cheese drawer in the fridge. This pregnancy is messing with my mind.
So, I have already had a few food aversions (chicken breast, broccoli, and my regular latte) but I really wasn't having any cravings yet. Until the other day. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I decided I wanted some cheddar cheese. And I wanted it immediately. I called Bobby and he promised he would stop at the grocery on his way home and have cubes of cheddar cheese waiting for me. I even left work 10 minutes early so I could get my hands on it sooner. The entire way home in the car, I kept thinking about the cheese and how good it was going to be. I was impatient with drivers, taking short cuts, and feeling like I was about to go out of my mind if I didn't get some damn cheese! Then, the magic moment came when I finally pulled on to my street. But my elation was soon crushed when I pulled into the driveway only to find that Bobby wasn't home yet. How dare he, I thought to myself. Fortunately, I didn't have a chance to call him in an irrational fit of anger about my cheese because he pulled in right behind me. He presented me with the cheese and I felt like I could not have been happier. I proceeded straight to the couch to sit in front of the fan with my cheese while Bobby took out the dogs (what a guy). I ripped open the top of the bag and peered in at my deliciously orange bounty; then there was the glorious first cube, then the second, and on and on. I was like a madwoman. When I decided I had my fill it was time to lay down. I proceeded to have a nap, only to wake up terribly nauseous. I don't blame the cheese, but I haven't craved it again and the cubes are still sitting in the cheese drawer in the fridge. This pregnancy is messing with my mind.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
congrats and a great blog entry....
First, I must say how absolutely incredibly excited we all are for you Abby.....We can not wait to see you progress and "grow" with this pregnancy, and develop into an incredible mother and an even better friend.....The Eaton Rd clan is EXPANDING and we couldnt be happier!!!!
Below is a link to a blog entry written by an OBGYN about pregnancy. It is a really really cute "overview" of pregnancy.....i encourage everyone to read it.....(especially those of you who have already been through pregnancy once or twice)....
http://obgynkenobi.blogspot.com/2008/08/evolution-of-pregnancy-conglomerate-of.html
Below is a link to a blog entry written by an OBGYN about pregnancy. It is a really really cute "overview" of pregnancy.....i encourage everyone to read it.....(especially those of you who have already been through pregnancy once or twice)....
http://obgynkenobi.blogspot.com/2008/08/evolution-of-pregnancy-conglomerate-of.html
Oh, and one more thing . . .
My due date is April 7, 2009 (+ or - 4 days). I hope to have a little floating baby ticker up soon.
A Second What?!?!?
Well, it's happened. By some stroke of luck, fate, or swimming ability, I now have bun in the oven. I've known for about a month and its been tempting to write, but until we told our families I kept my mouth mostly closed. It was a shock to me. I mean, not a complete shock, since we were trying, after all, but I was 100% certain I was getting my period the whole week leading up to the test. All of the same symptoms popped up, just like they have every single month for what feels like forever. Bobby, in what I thought was naive optimism, kept telling me that we probably were pregnant because he was sure we "did it right." Oh Bobby, if only it were that easy. Turns out, he was right after all.
At the end of a long week after closing up a difficult and stressful trial, I felt wiped out. In order to cheer me up Bobby took me to dinner and for several delicious glasses of wine at the wine store on Green Road (great place, by the way). I giggled and stumbled my way home, with no clue of what awaited me. The next morning, I woke up expecting to find my period in full swing. It was not. For fun, I decided to take a test, just to confirm my suspicion that stress from the trial had my period delayed (not uncommon for me). To my complete shock, as I washed my hands, I could have sworn I saw a faint second line appearing. So I stood on the toilet to get closer to the light and while squinting the sleepiness out of my eyes I tried to focus on the the little window. My heart started racing and I ran into the bedroom for confirmation from Bobby who was sound asleep. I woke him up by saying "Bobby, you have to look at this RIGHT NOW." His response was, naturally, "What did the dogs do now?" I dragged him out of the bed and to the window to look at the faint line with me. It was pretty exciting and surreal all at the same time. To learn that I was pregnant when I thought I definitely was not - it was like an emotional 180 degree shift. During the next fews days I spent a small fortune on additional tests and took 6 more "just to confirm." But a trip to the doctor confirmed it!
For the next week or so I had major paranoia - each little ache, pain, and incidence of spotting threw me into a tailspin or worry and doubt. Thankfully, my doctor gave me an early ultrasound and we saw a little sac. Then the following week we went back again and saw the little heart beating in the middle of what looked like a peanut. Yesterday, we had our first official doctors appointment and everything checked out fine.
Now, up until the last week or so I felt fine - great even. Not tired, not sick, not weird in any way. Then, it hit me. Feelings so bizzare I can't even put them into words. Most of the time, I feel like I have a fever - my skin is hot, my body is achy, and my stomach turns. Of course, when I take my temperature I don't have a fever at all. I am nauseous most of the day, starting about mid-morning. Thankfully, I haven't actually gotten sick yet, but the feeling is enough to ruin my day. My best friends have become sea bands, lifesavers, string cheese and saltines. Hopefully, the nausea along with the exhaustion, "weirdness" feelings, and hot skin will begin to subside soon. Then I look forward to actually getting a belly, which I think is going to be really exciting.
So, from here on out I hope to chronicle the ups and downs of my first pregnancy.
At the end of a long week after closing up a difficult and stressful trial, I felt wiped out. In order to cheer me up Bobby took me to dinner and for several delicious glasses of wine at the wine store on Green Road (great place, by the way). I giggled and stumbled my way home, with no clue of what awaited me. The next morning, I woke up expecting to find my period in full swing. It was not. For fun, I decided to take a test, just to confirm my suspicion that stress from the trial had my period delayed (not uncommon for me). To my complete shock, as I washed my hands, I could have sworn I saw a faint second line appearing. So I stood on the toilet to get closer to the light and while squinting the sleepiness out of my eyes I tried to focus on the the little window. My heart started racing and I ran into the bedroom for confirmation from Bobby who was sound asleep. I woke him up by saying "Bobby, you have to look at this RIGHT NOW." His response was, naturally, "What did the dogs do now?" I dragged him out of the bed and to the window to look at the faint line with me. It was pretty exciting and surreal all at the same time. To learn that I was pregnant when I thought I definitely was not - it was like an emotional 180 degree shift. During the next fews days I spent a small fortune on additional tests and took 6 more "just to confirm." But a trip to the doctor confirmed it!
