they say that with your second pregnancy, your belly just pouches out sooner and you get bigger earlier....
i can tell you that it is definitely true.
i absolutely do not look pregnant at all, just that my waist is expanding at alarming rates and none of my pants fit me- i can not button a single pair. i bet a lot of people at work were wondering why i was getting so fat! (until friday when i finally told them all i was pregnant!).
i went into the basement on friday to retrieve my maternity clothes, all clean and folded up neatly in large ziploc bags....
at the beginning of my last pregnancy, i was 20 pounds heavier than when i started this one. AND, since this pregnancy started, i have lost 4 pounds...(not sure why- im eating a ton and im not nauseaous at all!).
so, i started trying on my maternity clothes, and although this may sound nice to some people, everything is too big! it is really frustrating to have absolutely nothing to wear....BUT honestly, im also pretty happy with this finding too, because it means i really did lose weight....Now, instead of being unable to button my pants, im constantly pulling them up because they are falling down....and i think perhaps i look like im carrying something extra in the seat of my pants since they are hanging down so low....
i need to go shopping.....
abby- lets plan a date....(and anyone else who wants to come and be fashion consultants, you are all welcome to join too!).
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Congrats!!
Congratulations Marni, Jeff and Levi! Levi is a fantastic little boy and this new baby is very lucky to come into your family. How exciting that the Eaton Rd Clan is growing! Wiggle worm Turell and Be-boppin Botnick will be making their appearances only a day or so apart.......Cara looks like we're going to be busy that week!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Number 2- "fiffy-fiffy"
Do you see another little baby there underneath abby's floating baby?
yep...thats mine!
i cant believe im pregnant. im beyond happy.....and jeff and levi couldnt be happier either (although im not 100% sure levi truly understands)....
i found out i was pregnant on a friday. i took the test in the morning because i knew my mom was coming to visit that evening and i wanted to be able to share my good news....and it was positive! i woke jeff up jumping up and down. we were both ecstatic...
my mom arrived that evening with her friend nancy, and my mom was talking on the phone while i went to the freezer, took out a hot dog bun, and put it in the oven....when my mom got off the phone, i told her to go open the oven and asked her what was in there...she looked at me with a blank face and then started to guess.....a roll was her answer, i asked where it was and she said "on the rack". i tried for a few minutes to get her to alter the statement....she got to a bun on the rack, and finally, a bun in the oven.....she still didnt get it right away, and looked at me and finally it just hit her! she was so excited! a bun in the oven.....BUT, i wouldnt let her tell anyone since it was so early and i just wanted to make sure everything went ok....
all that evening, i just kept thinking- wow. abby and i are essentially on the same schedule, i wonder if she is pregnant. wouldnt that just be crazy.....it turns out- 1 day apart, exactly. she took her test (or should i say tests) one day after me, and her due date is one day after mine.....crazy and incredible, but so exciting!!!!
Why did I wait so long to tell you?
religious, superstitious, too much knowledge causing doctor nervousness reasons- all probably have some sort of bearing on why i didnt say anything until now.
as some of you know, i had gestational diabetes with levi's pregnancy.....and i was on insulin from 26 weeks onward. i also had pregnancy induced hypertension. and i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis about 1 year ago.....all problems that make this pregnancy high risk.....
so with this pregnancy, lots of extra caution has been taken. ive essentially seen a doctor every single week, alternating between OB and Endocrinologist. I am already on insulin, as when i started checking my blood sugars immediately after i found out i was pregnant (as instructed by both my OB and my endo) they were already abnormal.
so, maybe the fact that this pregnancy was even higher risk than my last one and because my doctors were being so cautious with me made me even more stressed and nervous.
BUT, today, i turn 13 weeks....
and today, i had a real ultrasound.
i saw a little baby with a head, arms, legs, beating heart, all moving around in my belly like a little wiggle worm!
so now im telling everyone! im spreading my joy and happiness with the whole world!!!!
at the beginning, we told levi there was a baby in mommy's belly. and he didnt say anything. then jeff and i were talking about whether or not we would find out the sex this time (we did not find out with levi and i just knew he was a girl- turns out i was wrong!), and we decided that we would not find out again. the surprise was so great last time....so, we were talking about how it was a "fifty-fifty" chance boy vs girl, and im not sure what else we said, but levi looked and us and said "fiffy-fiffy" and kissed my belly....
so, now the baby is known as "fiffy-fiffy"....and levi says night night to fiffy-fiffy every night and gives the baby in my belly kisses on a daily basis.....
he is going to be such a great big brother!!!!
yep...thats mine!
