fetal echo

i had my fetal echo today at rainbow. it went well, and we got another little glimpse of the wiggle worm in my belly....
it was like a normal ultrasound but instead of being done by an OBGYN it was done by a Pediatric Cardiologist. It felt very strange going into a children's hospital to be seen myself. And instead of scanning over the whole baby, the exam focused solely on the heart and the vessels from the heart.
everything was normal, which makes me feel good.....although they always have to give a little disclaimer that things can be missed, and if there is something small, they may not see it...but at least i know there is nothing grossly abnormal about fiffy-fiffy's heart.
ive seen an echo before, and can pretty much see and understand what the cardiologist is looking at....but i give this guy a lot of credit to try to examine the heart on the moving little baby that is still inside me! most of the time, the patient is lying still on the table, or in the case of a little kid, sometimes wiggling, but can always be held still or bribed to stay still. but the baby- there was nothing i could do to get the baby to stop twisting and turning and kicking and flipping and dancing. it seemed as if every time the probe was pressed down harder, the baby kicked it and changed position....it was funny to me, probably not so much to the cardiologist!
it was also the first time i really saw a kick and felt it at the same time, synchronized and strong. ive been feeling kicks for a while, and ive seen movement on the ultrasounds, but normally it is not perfectly coordinated. but today, it was. i felt the kick as i saw the baby move its body on the screen.
i think i am baking a soccer player in here......a soccer player with a perfect heart.

nauseous

shouldnt this be over already?
why am i so nauseous?
all day today, ive needed to have gum in my mouth or cookies or something. i tried grapes, clementines. maybe now i should try something fried???
HELP!!!!
my patient rooms are too hot, so i take off my sweater. then, theyre too cold...so, i put it back on. vicious cycle!
and who knows what is happening to my blood sugar. i dont even want to take it. im scared it will be too high since i feel like i need to keep eating so i dont throw up!!!!!

theyre starting to notice

im big.
or maybe its just that i FEEL big.
when you look at me dead on from the front, i look like ive just gotten fatter.
when you look at my from the side, ive got a big round belly.
im into the phase where my shirts are not fitting unless they're either really long or they are maternity. they are all riding up in the front so the top of my "sexy" elastic waist maternity pants are showing, and i dont think it is very attractive. i think i need to go buy some more shirts (long sleeve cozy ones to keep me warm in this cold wintery weather that has begun here in blustery cleveland).
for the last month, i notice my patients looking at me. staring at my belly. staring at me in a way that i absolutely know what they are thinking, but they are still too nervous to ask....
but this week, ive started to get some belly pats and questions- when are you due? I feel that I cant volunteer the information unless asked- im not sure if thats normal or not, but in the field im in, where parents bring their children to see me for medical care, the visits are about them and not me...so, i dont say anything. i dont think there is really an appropriate time for me to interject my own happy news. but im more than happy to answer them when they ask......
in other news, i had my big anatomy ultrasound 1.5 weeks ago and things went really well, and we did not find out the sex....we have some cute pictures (although i do agree, abby....face pictures of the baby do look kind of creepy!). and i have my fetal echo next week, so that should be interesting (im having a fetal echo because im being treated as if i have long-standing diabetes instead of just gestational diabetes).

We're Having Baby Skeletor

So yesterday we had out anatomy ultrasound, which is an opportunity to get a good look at the baby and take whole bunch of measurements to make sure everything is "normal." Everything checked out great for us - placenta in perfect position and baby coming along great. While I was happy to see that everything is going well, I was sort of disappointed over all.

The first strike was the doctor we ended up with. I won't use his name here, but I know I have talked about him with some of you before. He is incredibly curt, goes way to fast, and apparently just doesn't "get" that we are really excited to see our baby, may not get to see it again until it comes out, and want to take a little time at least to look it over. He also sort of made fun of us for not finding out what the gender is and repeatedly said "oh come on, I know what it is, I could tell you . . ."

The second strike was that the baby was laying sideways, facing outward. This explains why I felt a lot of kicking movement to the side yesterday. But unfortunately, it was a terrible position to be able to get a cute profile shot. And, apparently, the baby was very interested in the prodding of the ultrasound, because every time the tech tried to get a sneak attack look at the profile, the baby would turn its head and look right at us. Let me tell you something, there is nothing creepier than a head-on ultrasound shot of a baby's face. No joke, it looked like it was wearing a halloween mask. If you looked closely, and sort of let your eyes relax like you're staring at a magic eye puzzle, you can sort of see lips and that makes it look a little more normal. Unfortunately, when the tech left the room, the freeze frame shot of the baby's face was left on the monitor. It creeped me out so badly that I couldn't look at it for the eternity it took for the doctor to come in. I guess I'll be giving birth to baby skeletor in the spring.