For the next week or so I had major paranoia - each little ache, pain, and incidence of spotting threw me into a tailspin or worry and doubt. Thankfully, my doctor gave me an early ultrasound and we saw a little sac. Then the following week we went back again and saw the little heart beating in the middle of what looked like a peanut. Yesterday, we had our first official doctors appointment and everything checked out fine.
Now, up until the last week or so I felt fine - great even. Not tired, not sick, not weird in any way. Then, it hit me. Feelings so bizzare I can't even put them into words. Most of the time, I feel like I have a fever - my skin is hot, my body is achy, and my stomach turns. Of course, when I take my temperature I don't have a fever at all. I am nauseous most of the day, starting about mid-morning. Thankfully, I haven't actually gotten sick yet, but the feeling is enough to ruin my day. My best friends have become sea bands, lifesavers, string cheese and saltines. Hopefully, the nausea along with the exhaustion, "weirdness" feelings, and hot skin will begin to subside soon. Then I look forward to actually getting a belly, which I think is going to be really exciting.
So, from here on out I hope to chronicle the ups and downs of my first pregnancy.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Environmental Baby
A friend I've known my entire life is a few short weeks away from becoming a mom for the first time! It's very exciting stuff and the little bundle of joy is set to arrive right around my next trip home, here's to hoping I can meet the little squirmer while I'm there! I'm trying to find an appropriate gift for the occasion. I refuse to purchase anything made in China, (sorry if this offends anyone, but I prefer to keep my money here in the U.S. and I don't want to support lead paint in toys) which is pretty difficult (try it some time). To complicate things further, I'd like to buy something in organic cotton (I like to support the environment too!). The tricky part is that I'd like to buy something in organic cotton without having to take out a loan. My friend wouldnt care one way or another if I don't buy organic cotton, this is purely a personal decision of mine. I've been trying lately to spend my money to support the local economy first, (also not easy to do when you are living in Northeast Ohio) and to be earth friendly second (again, not easy). I could very easily 'give up', march to target and purchase some adorable winnie the pooh outfit (made in China) and be done with the whole thing. I'm too stubborn for that. I am not, however, too stubborn to ask for help. I am currently looking for suggestions on where to buy 'affordable' organic cotton baby clothes. Oh yeah, it has to be in a unisex color.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Where is everyone?
We have definitely been lacking in the new posting department. I honestly have been checking my email less, surfing the internet less and enjoying the beautiful weather so that is where I have been. Maybe everyone is waiting until there is some news to post? I don't have any news to post now but I will say Joey didn't say no this month when I asked for donations..........
Things I love about babies and why I can't wait to have one:
* Baby giggles - its the best sound in the world
* When they snuggle in a little ball and fit right under your chin
* The smell of a baby
Things I love about babies and why I can't wait to have one:
* Baby giggles - its the best sound in the world
* When they snuggle in a little ball and fit right under your chin
* The smell of a baby
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
no prenatal care
im rounding this week so i am seeing new babies all day everyday....cute little bundles, perfectly formed little miracles....
recently, we have had an increase in the number of mothers who come in to deliver after having had NO prenatal care. Not one visit to the doctor.
It makes me really curious.
What do these moms think is going on? that not having a doctor visit means not really being pregnant? that prenatal care is unnecessary?
and the funny thing is sometimes these are not first time moms.....these moms already have another child or two and had prenatal care with their past pregnancies. maybe they think since theyve already done this a time or two, they know whats going on and everything will be fine?
most of the time, these babies are perfectly healthy, normal, beautiful babies (although we've all heard about - and some of us have even seen - babies who were born into toilets and then taken out of the toilet and put in the tray of dirty of kitty litter- and even these babies turn out ok)....and some women who try and try to get pregnant and cant or women who are so conscientious and perhaps a little neurotic have problems....it makes me sad.
recently, we have had an increase in the number of mothers who come in to deliver after having had NO prenatal care. Not one visit to the doctor.
It makes me really curious.
What do these moms think is going on? that not having a doctor visit means not really being pregnant? that prenatal care is unnecessary?
and the funny thing is sometimes these are not first time moms.....these moms already have another child or two and had prenatal care with their past pregnancies. maybe they think since theyve already done this a time or two, they know whats going on and everything will be fine?
most of the time, these babies are perfectly healthy, normal, beautiful babies (although we've all heard about - and some of us have even seen - babies who were born into toilets and then taken out of the toilet and put in the tray of dirty of kitty litter- and even these babies turn out ok)....and some women who try and try to get pregnant and cant or women who are so conscientious and perhaps a little neurotic have problems....it makes me sad.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Two Snaps up with a Bag of Chips
Just wanted to dust that saying off and give a whirl after about 10+ years on the shelf. I have been bad on the blogging because I really don't have anything to report at the moment. Next week we'll find out if we're successful in the baby department. Until then, I am just focusing on getting ready for a trial and trying not to let all the strees make my womb a hostile environment. But I will say, that after reading the Omnivore's Dilemma and Sarah Mulder's blog, I really want to join a CSA. How do I sign up?!?! I would also love to look into grass fed chicken and beef, but I don't know if they come in Kosher . . .
And in other news, this week we had more young children at our house than we have ever had at one time - 2. But they were a cute pair. First up, Malka, who is a mere 16 months but already psyched to use a fork - as long as there is cake and/or ice cream on the end of it. Next, Levi, who is rounding third base towards his second birthday but already says sentences and can name everyone in a room (I had Bobby try it and he couldnt' do it - just kidding). If anyone can convince me that having kids could be a good idea, it's these two. The only downside was when Malka had to leave and cried because dad was carrying her away from the cake. I feel you Malka, I really do.
