Talk About Anticlimactic

Perhaps it's time I officially post about my pregnancy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, err, just ladies, the baby fever heckler is expecting!! Sorry for the anticlimactic announcement, I know my floating ticker countdown thing-a-majig has been happily floating away for about 6 or 8 weeks now, so I thought it was time to show my face. I've been meaning to post, but first it was the feelings of disgustingness and vomit city (much like Abby has been experiencing) that kept me from posting. Then it was the exhaustion and holiday craziness. Then a bout with that crazy 4 week long cold everyone seems to be coming down with. But now, I'm back, feeling better than ever, or about as good as a pregnant gal can feel and ready to blog!!

And a side note to Abby, hang in there, you're almost to that magic point!!

Every Day Is A Struggle

I am seriously just marking time here. Here is my daily schedule - wake up, feel sort of ok. Eat something light and bland for breakfast. Feel sick. Take a pill. Still feel sick. Put on something, anything to wear to work, no matter how shitty I look. Drive to work. Still sick. Try to work amidst stacks of backlogged assignments, all the while feeling lower than miserable. Eat lunch - doesn't matter what - feel sick some more. Indigestion. Indigestion. Indigestion. Dizzy spell, time to go home. Arrive home. Immediately put on something comfortable. Get into bed. Stay in bed feeling miserable until I fall asleep somewhere around 8pm. If I am feeling less worse, sometimes I help with bath time. I don't know why it feels worse this time. My guess is because I have more responsibilities. Also, maybe because I felt sick about 2 weeks earlier this time. I have a prescription for an anti-nausea medication, but it doesn't stop indigestion sickness, exhaustion, hot flashes, or other issues. Tomorrow is 10 weeks and I just can't wait to see the end of this trimester.

Oh, as an aside, happy belated halfway point Cara!!

I Feel So Gross . . .

Ugh, I just can't take it anymore. If I don't eat soon enough, I feel sick. Then, after eating the food just sits there in my stomach and I feel sick. It feels like time is going so slowly right now and I am losing my mind. Nothing helps except just sleeping through it. If only I could take a few weeks off work and just stay in bed all day until the symptoms go away. Can I get one of those medically-induced comas for first trimester?

Sorry for the Anticlimactic Announcement

I guess my brain really is not on track. I guess my last post already announced it, but we're expecting again! See my last post for my current feelings on the subject. Sorry my baby ticker looks creepy.

I Remember Why I Hate This

Silly me. I can't believe I was foolish or hopeful enough to think that I might escape the worst of early pregnancy symptoms my second time around. Instead, I am descending into my own personal hell one level at a time. First, it was bloating, then came an overwhelming sense of smell. Recently, the sick, sour stomach feeling has appeared. Now, I don't know how I am going to get through the next several weeks. I am miserable, miserable, miserable. I can't remember how I managed to do it last time. I think I really did a tremendous job blocking it all out of my memory. Forgetting is clearly the only explanation for how I could be willing to do this again.

In another news, I went for an ultrasound today because I started having spotting out of nowhere. Luckily, everything looked great and I got to see the heart beating.

I'm ready to move onto the second trimester now . . .

Nerdy Nerdyson and a Cautionary Tale

So, I love to be organized. I make lists at work, and charts to keep track of my cases. I also developed a case management system for my office to keep us all on the same page. So, naturally, I love tracking ovulation and keeping the information together as part of our family planning. Last fall, I started keeping track again so that I could be prepared and familiar with my cycle if we decided to have another child. I don't know if everyone does it, but I think keeping track really helps you become more in tune with your body, which will tell you the optimal time if you listen to it.

Until I have exciting news to report, let me leave you with a an anecdote. Picture this, you have two children under the age of 3. Your second child (who was 6 weeks premature and spent it's early weeks in the hospital) is only a couple months old when you get pregnant with a third child, who will be due before your second child turns one. On top of that, your oldest child is not yet potty trained. And, you are working full time while going to school. Are you ready to shoot yourself yet? That, my friends, is the story of a relative of mine. When asked why they decided to do this, my relative replied that it was an accident. People, let's be honest, you don't get pregnant by accident at that point unless you're stupid or are willingly and knowingly engaging in procreatively risky behavior. I don't buy that this was a rare case of total birth control failure despite extremely careful usage.

My Peanut Has A First Name, It's E-L-L-I-O-T

Baby fever? Baby fever? Jami poses an interesting question. I just don't know the answer. Look at this little peanut, how can I top him? We have had rounds and rounds of conversations lately on the idea of family planning. Main topic of conversation - are we going to add any more, or stay a happy family of three? Neither of us have an answer at this moment. Frankly, I don't know if I have the resources - time, energy, money - to commit to another person. If we just had Elliot, would that be so bad? Heck no! And I feel like I wouldn't have to short change him on anything in this uncertain economy, where I am trying to grow a career while growing my family. Sure, I've already suffered the unenlightened "Well, you don't want to have an only child do you? DO YOU? They are messed up" type of statements, but I brush them off. I can read and I have and it seems to me that actual research-based information demonstrates that there really is no difference, except that single children may outperform academically.

I have to be practical about this situation. Having a newborn is great, but regardless of how many kids I decide to have they will always grow out of the newborn phase and there will always be a last time. Last time to swaddle. Last time to nurse. Last time to fold tiny onesies. That might be the hardest concept for me to grasp - if we only have Elliot, then so many of my firsts were also my lasts.

If I had to make a wager, I would guess that Elliot will have a sibling. Whatever we decide to do, I know I will continue to feel ambivalent until the last second, and, let's face it, even after my choice is made.