Fertile Myrtle

So, I always had a feeling that I was very fertile and as soon as we started trying to have a baby it would happen. Joey and I were very careful before we started trying because we joke about me being fertile myrtle.  Yes, I did get pregnant the first time we tried but unfortunately we know how that ended.  Now, I'm having a very hard time coping with months of trying again and not getting pregnant.  I no longer think I'm fertile myrtle.  I wonder what is going wrong, what I'm doing wrong, what is wrong with my body. Logically I know it takes time, I've read the statistics that it can take many people up a year and that is considered a normal time frame. No one ever tells you it can be hard to trying to get pregnant.

There is an up side to these months of trying - the trying part. The worst part is the two week wait - its the time after you've done the deed until AF arrives or you get positive home pregnancy test - IT IS TORTURE!!! It is the longest two weeks ever and there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. During those 2 weeks I (over)analyze every twinge and feeling in my body. I wonder if that little cramp could be implantation. I think about the excitement and anxiety I would feel if this was the month and the test came saying 'pregnant' again.

I also have to confess that I have become POASaholic - its an expensive habit! POAS is peeing on a stick- clear blue easy has been my brand of choice - I usually start 5 days before my missed period because the box says it can detect up to 5 days early. Of course I should start that early then right?! It stinks to keep getting those 'not pregnant' tests so I've decided to only buy a test once I'm a day or two past the time AF should have arrived. This is going to take will power!!!

Here's to hoping my two week wait torture is coming to an end sometime soon...........