And in other news, this week we had more young children at our house than we have ever had at one time - 2. But they were a cute pair. First up, Malka, who is a mere 16 months but already psyched to use a fork - as long as there is cake and/or ice cream on the end of it. Next, Levi, who is rounding third base towards his second birthday but already says sentences and can name everyone in a room (I had Bobby try it and he couldnt' do it - just kidding). If anyone can convince me that having kids could be a good idea, it's these two. The only downside was when Malka had to leave and cried because dad was carrying her away from the cake. I feel you Malka, I really do.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
New Doctor
as a bunch of you know, i loved barry....he was and is a great doctor and dealt with my high risk complicated pregnancy and all of my gazillion questions perfectly.....and levi turned out great! so i trust him completely... and since jeff's insurance changed, i can no longer use barry as my OB. so, i was sad....and scared that i wouldnt find someone as wonderful- yes, i have a little crush on him.... well, i actually asked barry his advice for finding a new OB because i want someone who is well trained to take care of my issues, and he recommended mitch. so i decided that i needed to meet with mitch in advance of conceiving to make sure i like him, trust him, and make sure he knows my issues in advance of being pregnant... i met him today.... and i LOVE him too!!!! (thanks for the recommendation barry!).... he is in his late 30s, and looks like he probably still gets carded when he goes out for a drink. hes really cute, really nice, down to earth, and seems very competent and trustworthy, so im happy. and yes- im sure i'll have a crush on him too, as soon as i get pregnant and have to see him regularly. and best of all, he doesnt know any pediatricians in lake county but has a lot of patients who live out that way and are looking for pediatricians, SO, i handed him all of the cards i had on me and he said he is going to give them out to all his patients that live there. sounds really good to me!!!! now i just have to work on that other issue so i can go visit mitch again.....
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
someone is trying to buy me a pool pass
It's official, my mom has baby fever for me. I've suspected it for awhile, but I've now officially diagnosed it. She has made small comments in passing over the past 6 months or so, but the real symptom came yesterday when she mentioned she's been looking into retirement options. When I pointed out that if she were to retire early she would be bored all day. Her response, 'Well, I would hope that I should have some grandchildren to play with.' From me? Is she kidding? If she wants grandchildren to play with in her retirement, she better not plan on retiring early! For now the only pool pass I want is to Purvis.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Pool Pass
So, many people are very secretive about when they are "trying", when they get the positive on a home pregnancy test, etc until they are officially pregnant for 12 weeks. Well, I am not being secretive about this and I'm so excited that Joey may let us get a pool pass this month! He is scared about how this will change our lives (I'm scared about actually being pregnant) but I'm trying to focus both of us on thoughts about how great it will to be parents. In about a week I may be jumping off the high dive into unknown waters and I can't wait.
Friday, May 30, 2008
baby making
as soon as im done with my malarone (malaria prophylaxis), maybe we'll take a little dip in the pool too.
although, my periods are not regular anymore- perhaps due to the stress of my insane vacation to india?...so i guess we just need to "try" multiple times per day EVERYDAY since i dont know when the time is right....
and we have a little something for everyone to help with variety in their baby making process. we'll give it to you tonight.
although, my periods are not regular anymore- perhaps due to the stress of my insane vacation to india?...so i guess we just need to "try" multiple times per day EVERYDAY since i dont know when the time is right....
and we have a little something for everyone to help with variety in their baby making process. we'll give it to you tonight.
Not This Time
I blame Bobby's dip in the hot tub . . . or maybe it was the 13 wineries we visited. In any event, there is no new addition to announce down at 2500 Eaton this month. Bobby is disappointed. I feel ok about it - it was the first try and all. At least it means I get to enjoy wine tonight at the cook out, and for the next couple of weeks.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Making a Splash
I have this picture in my mind of Abby playing in the pool, splashing around and Jami sitting on the side with her toe in. I, of course, am the lifeguard, sitting way up high on the lifeguard chair away from the water :) I've been giving this some serious thinking, and this is what I've come to. Jami, sometimes we just need to push the party pooper in the water...clothing and all! I promise I'll look the other way in my lifeguard chair :)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Donations
So I will share where we are in the family planning department by sharing a series of emails between Joey and I today
Jami: "Do you want to make a donation"
Joey: "We're broke from vacation, who do you want to donate to now? Someone should give us a donation" (classic Joey)
Jami: "This type of donation is free and fun"
Joey: "Nope. Not this month."
Jami: "if you change your mind I'll be accepting donations until June 1st"
I won't hold my breath for this month and I will try again to convince him to start a family next month.....this waiting game is agonizing! Its not fun to have to sit on the edge of the pool when Abby is enjoying the warm water.....
Jami: "Do you want to make a donation"
Joey: "We're broke from vacation, who do you want to donate to now? Someone should give us a donation" (classic Joey)
Jami: "This type of donation is free and fun"
Joey: "Nope. Not this month."
Jami: "if you change your mind I'll be accepting donations until June 1st"
I won't hold my breath for this month and I will try again to convince him to start a family next month.....this waiting game is agonizing! Its not fun to have to sit on the edge of the pool when Abby is enjoying the warm water.....
Friday, May 23, 2008
You Can't Get FES If You Don't Have a Fetus, Right?
So I am currently 1 week post conception attemptround 1 and so far no news to report. I already feel like a bad parent, though. I was planning on swearing off all caffeine and alcohol until I determine whether or not we got anything going here. But, alas, I felt so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open at my desk. So, after taking a poll of the moms in my office, I determined it would be fine to have a small coffee. That's exactly what I did and it worked wonders. Then, when faced with a glass of wine toward the end of a particularly stressful week, I made the choice to go ahead and have it. The way I see it is, right now, if anything, I only have a small collection of cells and no fetus yet. So there is no risk for fetal alcohol syndrome. I joke, but in reality I have it on the advice of a trusted individual that a glass of wine before you even find out if you are pregnant is ok. Well, PMS seems to be kicking in (albeit a little early) so my guess is that I won't be announcing a baby Botnick this month. We shall see.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Come On In, The Water's Warm!