i cant believe im pregnant. im beyond happy.....and jeff and levi couldnt be happier either (although im not 100% sure levi truly understands)....
i found out i was pregnant on a friday. i took the test in the morning because i knew my mom was coming to visit that evening and i wanted to be able to share my good news....and it was positive! i woke jeff up jumping up and down. we were both ecstatic...
my mom arrived that evening with her friend nancy, and my mom was talking on the phone while i went to the freezer, took out a hot dog bun, and put it in the oven....when my mom got off the phone, i told her to go open the oven and asked her what was in there...she looked at me with a blank face and then started to guess.....a roll was her answer, i asked where it was and she said "on the rack". i tried for a few minutes to get her to alter the statement....she got to a bun on the rack, and finally, a bun in the oven.....she still didnt get it right away, and looked at me and finally it just hit her! she was so excited! a bun in the oven.....BUT, i wouldnt let her tell anyone since it was so early and i just wanted to make sure everything went ok....
all that evening, i just kept thinking- wow. abby and i are essentially on the same schedule, i wonder if she is pregnant. wouldnt that just be crazy.....it turns out- 1 day apart, exactly. she took her test (or should i say tests) one day after me, and her due date is one day after mine.....crazy and incredible, but so exciting!!!!
Why did I wait so long to tell you?
religious, superstitious, too much knowledge causing doctor nervousness reasons- all probably have some sort of bearing on why i didnt say anything until now.
as some of you know, i had gestational diabetes with levi's pregnancy.....and i was on insulin from 26 weeks onward. i also had pregnancy induced hypertension. and i was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis about 1 year ago.....all problems that make this pregnancy high risk.....
so with this pregnancy, lots of extra caution has been taken. ive essentially seen a doctor every single week, alternating between OB and Endocrinologist. I am already on insulin, as when i started checking my blood sugars immediately after i found out i was pregnant (as instructed by both my OB and my endo) they were already abnormal.
so, maybe the fact that this pregnancy was even higher risk than my last one and because my doctors were being so cautious with me made me even more stressed and nervous.
BUT, today, i turn 13 weeks....
and today, i had a real ultrasound.
i saw a little baby with a head, arms, legs, beating heart, all moving around in my belly like a little wiggle worm!
so now im telling everyone! im spreading my joy and happiness with the whole world!!!!
at the beginning, we told levi there was a baby in mommy's belly. and he didnt say anything. then jeff and i were talking about whether or not we would find out the sex this time (we did not find out with levi and i just knew he was a girl- turns out i was wrong!), and we decided that we would not find out again. the surprise was so great last time....so, we were talking about how it was a "fifty-fifty" chance boy vs girl, and im not sure what else we said, but levi looked and us and said "fiffy-fiffy" and kissed my belly....
so, now the baby is known as "fiffy-fiffy"....and levi says night night to fiffy-fiffy every night and gives the baby in my belly kisses on a daily basis.....
he is going to be such a great big brother!!!!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Birthday Fever
So here it is. I do NOT have baby fever, let me make that clear from the gun. I do, however, have something else and am unsure if it's just the tick of my biological clock, or possibly something else. My father-in-law harmlessly pointed out last week that my husband's 27th birthday is rapidly approaching. This sent me in a downward spiral of panic, 27? It can't be!? If Matt's birthday is looming, mine is right around the corner from his. Will these next several months fly? Will 27 smack me in the face like 24? (Yes, 24 was a difficult birthday for me, I faced the sad realization that I was one year away from 25 - antique in car years, quarter of a century old) 27 is only 3 years away from 30, do I have time to do everything I want, will I feel old (don't I already sometimes?) What is it that is so urgent for me about turning 27, why does that sound old? All of these thoughts pulsed through my brain in a matter of seconds, I could feel my face muscles quickly turning to panic....my father-in-law must have noticed. "What, it's not your birthday, why do you look so worried?" He's right, why do I look so worried, what's so wrong with turning 27? It hit me, I'm not getting any younger, I'm nearing my childbearing years (or well into them in many cultures) but something is missing....ah yes, the desire to have a child. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want children. I do, I really do, I plan on having them someday, when I'm ready. Which is the concern, what if I never feel ready?!? Is it okay that I'm nearing 27 and not ready for children? What if I hit 28, 29 or even 30 and I'm still not ready?
Monday, September 15, 2008
Practice round
So, I've been debating whether to blog about this or not because I don't want to be a downer but if we're having a baby fever website I think its important to talk about the amazing -having a baby - and the unexpected - a miscarriage. I would have been due April 17.
