I Feel So Gross . . .

Ugh, I just can't take it anymore. If I don't eat soon enough, I feel sick. Then, after eating the food just sits there in my stomach and I feel sick. It feels like time is going so slowly right now and I am losing my mind. Nothing helps except just sleeping through it. If only I could take a few weeks off work and just stay in bed all day until the symptoms go away. Can I get one of those medically-induced comas for first trimester?

Sorry for the Anticlimactic Announcement

I guess my brain really is not on track. I guess my last post already announced it, but we're expecting again! See my last post for my current feelings on the subject. Sorry my baby ticker looks creepy.

I Remember Why I Hate This

Silly me. I can't believe I was foolish or hopeful enough to think that I might escape the worst of early pregnancy symptoms my second time around. Instead, I am descending into my own personal hell one level at a time. First, it was bloating, then came an overwhelming sense of smell. Recently, the sick, sour stomach feeling has appeared. Now, I don't know how I am going to get through the next several weeks. I am miserable, miserable, miserable. I can't remember how I managed to do it last time. I think I really did a tremendous job blocking it all out of my memory. Forgetting is clearly the only explanation for how I could be willing to do this again.

In another news, I went for an ultrasound today because I started having spotting out of nowhere. Luckily, everything looked great and I got to see the heart beating.

I'm ready to move onto the second trimester now . . .

Nerdy Nerdyson and a Cautionary Tale

So, I love to be organized. I make lists at work, and charts to keep track of my cases. I also developed a case management system for my office to keep us all on the same page. So, naturally, I love tracking ovulation and keeping the information together as part of our family planning. Last fall, I started keeping track again so that I could be prepared and familiar with my cycle if we decided to have another child. I don't know if everyone does it, but I think keeping track really helps you become more in tune with your body, which will tell you the optimal time if you listen to it.

Until I have exciting news to report, let me leave you with a an anecdote. Picture this, you have two children under the age of 3. Your second child (who was 6 weeks premature and spent it's early weeks in the hospital) is only a couple months old when you get pregnant with a third child, who will be due before your second child turns one. On top of that, your oldest child is not yet potty trained. And, you are working full time while going to school. Are you ready to shoot yourself yet? That, my friends, is the story of a relative of mine. When asked why they decided to do this, my relative replied that it was an accident. People, let's be honest, you don't get pregnant by accident at that point unless you're stupid or are willingly and knowingly engaging in procreatively risky behavior. I don't buy that this was a rare case of total birth control failure despite extremely careful usage.

My Peanut Has A First Name, It's E-L-L-I-O-T

Baby fever? Baby fever? Jami poses an interesting question. I just don't know the answer. Look at this little peanut, how can I top him? We have had rounds and rounds of conversations lately on the idea of family planning. Main topic of conversation - are we going to add any more, or stay a happy family of three? Neither of us have an answer at this moment. Frankly, I don't know if I have the resources - time, energy, money - to commit to another person. If we just had Elliot, would that be so bad? Heck no! And I feel like I wouldn't have to short change him on anything in this uncertain economy, where I am trying to grow a career while growing my family. Sure, I've already suffered the unenlightened "Well, you don't want to have an only child do you? DO YOU? They are messed up" type of statements, but I brush them off. I can read and I have and it seems to me that actual research-based information demonstrates that there really is no difference, except that single children may outperform academically.

I have to be practical about this situation. Having a newborn is great, but regardless of how many kids I decide to have they will always grow out of the newborn phase and there will always be a last time. Last time to swaddle. Last time to nurse. Last time to fold tiny onesies. That might be the hardest concept for me to grasp - if we only have Elliot, then so many of my firsts were also my lasts.

If I had to make a wager, I would guess that Elliot will have a sibling. Whatever we decide to do, I know I will continue to feel ambivalent until the last second, and, let's face it, even after my choice is made.

low grade fever

The past 14 months (well really almost 2 years if you include the time I was pregnant) have been the most incredible, invigorating, trying, difficult, and pure joy I've ever felt. I had no idea what it would be like to bring a new little baby into this world but I have loved (almost) every second getting to know my little man. He amazes me all the time. I still cannot get over the fact that he grew in my belly! Some days I have no idea how I made it through the day and even though I feel like that I officially have baby fever again!

I'm wondering if I am letting myself have this overwhelming urge to grow another baby in my belly now because I know Joey is not ready so it most likely will not happen in the next few months. All I know is I'm starting to look in the mirror and stick my belly out again to reminensce about being preggo. I am absolutely ready for the next little one (moments when Jackson's laugh fills me with joy) and at the same moment not ready at all.

I'm looking to make a career move and I hate that that is impacting my "family planning". I will hopefully know in a month whether or not I will start a new job venture in January and then I can focus on the baby fever or take some tylenol to get "rid" of it for now.

At least lots of friends are having little bundles of joy so I can get my cuddle time in with a baby and still get to sleep through the night :)

Anyone else have baby fever right now?

how indecent

this is one of the best posts ive read in a while......the pictoral comparison about the "indecency" of breast feeding in public to the accepted nudity in everyday advertising.
ENJOY!!!!