Well, I have leapt into the baby-making pool with both feet (and my eyes shut tight). We just returned from spending a glorious week in beautiful and awesome northern California. After riding the fence for quite some time, I was ready to give this thing a whirl. So we threw our hats into the ring and we'll just see where we land. I feel pretty excited, actually. I know that Bobby is really excited, and will be hoping that Ms. Flo doesn't arrive as previously scheduled. Now its time for all you other ladies to join me - the water is quite lovely. (Except Cara . . . unless you want to . . . ). Not that keeping pace with friends is ever a good reason to get pregnant, but if you're planning on doing it anyway, I sure wouldn't mind having one or two other people to go through this with. After all, it would be a lot more fun if I could waddle around with friends, trade nausea stories (and remedies), and take turns driving Cara home from 1/2 price margarita night at Lopez. As of right now, I feel exactly the same as I did last week. I guess I have some time before I know whether we got something cookin' over here. I'll be sure to keep you updated.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
A Trial Lawyer's Life
So Saturday we leave for California and I am excited!!! The question remains however, we will return from Cali with something more than good memories and plenty of wine? I don't know. I depends on if I get the guts, if I can get over my weight gain fear, if I can just accept that I didn't lost the weight I wanted, and if I can just generally wrap my mind around having something growing inside of me . . . in a good way. My thoughts are further complicated by what I am going through this week. My firm sent me to a trial advocacy institute, which is a nice way of saying 10 hours a day of learning and practicing trial techniques, performing examinations of witnesses, drilling the fundamentals of exhibit usage, and working up a case to put on a complete trial on Friday; plus, additional homework in the evenings. Besides making me better advocate, this institute has really driven home for me the commitment my job takes. I have not been able to vacuum, do dishes, weed the flower beds, or do any other household chores this week. I have also been unable to relax, spend quality time with my husband, check my e-mail or sleep enough. Now, not every week will be this hectic, but the life of a litigator is stressful and busy, filled with deadlines, seemingly endless work, and pressures from opponents, clients, and an inner drive to do the job right. Thinking about adding a child into that mix is daunting. I really wonder how balancing work and home can happen in a way that everyone - me, Bobby, baby, law firm, can live with. Well, I guess I'll just keep pondering. Hopefully I can get off this fence someday, since it's starting to chafe my ass.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Babies, Babies, Babies, but not my babies!
So I've been meaning to post for a while now, and much of this goes back to the baby talk of possible pregnancies back in April.....so......as selfish as it may sound, I have to say that I'm slightly disappointed that nobody is pregnant. Aside from myself of course. My brother-in-law and his wife just had a baby a few weeks ago, and since they live in Columbus, we have not yet had a chance to meet the new addition! I went a few weeks ago to buy some presents for the first granddaughter and it was quite a treat. I had to make several calls to my mom to make sure I was buying the right things, what size do I get, should I get jackets, can the baby go sleeveless in the summer or is she too young...what do I know!?! I figured I'd stick with clothes since little Mia has an older brother with plenty of toys. The funny part is me, standing in the middle of the store, selecting these adorable little items and I periodically would start laughing at the sight of tiny little socks or teensie little shorts. How hysterically tiny these things are! I think the people in the surrounding areas who could hear me where getting quite a kick out of the crazy girl laughing in the corner. oh well. I do admit that it would be fun to have a new edition to the Eaton Road Clan so that I can buy more adorable baby clothes and cute baby toys! Besides, I still have a bottle of sparkling grape juice from the last holiday party we had, I'll hang on to it in order to toast the next big Eaton Road Announcement! (Sparkling Prosecco for me please!)
Friday, May 2, 2008
ABBY vs BABY
im teaching an infant care class at lake east hospital on monday (thats the reason i'll be late to cinco de mayo dinner at Paladar).
I am typing up some notes to myself about caring for the baby and what happens in the hospital, what happens when you go home, things to remember, etc.
I looked through my notes and everywhere i wrote "baby" it actually said "abby". abby, did you know your name is an anagram for baby? maybe that means something??? it must be a sign.
I am typing up some notes to myself about caring for the baby and what happens in the hospital, what happens when you go home, things to remember, etc.
I looked through my notes and everywhere i wrote "baby" it actually said "abby". abby, did you know your name is an anagram for baby? maybe that means something??? it must be a sign.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
who else is preggo?
i found out that jeff's cousin is pregnant again. her son is 3 weeks younger than levi. i know i should be really happy for her, and i guess i am, but im just really jealous too. it will be great for levi to have cousins so close in age. hopefully we can get together with them regularly, even though they live in brooklyn.
im waiting to hear back from my doctor about getting pregnant while on malaria prophylaxis. after looking it up myself, it looks like i'll have to push back trying until we are done taking the meds, which means possibly late june....
until then, my jealousy rages on.......BUT then i look at levi and what a wonder and dream he is, and i am thankful and grateful and totally in love......
im waiting to hear back from my doctor about getting pregnant while on malaria prophylaxis. after looking it up myself, it looks like i'll have to push back trying until we are done taking the meds, which means possibly late june....
until then, my jealousy rages on.......BUT then i look at levi and what a wonder and dream he is, and i am thankful and grateful and totally in love......
Ava Lauren
My Goodness...
New babies all around.....
Welcoming Ava Lauren to adoring parents, Jessica and Tyler.
Born 4/30/08. 21.5 inches. 9 pounds 12 ounces.
I can't wait to meet you little Ava!!!!!
Congrats...
New babies all around.....
Welcoming Ava Lauren to adoring parents, Jessica and Tyler.
Born 4/30/08. 21.5 inches. 9 pounds 12 ounces.
I can't wait to meet you little Ava!!!!!
Congrats...
Monday, April 28, 2008
baby ivy
marni holding baby ivy simone in the hospital. cant you see how happy it makes me to hold a little baby!!!!!
isnt she beautiful????Saturday, April 26, 2008
baby kisses
i want a baby!!!!
jeff, levi, and i went over to visit ivy simone last night. we brought dinner and hung out, talked, ate. i got to hold ivy for a while, even change a couple diapers....she is so perfect! so beautiful! it seems like so long ago that levi was that little, that cuddly.....holding ivy last night made me want another little one....
josie is exhausted, as expected. that is the one thing i dont miss about a brand new baby. feeding every 2-3 hours, sometimes every 1 hour it seems, problems with breast feeding- which i know ALL about, and constant diaper changing- dirtying a diaper literally 2 seconds after it is put on, or while it is being put on. i used to feel that there was no more exhausted a person could be. being in residency when i had levi, people at work seemed to think they understood about being tired because of residents 30 hour shifts.....but with having a baby, those 30 hour shifts are constant without rest between....without the guaranteed 10 hours off between shifts to catch up on sleep....but that sleepless stage passes quickly, sleep returns, and becomes that much more precious!
i cant (wont) go to india pregnant....but im leaving for india in 2 weeks so that means the clock can start ticking soon.....
jeff, levi, and i went over to visit ivy simone last night. we brought dinner and hung out, talked, ate. i got to hold ivy for a while, even change a couple diapers....she is so perfect! so beautiful! it seems like so long ago that levi was that little, that cuddly.....holding ivy last night made me want another little one....
josie is exhausted, as expected. that is the one thing i dont miss about a brand new baby. feeding every 2-3 hours, sometimes every 1 hour it seems, problems with breast feeding- which i know ALL about, and constant diaper changing- dirtying a diaper literally 2 seconds after it is put on, or while it is being put on. i used to feel that there was no more exhausted a person could be. being in residency when i had levi, people at work seemed to think they understood about being tired because of residents 30 hour shifts.....but with having a baby, those 30 hour shifts are constant without rest between....without the guaranteed 10 hours off between shifts to catch up on sleep....but that sleepless stage passes quickly, sleep returns, and becomes that much more precious!
i cant (wont) go to india pregnant....but im leaving for india in 2 weeks so that means the clock can start ticking soon.....
