A Trial Lawyer's Life

So Saturday we leave for California and I am excited!!!  The question remains however, we will return from Cali with something more than good memories and plenty of wine?  I don't know.  I depends on if I get the guts, if I can get over my weight gain fear, if I can just accept that I didn't lost the weight I wanted, and if I can just generally wrap my mind around having something growing inside of me . . . in a good way.  My thoughts are further complicated by what I am going through this week.  My firm sent me to a trial advocacy institute, which is a nice way of saying 10 hours a day of learning and practicing trial techniques, performing examinations of witnesses, drilling the fundamentals of exhibit usage, and working up a case to put on a complete trial on Friday; plus, additional homework in the evenings.  Besides making me better advocate, this institute has really driven home for me the commitment my job takes.  I have not been able to vacuum, do dishes, weed the flower beds, or do any other household chores this week.  I have also been unable to relax, spend quality time with my husband, check my e-mail or sleep enough.  Now, not every week will be this hectic, but the life of a litigator is stressful and busy, filled with deadlines, seemingly endless work, and pressures from opponents, clients, and an inner drive to do the job right.  Thinking about adding a child into that mix is daunting.  I really wonder how balancing work and home can happen in a way that everyone - me, Bobby, baby, law firm, can live with.  Well, I guess I'll just keep pondering. Hopefully I can get off this fence someday, since it's starting to chafe my ass.