I took a home pregnancy test on a Thursday. It was the most exciting moment to look over and read the words PREGNANT. Then to run into the bedroom and wake Joey up with the good news was amazing. His response was 'My boys can swim!' We told our parents and siblings that day as well. I was on cloud nine. This could not have worked out any better - getting pregnant our first month trying and my blood sugars were close to the range of someone without diabetes for the past few weeks.
On a quick side note: For those who may not know, I have type 1 diabetes, I wear and insulin pump to control my blood sugars and check my blood sugar at least 10 times a day. I have been very anxious wondering how I could get my blood sugars to the near perfect range that I've been striving for the past 20 years. I'm close but not quite there. For someone without diabetes your blood sugar should be between 60-110 - this is the range a pregnant woman with type 1 diabetes is supposed to follow as well - how am I supposed to do that? The good news is it wasn't as hard as I thought - I think the baby syphoning sugar from my blood helped achieve this daunting goal.
I had my Hcg levels (pregnancy hormone level) drawn Friday - they definitely showed I was pregnant but I had to go Monday as well to make sure the level was doubling or tripling as it should every 2-3 days. Barely doubled. I had to go for another blood draw Wednesday - only went up a few points. Not a good sign. I was told to come into the office for an ultrasound because the doctor was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. The ultrasound showed it was not ectopic but there also was nothing in my uterus - still very early in the pregnancy so that was not surprising I was told. Another blood draw on Friday revealed my levels had dropped in half. I was devastated. The thought of having a miscarriage was not something I was worried about. I think my focus was on my blood sugars and I figured as long as I had that under control then everything would be okay. On Sunday I had the miscarriage. It happened naturally - no procedures needed which I was thankful for.
Numb, distraught, angry, confused, sad are a few of the emotions I was wrestling for the next several days. Why do teenage mothers or crack heads have unplanned pregnancies that don't end in a miscarriage? Why me? Was it something I did? I know the statistics are that 40% of first time pregnancies end in miscarriage but I'm not supposed to be in the 40%. I have to deal with a high risk pregnancy filled with blood sugar checks, carb counting, giving insulin, constant monitoring - why should I have to deal with this as well? I may not have even known I was pregnant if I wasn't needing to 'plan' so carefully due to having diabetes. I was really angry with my body at first - wondering what was wrong with me. I've decided my body did a good thing because there was a reason that baby didn't 'stick'. Its amazing how many times making a baby comes out right and will make me appreciate that even more when I have one I'm holding.
I'm doing much better now - I've come to terms with what has happened but still occasionally feel really sad when I think where I would be in my pregnancy - this would have been my 9th week.
That was our practice round - I'm excited to get back on the TTC (trying to conceive) wagon when its time.
I took a home pregnancy test on a Thursday. It was the most exciting moment to look over and read the words PREGNANT. Then to run into the bedroom and wake Joey up with the good news was amazing. His response was 'My boys can swim!' We told our parents and siblings that day as well. I was on cloud nine. This could not have worked out any better - getting pregnant our first month trying and my blood sugars were close to the range of someone without diabetes for the past few weeks.
On a quick side note: For those who may not know, I have type 1 diabetes, I wear and insulin pump to control my blood sugars and check my blood sugar at least 10 times a day. I have been very anxious wondering how I could get my blood sugars to the near perfect range that I've been striving for the past 20 years. I'm close but not quite there. For someone without diabetes your blood sugar should be between 60-110 - this is the range a pregnant woman with type 1 diabetes is supposed to follow as well - how am I supposed to do that? The good news is it wasn't as hard as I thought - I think the baby syphoning sugar from my blood helped achieve this daunting goal.
I had my Hcg levels (pregnancy hormone level) drawn Friday - they definitely showed I was pregnant but I had to go Monday as well to make sure the level was doubling or tripling as it should every 2-3 days. Barely doubled. I had to go for another blood draw Wednesday - only went up a few points. Not a good sign. I was told to come into the office for an ultrasound because the doctor was worried I may have an ectopic pregnancy. The ultrasound showed it was not ectopic but there also was nothing in my uterus - still very early in the pregnancy so that was not surprising I was told. Another blood draw on Friday revealed my levels had dropped in half. I was devastated. The thought of having a miscarriage was not something I was worried about. I think my focus was on my blood sugars and I figured as long as I had that under control then everything would be okay. On Sunday I had the miscarriage. It happened naturally - no procedures needed which I was thankful for.