Friday, April 18, 2008
new baby in ohio city
announcing IVY SIMONE born to Josie and Conor early this afternoon!!!!!
I cant wait to meet her.....7#, 20.5"....
Congrats to the new mom and dad!!!!!
I cant wait to meet her.....7#, 20.5"....
Congrats to the new mom and dad!!!!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I have to say
Life DEFINITELY changes when you have kids.......
BUT
it is for the better by an immeasurable amount!!!!
so maybe we need to pick and choose which restaurants we go to sometimes, and we may need a babysitter here and there when we want to do "adult" things, but i have to say that I think we have a pretty decent social life and I LOVE BEING A MOMMY more than anything in the world!!!!!
You will all be great MOMMIES too and you will all have similar, if not the same, social lives when your little ones arrive.....
BUT
it is for the better by an immeasurable amount!!!!
so maybe we need to pick and choose which restaurants we go to sometimes, and we may need a babysitter here and there when we want to do "adult" things, but i have to say that I think we have a pretty decent social life and I LOVE BEING A MOMMY more than anything in the world!!!!!
You will all be great MOMMIES too and you will all have similar, if not the same, social lives when your little ones arrive.....
I'M.............................
NOT pregnant! YEAH! What? Did I really just say I'm happy to NOT be pregnant? Yes, when Flo arrived today I let out a huge sigh of relief. And Abby for the reasons you mentioned - vomit (hopefully not because we're all "mature" drinkers), cigars, others being drunk from fabulous wine and me sitting on the sidelines was not going to be my idea of an awesome vacation.
June sounds like a good month to start. July and August sound good as well. At this point who knows with my cycles being messed up maybe June will be the next possibility. Are we having cold feet? Marni you've already taken the leap and Cara you're having chills - it sucks to be in limbo! Let's be honest - will we ever be truly ready? I'm guessing not. It seems like so many parents of little ones say "wait as long as you can - they're great but life is SO different". What am I supposed to do with that information. Obviously life will be different but it's enhanced because you're enlightening a new life and molding a new person to be someone wonderful - right? Marni and Jeff still have a great social life. I think the scary, hard part to think about is having to grow this little person INSIDE my body. Everything I do with my body during those months could have an effect on the outcome of this little one. Jami+ type 1 diabetes+ pregnancy= anxiety.
June sounds like a good month to start. July and August sound good as well. At this point who knows with my cycles being messed up maybe June will be the next possibility. Are we having cold feet? Marni you've already taken the leap and Cara you're having chills - it sucks to be in limbo! Let's be honest - will we ever be truly ready? I'm guessing not. It seems like so many parents of little ones say "wait as long as you can - they're great but life is SO different". What am I supposed to do with that information. Obviously life will be different but it's enhanced because you're enlightening a new life and molding a new person to be someone wonderful - right? Marni and Jeff still have a great social life. I think the scary, hard part to think about is having to grow this little person INSIDE my body. Everything I do with my body during those months could have an effect on the outcome of this little one. Jami+ type 1 diabetes+ pregnancy= anxiety.
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Pros, The Cons, and the What the F*%$s!
Before I launch into my own tale of woe, let me just say YIKES! Alright, I will just be straight up. Jami, if you are pregnant I will be really happy and very excited for you. But, if you are not, I will do a selfish little dance of joy (in my head only, of course, I am not weird) because the SF trip just won't be the same without you participating all in. Enough said on that, it seems pretty clear from your post what your preference is. It's just that, if Joey and Bobby start throwing up from having too much wine and then sucking on cigars it will be a lot easier to tolerate if we were both drunk too. But still, if you have a bun in the oven we'll throw you a party.
I am in major flux right now. For anyone who had to deal with me the last two weeks you probably noticed that I was out of my mind. A little problem with a prescription left me with bad side effects. It is straightened out for now, but it is going to take a visit to another doctor to figure out a permanent solution. As a result, however, I don't think May is going to work for us now. Looks like it might be June.
I have to say, while I am slightly bummed about the situation, I couldn't help feeling a bit relieved as well. Oddly, I felt sort of like I got a little reprieve from a sentence. I know it sounds terrible, but I am having a hard time coming to grips with closing a chapter. I think things might be simpler if I just had an "oops" pregnancy. Then at least life would push me over that fear of just doing it.
In any event, it is going to have to happen soon because Bobby keeps cradling our smaller dog like a baby. More and more, in fact. Last night, it sort of gave me the creeps and I had to tell him to stop. I think he has baby fever - if it is possible for men to have it. Then again, he doesn't have to grow a person or get fat or push one through a sensitive orifice. Lucky.
better late for now
I stopped taking birth control pills in August because I had the "fever" and wanted to be ready whenever I got the "OK" from Joey. No OK yet but hoping for it sometime soon! Since then I have had my cycle every 28 days - which reiterates my thoughts that I am fertile myrtle. I have this idea that the first time we try to make a baby it will happen. SO, you can see my surprise that I am 6 days late. I've taken 2 pregnancy tests - NEGATIVE whew!
This causes problems for a few reasons
1. We are actively NOT trying to have a baby right now (2 forms of birth control) because we are taking at second honeymoon trip to wine country next month and partake in tasting those delicious wines while we're there
2. I want to actively be trying to have a baby when we do conceive
3. I have diabetes and I need to have my blood sugars in near perfect control prior to conception - they are good right now but could and will be better once we're trying
4. Now, I will most likely have my period while we're on our trip in San Francisco - bummer!
The fever definitely has been waxing and waning for me recently. I think it may be because I know we're not going to try until we get back from our trip so no need to think about it now. I totally agree with what Abby wrote about having to "leave behind" the reality that we've been a part of and thinking about how different things will be. In some ways I want to try in May but in others I want to wait until August or September because then I can enjoy one last summer of my current life. Life will be even more amazing I'm sure once we're enjoying a little person we created together but not sure if when I want to begin that journey yet. Concerts, cook outs, bachelorette parties, weddings, all of those things will be different pregnant - enjoyable in a different way so when do I want to start that new way?