Lastly, when the tech left she said she would have the doctor come in and try to get a profile shot. I was excited and hopeful that we could get a better view. Unfortunately, the doctor I previously mentioned just came in, gave us a hard time about the gender, ran the ultrasound wand over my stomach quickly, and declared everything to be great. Then gave us the creepy skeletor photo. Joy.

But, on the bright side I am glad everything is going well. The baby was very active yesterday and it was cute to see arms and legs moving about. Guess the rest is just a waiting game.

Happy Halfway Point Marni!

20 weeks down, 20 to go. Even though you probably won't make it all the way to 40 weeks.

Please, Make Her Stop

Alright, this isn't pregnancy related, other than the fact the my hormones are causing me to be very bitchy today. But will Sarah Palin please do the world a favor and go away?!?!?! I want to turn on my tv to a Palin-free world where she isn't constantly on screen whining about how McCain's aides are "immature" and "jerks", and where I don't have to hear her deny, in Bush-like delusion, that her Katie Couric interview didn't hurt her or her image or the campaign. The woman is a very strange and small-minded narcissist. I can only hope that as the election fades into history that she will too.

I've said my piece.

Also, Jami, I think I have a contribution to make to your POAS fund - I will look for it!

Fertile Myrtle

So, I always had a feeling that I was very fertile and as soon as we started trying to have a baby it would happen. Joey and I were very careful before we started trying because we joke about me being fertile myrtle.  Yes, I did get pregnant the first time we tried but unfortunately we know how that ended.  Now, I'm having a very hard time coping with months of trying again and not getting pregnant.  I no longer think I'm fertile myrtle.  I wonder what is going wrong, what I'm doing wrong, what is wrong with my body. Logically I know it takes time, I've read the statistics that it can take many people up a year and that is considered a normal time frame. No one ever tells you it can be hard to trying to get pregnant.

There is an up side to these months of trying - the trying part. The worst part is the two week wait - its the time after you've done the deed until AF arrives or you get positive home pregnancy test - IT IS TORTURE!!! It is the longest two weeks ever and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. During those 2 weeks I (over)analyze every twinge and feeling in my body. I wonder if that little cramp could be implantation. I think about the excitement and anxiety I would feel if this was the month and the test came saying 'pregnant' again.

I also have to confess that I have become POASaholic - its an expensive habit! POAS is peeing on a stick- clear blue easy has been my brand of choice - I usually start 5 days before my missed period because the box says it can detect up to 5 days early. Of course I should start that early then right?! It stinks to keep getting those 'not pregnant' tests so I've decided to only buy a test once I'm a day or two past the time AF should have arrived. This is going to take will power!!!

Here's to hoping my two week wait torture is coming to an end sometime soon...........

First Little Kicks

Well, this baby must be real. And all this time I feared it might all just be in my head . . . my really powerful head that has the power to stop my period and grow my stomach beyond the bounds of my normal clothes. I have been waiting for this to happen and (I think) it finally has - the first little kicks (or ass-kicking punches) of our baby. When I first thought I felt something, I was at work on a phone call. As soon as I hung up I called Bobby to report and he was ecstatic and incredibly jealous. Since then, I feel things every now and again. Currently, we are on a trip through New England and I could feel a whole bunch of movement on a long lovely drive through Vermont. The baby must get excited when I feel relaxed! I am sure there will be a point in the near future when the baby is kicking the crap out of my ribs and making me curse those once cute little kicks, but for now I am really happy.

In other news, I can now report that I have some serious acid reflux issues. Last week it started and I thought it might just be stressed. But it hasn't stopped and now it wakes me up in the middle of the night, when I feel like it is just going to rise all the way up and out. (Gross, I know). I know carry tums in my purse. And the list of items I can safely eat has just shrunk another few notches. I think I am just down to mashed potatoes and ice cream. Boo to the downside of pregnancy.

Also, I am now only one week away from my anatomy ultrasound where, hopefully, we will find everything going well.