Numb, distraught, angry, confused, sad are a few of the emotions I was wrestling for the next several days. Why do teenage mothers or crack heads have unplanned pregnancies that don't end in a miscarriage? Why me? Was it something I did? I know the statistics are that 40% of first time pregnancies end in miscarriage but I'm not supposed to be in the 40%. I have to deal with a high risk pregnancy filled with blood sugar checks, carb counting, giving insulin, constant monitoring - why should I have to deal with this as well? I may not have even known I was pregnant if I wasn't needing to 'plan' so carefully due to having diabetes. I was really angry with my body at first - wondering what was wrong with me. I've decided my body did a good thing because there was a reason that baby didn't 'stick'. Its amazing how many times making a baby comes out right and will make me appreciate that even more when I have one I'm holding.
I'm doing much better now - I've come to terms with what has happened but still occasionally feel really sad when I think where I would be in my pregnancy - this would have been my 9th week.
That was our practice round - I'm excited to get back on the TTC (trying to conceive) wagon when its time.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Coca-Cola Saved My Life
Well, I never thought this would happen. I am a Coke drinker.
As a general rule, I don't drink pop (soda . . whatever). I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to waste the calories and rot my teeth. On rare occassions, I will drink an orange pop or a sprite, but NEVER a cola drink. I hate cola. It's gross. EXCEPT when it is the only thing that stops my nausea in its tracks. Then I love it. A lot.
Thanks to Laura who told me that nursing a warm, flat, Coke can be a lifesaver. I decided to give it a try when nothing else worked and it has become my remedy of choice in the last week and a half. Each afternoon at work, I buy a small bottle of coke and shake it bunch to get it as flat as possible. Then I pour small amounts into a cup at a time and sip it throughout the rest of the day and in the evening if necessary. I still don't really enjoy it, and it leaves my mouth feeling yucky, but it is sooo much better than the churning feeling. Woo Hoo! I almost feel like myself.
In other news, my sister is having her bachelorette party this weekend, and guess who gets to play designated driver to silly drunk girls in their early 20s? You guessed it, the pregnant sister of the bride! I don't care, as long as nobody minds ending the party by 10pm so I can go lay down.
As a general rule, I don't drink pop (soda . . whatever). I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to waste the calories and rot my teeth. On rare occassions, I will drink an orange pop or a sprite, but NEVER a cola drink. I hate cola. It's gross. EXCEPT when it is the only thing that stops my nausea in its tracks. Then I love it. A lot.
Thanks to Laura who told me that nursing a warm, flat, Coke can be a lifesaver. I decided to give it a try when nothing else worked and it has become my remedy of choice in the last week and a half. Each afternoon at work, I buy a small bottle of coke and shake it bunch to get it as flat as possible. Then I pour small amounts into a cup at a time and sip it throughout the rest of the day and in the evening if necessary. I still don't really enjoy it, and it leaves my mouth feeling yucky, but it is sooo much better than the churning feeling. Woo Hoo! I almost feel like myself.
In other news, my sister is having her bachelorette party this weekend, and guess who gets to play designated driver to silly drunk girls in their early 20s? You guessed it, the pregnant sister of the bride! I don't care, as long as nobody minds ending the party by 10pm so I can go lay down.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Congrats!
Congrats to Abby and Bobby - we're so happy for you and can't wait to meet peanut Botnick in a 216 days......
Hang in there Abby - it is all for a great cause and you won't even remember these days of misery when you're snuggling with your bundle of joy!
Hang in there Abby - it is all for a great cause and you won't even remember these days of misery when you're snuggling with your bundle of joy!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Quick Anecdote
So I have heard about a woman's braing acting weird during pregnancy and I think mine has begun.
The other day, I left my office and walked to the elevator bank to hop on an elevator and leave for the day. I waited, and waited, and waited and it never showed. I was getting really irritated until I realized that instead of pressing the elevator call button, I had been pressing the unlock button for my car on my key fob. Luckily, no one was around to witness my idiocy!
Oh, and check out the floating baby ticker now - thankfully it doesn't look so creepy anymore. And by the way, I think it's amazing that something the size of a green olive can look so much like a person!
The other day, I left my office and walked to the elevator bank to hop on an elevator and leave for the day. I waited, and waited, and waited and it never showed. I was getting really irritated until I realized that instead of pressing the elevator call button, I had been pressing the unlock button for my car on my key fob. Luckily, no one was around to witness my idiocy!
Oh, and check out the floating baby ticker now - thankfully it doesn't look so creepy anymore. And by the way, I think it's amazing that something the size of a green olive can look so much like a person!
Hello . . . Is There Anybody In There . . ?
Frustrations abound.