Let's hope I haven't already.......
This causes problems for a few reasons
1. We are actively NOT trying to have a baby right now (2 forms of birth control) because we are taking at second honeymoon trip to wine country next month and partake in tasting those delicious wines while we're there
2. I want to actively be trying to have a baby when we do conceive
3. I have diabetes and I need to have my blood sugars in near perfect control prior to conception - they are good right now but could and will be better once we're trying
4. Now, I will most likely have my period while we're on our trip in San Francisco - bummer!
The fever definitely has been waxing and waning for me recently. I think it may be because I know we're not going to try until we get back from our trip so no need to think about it now. I totally agree with what Abby wrote about having to "leave behind" the reality that we've been a part of and thinking about how different things will be. In some ways I want to try in May but in others I want to wait until August or September because then I can enjoy one last summer of my current life. Life will be even more amazing I'm sure once we're enjoying a little person we created together but not sure if when I want to begin that journey yet. Concerts, cook outs, bachelorette parties, weddings, all of those things will be different pregnant - enjoyable in a different way so when do I want to start that new way?
Let's hope I haven't already.......
exciting news
did i fool you with this title?
nope, no exciting news yet.....
BUT, maybe this blog thing will get tons more fun when ONE or TWO or THREE (probably not FOUR) of us gets pregnant....
In other news, Josie was admitted to the hospital a few days ago and we all thought maybe we would get to meet her beautiful little boy or girl this weekend, BUT, the baby is still comfortable in its home in her belly....Hopefully we'll get to meet the little one soon!!!!! (due date is May 4th).
nope, no exciting news yet.....
BUT, maybe this blog thing will get tons more fun when ONE or TWO or THREE (probably not FOUR) of us gets pregnant....
In other news, Josie was admitted to the hospital a few days ago and we all thought maybe we would get to meet her beautiful little boy or girl this weekend, BUT, the baby is still comfortable in its home in her belly....Hopefully we'll get to meet the little one soon!!!!! (due date is May 4th).
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Baby Fever Ebbs and Flows
Have no fear Marni, you are not alone. After a brief respite from baby fever madness, I have returned to feeling ready and excited (and scared) to embark on the baby train. Recently, though, I did have some moments of panic about the prospect of pregnancy. I was visiting with a friend when she asked me if I wanted to do a bike race for charity with her this summer. Being someone who loves to bike, I said sure. Then I realized that I will probably not be able to participate, and this made me sad. I mean, I don't even have a child yet and already I am beginning to feel like my life and my choices are not entirely my own. And as if that weren't enough, I had a conversation with that same friend later that same day about a mutual friend's upcoming wedding. She was pondering the idea of appointing a designated driver for the reception when she turned to me and asked if I would take that role since I will probably be pregnant and all. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind giving up my cherished glasses of wine to bring a child into this world, its just that her comment made me feel really isolated and sad. It was the first time I really felt like I would have to say goodbye to a chapter of my life - like my childless friends are going to get to live on in this reality that I have always been a part of, but where I can no longer stay. This really throws me out of whack.
Today, I am feeling better and more exited about starting on a path towards motherhood. Only, my baby fever has become less rabid and blinding and now feels a little more calm and well-reasoned. I am really looking forward to having this person to teach how to do things and to watch it grow and turn from a blob of a baby into a teeny person. Although, it is me, so I will probably go back and forth a few more times before I actually pull the trigger . . . I have already decided to bring some condoms on vacation, just in case I chicken out.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
anyone?
all right ladies....
am i the only one who still has baby fever? i am the only one who already has a baby!!!!! and i cant wait for another one.
our neighbors across the street (rich/adele) yesterday told me that any of our neighbors who have baby fever can come over and watch their children (tony 4, and eddie 2) and they will cure them of their "disease".....
im happy to report that it seems levi does not cure anyone....he invites more and more fever!!!!! bobby and joey were so cute the other night playing with levi and his car. i know they'll both be great dads.....
so get moving ladies!!!!
am i the only one who still has baby fever? i am the only one who already has a baby!!!!! and i cant wait for another one.
our neighbors across the street (rich/adele) yesterday told me that any of our neighbors who have baby fever can come over and watch their children (tony 4, and eddie 2) and they will cure them of their "disease".....
im happy to report that it seems levi does not cure anyone....he invites more and more fever!!!!! bobby and joey were so cute the other night playing with levi and his car. i know they'll both be great dads.....
so get moving ladies!!!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
something in the water
i love levi. he is the most amazing, wonderful, perfect little man. i wouldnt change anything in the world about him. BUT, he is a handful sometimes! how do people have 2 babies so close together?
2 girls from my birthing class are due with baby number 2 within the next 3 weeks. they have babies exactly the same age as levi and now they'll have infants too! after dealing with levi's lunchtime tantrum today at bahama breeze (you can read about it on my personal blog), and it taking both me and jeff to control him, i can not imagine how we would have handled 2 babies at the same time! (let alone twins, thats another story all together! i give those parents a TON of credit!)....
it seems everyone is pregnant now. seriously. is there something in the water? let me count......josie, jessica, erin, courtney- all due with baby #1 within the next couple months. Amanda, Theresa, Randi, Erin (a different one), Brooke- all due with baby #2 within the next few months. I'm probably missing a few.....even so, doesnt that seem like a lot? i guess i'll just have to do a lot of baby shopping.
im taking one of my friends out for brunch tomorrow instead of throwing her a baby shower. timing and location just did not work out for the shower, but this is a good substitute. cheesecake factory sunday morning has the best specials!!!!! i bought her all this cute baby stuff. the clothes are so little and adorable! i cant believe levi was that little once.....he is such a big boy now! 18 month clothes are definitely not as cute as 0-3....i do have to say though, as i was searching for unisex clothes (she is not finding out the sex), the selection is limited! i did not do any baby shopping before levi was born, and my friends mentioned MORE than once that it was not easy finding things for boy/girl.....yellow, green, red i guess is all there is. but i found some cute things....