While I realize that everything that is happening to my body is for a good, natural, and healthy purpose, I can't help but feel like I have some terrible, ever-lasting illness that is destroying my me. If it were just exhaustion, I could deal. If I just felt a little sick, I would understand. If I only had indigestion after eating spicy meals that would make sense. But its all of them, and more, and after I eat anything.
I was looking forward to this past holiday weekend. Three day weekends are like a lush oasis in a sea of work, work, work. For me, this weekend was good because it provided me plenty of time to lie around - in bed, on the couch, on the other couch, on the basement couch (you get the point). But this weekend was also bad because I did not enjoy it, strike that, could not enjoy it. Each morning brought a fleeting few hours of "feeling good" while I tried to accomplish something useful before late morning and afternoon ickiness set in. Each meal brought the promise of indigestion that left me feeling thoroughly sickened by even the most benign foods - crackers, flat warm coke, etc. And each evening brought with it waves of nausea and flushed skin that, at times, made me completely break down into sobs. I would shower, but didn't feel like doing my hair. I would try to distract myself with movies but felt stir crazy.
A nice break was when we got to go to my mom's for dinner on Saturday night. I was jonesing for her mashed potatoes and meatloaf and she was happy to make it for me. I love love love her mashed potatotes. But nothing in that meal loved me. I was sick the rest of the night and barely able to sleep. It wasn't the food's fault, it was this little peanut wreaking havoc on my system.
The only time I actually did anything the whole weekend was Monday morning. See, two weeks ago when I was still feeling fine we made plans to bike on the towpath with some friends. I was really excited at the time - but not so excited Sunday night when I was in my second crying breakdown for the weekend. But, come Monday morning I started my day as usual - with the precious hours of feeling relatively normal. This gave me the energy to dress and go biking. I really did enjoy it. Until about 1pm when I started to feel sick while we were still 4 miles from the car. It is really strange to bike nauseous. Luckily, I made it and rewarded myself with lunch at the Winking Lizard, which then proceeded to give me indigestion and more nausea (sensing a pattern?)
So far, my peanut has not caused me to show, and I certainly can't feel it moving around yet. Sometimes I wonder . . . is anybody really in there? Is a person actually growing in me? I look forward to seeing and feeling the result of all the hard times I have been trudging through. Maybe then it will feel more like a good thing and less like an illness. Hang tight little peanut, hang tight.
While I realize that everything that is happening to my body is for a good, natural, and healthy purpose, I can't help but feel like I have some terrible, ever-lasting illness that is destroying my me. If it were just exhaustion, I could deal. If I just felt a little sick, I would understand. If I only had indigestion after eating spicy meals that would make sense. But its all of them, and more, and after I eat anything.
I was looking forward to this past holiday weekend. Three day weekends are like a lush oasis in a sea of work, work, work. For me, this weekend was good because it provided me plenty of time to lie around - in bed, on the couch, on the other couch, on the basement couch (you get the point). But this weekend was also bad because I did not enjoy it, strike that, could not enjoy it. Each morning brought a fleeting few hours of "feeling good" while I tried to accomplish something useful before late morning and afternoon ickiness set in. Each meal brought the promise of indigestion that left me feeling thoroughly sickened by even the most benign foods - crackers, flat warm coke, etc. And each evening brought with it waves of nausea and flushed skin that, at times, made me completely break down into sobs. I would shower, but didn't feel like doing my hair. I would try to distract myself with movies but felt stir crazy.
A nice break was when we got to go to my mom's for dinner on Saturday night. I was jonesing for her mashed potatoes and meatloaf and she was happy to make it for me. I love love love her mashed potatotes. But nothing in that meal loved me. I was sick the rest of the night and barely able to sleep. It wasn't the food's fault, it was this little peanut wreaking havoc on my system.
The only time I actually did anything the whole weekend was Monday morning. See, two weeks ago when I was still feeling fine we made plans to bike on the towpath with some friends. I was really excited at the time - but not so excited Sunday night when I was in my second crying breakdown for the weekend. But, come Monday morning I started my day as usual - with the precious hours of feeling relatively normal. This gave me the energy to dress and go biking. I really did enjoy it. Until about 1pm when I started to feel sick while we were still 4 miles from the car. It is really strange to bike nauseous. Luckily, I made it and rewarded myself with lunch at the Winking Lizard, which then proceeded to give me indigestion and more nausea (sensing a pattern?)
So far, my peanut has not caused me to show, and I certainly can't feel it moving around yet. Sometimes I wonder . . . is anybody really in there? Is a person actually growing in me? I look forward to seeing and feeling the result of all the hard times I have been trudging through. Maybe then it will feel more like a good thing and less like an illness. Hang tight little peanut, hang tight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