2 girls from my birthing class are due with baby number 2 within the next 3 weeks. they have babies exactly the same age as levi and now they'll have infants too! after dealing with levi's lunchtime tantrum today at bahama breeze (you can read about it on my personal blog), and it taking both me and jeff to control him, i can not imagine how we would have handled 2 babies at the same time! (let alone twins, thats another story all together! i give those parents a TON of credit!)....
it seems everyone is pregnant now. seriously. is there something in the water? let me count......josie, jessica, erin, courtney- all due with baby #1 within the next couple months. Amanda, Theresa, Randi, Erin (a different one), Brooke- all due with baby #2 within the next few months. I'm probably missing a few.....even so, doesnt that seem like a lot? i guess i'll just have to do a lot of baby shopping.
im taking one of my friends out for brunch tomorrow instead of throwing her a baby shower. timing and location just did not work out for the shower, but this is a good substitute. cheesecake factory sunday morning has the best specials!!!!! i bought her all this cute baby stuff. the clothes are so little and adorable! i cant believe levi was that little once.....he is such a big boy now! 18 month clothes are definitely not as cute as 0-3....i do have to say though, as i was searching for unisex clothes (she is not finding out the sex), the selection is limited! i did not do any baby shopping before levi was born, and my friends mentioned MORE than once that it was not easy finding things for boy/girl.....yellow, green, red i guess is all there is. but i found some cute things....
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Baby Chills
So if Marni, Abby and Jami have baby fever, I definitely have baby chills. I think one of the contributing ideas of this whole blog idea is that it's comical to hear the difference in baby fever levels here on eaton road. I'm very not overcome with baby fever. I'm anti baby fever, and it's funny to sit in on baby fever conversations. I'm like the jack ass in the corner, heckling the comedian, just laughing at baby fever and talking about my un-motherly abilities. I don't hate babies, and I'm sure someday I'll have babies, but right now my favorite babies are the ones that support their own head and go home with their mommy and daddy at the end of the night. I'm sure this is completely normal. I love hearing every one's baby stories and baby fever stories, but I love knowing that I don't have to soothe a crying baby or change any dirty diapers. Hell, I can barely get myself out the door in time for work, I couldn't imagine juggling a baby! Someday I'll have baby fever, (at least my mother-in-law hopes I'll have baby fever) maybe it will hit when I least expect it. Does this sort of fever creep up on you? For now I'll be the crazy girl next door that feeds your kid chocolate at 9pm and chases them around the dining room table a couple dozen times before sending them home for you to put them to bed. Sweet Dreams!
4 month olds
4 month old babies are my favorite!!!! they smile and laugh all the time, and they are sleeping through the night (most of them at least). When im at work and I have a 4 month old check-up, i want to hold them, carry them around, and cuddle with them. sometimes i even joke that the baby can come home with me for a while.
I guess ive got the fever.
I guess ive got the fever.
Monday, March 10, 2008
refreshing
tonight we went to dinner with our friends who have a beautiful new baby girl who is now three weeks old. i called them today to see if we could stop by and bring over some homemade veggie soup and dinner. they said that they already had plans to go out for dinner, to a bar no less. they invited us to join them so off we went. Levi loved the baby- repeating over multiple times "beebee, beebee" and waving "hi beebee".
It made me think about my friends with kids.
there are three types as far as i can tell.
1. Moms that need to be home according to the child's sleep schedule. (7pm to put their children to bed, and between 1-4pm for naptime). Those moms will do things as long as it does not interfere with baby sleeping.
2. Moms who never want to do anything at all (and even sit in the backseat of the car with their children when they go anywhere- even though the babies are 6 and 9 months).
3. (which i claim to be a part of myself) Moms who do almost everything they used to do "pre-baby" with some slight modifications- still go out to dinner, hang out with friends, and even bring the babies along and puts the babies to sleep whenever/wherever (even if it is in the pack-n-play at someone else'e house).
It was refreshing to hear that our friends with their NEW baby were already going out to dinner and bringing the baby along. I know they will be laid back great parents and it makes me so happy!!!!
I like to postulate how my friends without babies will be when their little ones decide to arrive. One friend is due in a couple months and I like to think she will be in group number 3- I hope so, at least.
When i think about abby and jami having kids, i think they will also be the relaxed type (and as they know, if they are crazy like some of my other friends, i will definitely not be shy- i'll be my blunt self and tell them how i feel!)...
As a pediatrician, one thing i can say is that of all the kids i see day in and day out, the moms that are relaxed have pleasant tempered children, and the moms that are stress cases have babies that are high strung like their mommies...
It made me think about my friends with kids.
there are three types as far as i can tell.
1. Moms that need to be home according to the child's sleep schedule. (7pm to put their children to bed, and between 1-4pm for naptime). Those moms will do things as long as it does not interfere with baby sleeping.
2. Moms who never want to do anything at all (and even sit in the backseat of the car with their children when they go anywhere- even though the babies are 6 and 9 months).
3. (which i claim to be a part of myself) Moms who do almost everything they used to do "pre-baby" with some slight modifications- still go out to dinner, hang out with friends, and even bring the babies along and puts the babies to sleep whenever/wherever (even if it is in the pack-n-play at someone else'e house).
It was refreshing to hear that our friends with their NEW baby were already going out to dinner and bringing the baby along. I know they will be laid back great parents and it makes me so happy!!!!
I like to postulate how my friends without babies will be when their little ones decide to arrive. One friend is due in a couple months and I like to think she will be in group number 3- I hope so, at least.
When i think about abby and jami having kids, i think they will also be the relaxed type (and as they know, if they are crazy like some of my other friends, i will definitely not be shy- i'll be my blunt self and tell them how i feel!)...
As a pediatrician, one thing i can say is that of all the kids i see day in and day out, the moms that are relaxed have pleasant tempered children, and the moms that are stress cases have babies that are high strung like their mommies...
How Far Would You Travel to See a Meatball?
Friday began what would, on Saturday, be dubbed "the worst snow storm this season." It was so bad, in fact, that on the news you could catch plenty of commentary comparing it/contrasting it with the great 1977 (?) snow storm. I wasn't alive to catch that one, but this one was pretty hefty. At 2pm, I get a call from Bobby who tells me that they are closing the county offices. He is a county prosecutor and if it isn't enough that they normally end their Fridays at 4pm, they also seem to close whenever it might snow. Normally, this arrangement does not benefit me in the least but on last Friday it just so happened that we carpooled to work. So, lucky me, I got to leave work early. Now, the original plan (and the reason we drove in together) is that we were going straight to the hospital after work to see my cousin's newborn baby. And just to prove to you that I am not in my right mind, we still, in the snow, and in the gridlock, drove to the hospital on the other side of town (and the opposite direction from home) to see the baby. You might think that leaving early meant we got to beat the traffic, but you would be wrong. We suffered a miserable 60 minutes for a drive that would normally only take 15 just so I could hold a 2-day-old baby that wasn't even mine. Of course, in my opinion, it was totally worth it.
But, while holding the precious, teeny, little baby (that my cousin lovingly refers to as his "meatball") I had to sit through the horrific description of the labor and delivery that it took to bring the little cutie into the world. I will spare you the details, but suffice to say, it involves 18 hours of labor, 2 straight hours of pushing, vomit, an "oh shit" bar, the words "stuck in pelvis," and and emergency C-section. After hearing that, I thought that maybe I could just get a couple more dogs and call it a day.
But seeing Bobby holding her (awkwardly at first and a little afraid of her wobbly head) made me wish that we were the ones who were having a baby. Overall, I would put the experience more in the "pro baby" column. I do already have a cache of onesies, afterall . . .
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Ambivalence, Thy Name is Abby
No idea seems more brilliant than those conceived over half price margaritas during an ice storm. And that is just how this blog came about. Until recently, my life focused on graduating law school (done), buying a house (done), getting married (done), and chasing around two dogs and praying they won't pee on the rug while I am gone (still in progress). In fact, two years ago I wasn't even sure that I wanted to have children. Ever. Now, I find myself cooing at babies and picturing family dinners and walks in the neighborhood with a stroller. When did that happen?!? I already have names picked out, including middle names and alternate middle names. Some days, I turn to my husband (who was blessed with immense patience) and say "let's have a family now." Other days, I start to panic at thinking how having a baby will keep me chained to the house, unable to do anything but discuss feeding times, toy recalls, and how much college is going to cost in 2027. In fact, just the other day it dawned on me that I never made that bike trip down the towpath, or went hiking in Arches National Park, or went to Europe, or got a PhD in psychology. When am I going to do all of these things?!?!!? In my mind I feel like I am constantly trying to balance the prime traveling and degree-seeking years that keep flying by with the ever-looming reproductive deadline. It is no easy task, especially when I am trying to keep on a professional track of becoming a partner in a law firm. How are we supposed to do all of this? Even still, all my fears didn't stop me from hanging on to a few of the gifts I bought for a recent baby show (yes, that IS sad). And I, too, bought a college-themed onesie for my fake baby that I don't yet have. Maybe my fake baby and Jami's fake baby can have a fake college rivalry. Oh well, at least maternity clothes look pretty cute these days.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
A little background
So I thought you might want to know how the blog idea came about........it started out with the four of us and our husbands who are neighbors on the same street (about 8 houses apart). There is Abby and Bobby, Cara and Matt, Marni and Jeff and their 18month old son Levy, along with myself and my husband Joey. We're twenty somethings to early 30s and love that we can hang out at one of our houses then just walk home (no sober driver needed!) Until recently our discussions at dinner or over drinks have been the Cleveland Indians in the playoffs, job opportunities, great restaurants, vacation ideas, what kind of new car to buy, and humurous stories from our past. A few months ago baby fever overcame Abby, Marni, and I - this is now a new topic of conversation - fun for the ladies and often ignored by the men. Its hard to explain this baby fever unless you've experienced it for yourself. Some days it consumes most of my thoughts - when I think we should start trying, baby names, imagining what it will be like to be pregnant - these are the days Joey wants to hit a mute button to make me stop spouting out baby talk. Don't get me wrong, he wants to have kids but the thought of it at this time is somewhat overwhelming for him which is a foreign concept to me during the "baby fever". Once the "fever" subsides I wonder how I will ever work, exercise, cook, walk the dogs, take care of a baby and still have a social life. Pondering those subjects can make me feel overwhelmed as well so I stop thinking about it and look at the adorable IU onesie I bought. Joey and I met at Indiana University (IU) where we went to college and when we were there visiting a few months ago I bought this onesie for our future baby to wear. This was an ordeal - Joey actually had sweat on his brow when I was making this purchase due to the anxiety of thinking about us having a baby - he'll get over that feeling right?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
maternity leave?
i was at my work meeting today and someone was talking about taking a trip for 3 weeks next spring. she wanted to make sure nobody else was planning vacation during that time so she wouldnt mess up scheduling. then she looked at me and said "vacation OR maternity leave"...of course i got all red....perhaps maternity leave next spring, hopefully i guess is the better way to say it.
i was bending down this morning putting a bowl into the dishwasher and i got a shooting pain up the middle of my back. i almost threw up, almost passed out. im thankful jeff was in the kitchen with me. he helped me to the couch but i was going to be late for work so he walked me to my car and i went to my meeting. of course, as i was driving it got worse and worse. i hobbled into the meeting, and afterwards they needed to wheel me back to my car in a wheelchair because i couldnt walk, nor could i work!!!! after hours at the dr office today, its just a strain (which i assumed but it didnt help the pain), i had a pain shot and then a muscle relaxer prescription. so now im stuck in bed, lying on a heating pad, with an awful back spasm. aaaarrrrggghhh!!! anyone have any good DVDs i can borrow tomorrow while im stuck in bed on my back?
i was bending down this morning putting a bowl into the dishwasher and i got a shooting pain up the middle of my back. i almost threw up, almost passed out. im thankful jeff was in the kitchen with me. he helped me to the couch but i was going to be late for work so he walked me to my car and i went to my meeting. of course, as i was driving it got worse and worse. i hobbled into the meeting, and afterwards they needed to wheel me back to my car in a wheelchair because i couldnt walk, nor could i work!!!! after hours at the dr office today, its just a strain (which i assumed but it didnt help the pain), i had a pain shot and then a muscle relaxer prescription. so now im stuck in bed, lying on a heating pad, with an awful back spasm. aaaarrrrggghhh!!! anyone have any good DVDs i can borrow tomorrow while im stuck in bed on my back?
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