Four Weeks Eek!

36 weeks today. 9 months. Only four weeks remain. Although, I have a strong feeling this baby is coming earlier (as does Bobby, my mom, and my sister - all independently concluded). I don't know why, but I feel like I won't make it to my due date this time. With Elliot, I just knew I would be late and, if I hadn't been induced, I am sure I would have. But this time I just keep thinking it's going to pop out any day. In any event, I am more than ready to move on to the next chapter, especially since I am extremely uncomfortable.

What I am worried about this time around is just going into labor. Last time, I had the nice experience of being induced, which let me go into the hospital in a relaxed way and slowly get into the process. This time, there is no indication that I will be induced so it looks like I will just have to wait on pins and needles for it to happen. I don't like that idea one bit. The main reason I don't is because I have this fear that I will be involved in a mad dash to get to the hospital on time while in raging contractions. I have this fear because it happened with my mom and aunt with their second kids. I also have this fear because of how fast my labor moved last time. I was just reading over my birth story and it reminded me that in one hour I went from 4cm to 8cm. And then in just TWO contractions I went from 8cm to 10cm and the baby was coming down fast, born just less than 30 minutes later. Yikes! That was all well and good when I was already at the hospital, but if I have to labor at home this time I might be having a baby in the car! Hopefully this is just a fear that won't really happen. If I could order a start to labor, it would just begin with my water breaking and no major contractions so that I could just go to the hospital, get admitted, get my epidural, and settle in until push time. We'll see how that goes.

Preparations for Elliot are going well and I think he is getting really excited. He likes to tell me about all the toys he is going to share with the baby and how they will play ball, etc. Let's hope it goes so well once there is a real live baby here.

4 weeks (or maybe less) and we'll have a new family member!

8 Weeks Remain Folks!

I have been so busy at home and at work I have really not had much time to pay attention to the fact that I'm pregnant! Work is busy as ever and I am really feeling wiped out by the time I leave for the day which, of course, is when my other full time job of being "mom" picks back up with no rest for the weary. At home we have several projects inside and out we are tackling, as well as moving Elliot to his new room and new bed and dealing with some periodic unpleasant changes to his behavior. Sigh.

In that vein, terrible twos should be called something else. On one hand, they're great. He's extremely verbal and very funny and loves to help with household tasks and show us how he can do things all by himself. On the other hand, I think he is sometimes a pod person who likes to defy what I say just for kicks and enjoys melting down in Macy's because I won't let him bang on a cool glass table that makes a really fun and loud noise when it is struck. So, maybe it should be pre-adolescence, or the "preview" twos. Challenging, trying, funny, heartbreaking, inspiring, and frustrating, yep. Terrible, I'll reserve judgment on that for now.

Meanwhile, pregnancy has made everything really difficult at this point. It is just so damn hard to come home and deal with all the physical stuff of having a toddler while shuffling and limping because A: I'm tired as hell, and B: I am in so much pain. What was an inconvenient and almost "cute" quirk of my last trimester with Elliot has been a nightmare with the second pregnancy. I developed pelvic pain early on which, coupled with muscle inflammation due to an unstable pelvis, pretty much makes doing anything - walking, laying, rolling over and getting up - really painful. Since I like to consider myself someone who just "powers through" that's what I've done. But it is getting worse all the time and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take our nightly family walk. We used to go a couple of miles, now going to the end of the street is a once-a-week kind of occurrence. We did that tonight and as I sit here it feels like I am breaking in two. I don't think I could ever be pregnant again because my leg might just fall off. In Target the other day I was incredibly tempted to just hop on one of those scooters . . . I really was.

Oh one more thing. So Elliot has really come to love looking at my belly and hugging it, asking me "Is that my baby in there?" He also loves to blow zerberts on it. This is all very cute and lovable - at home. But the other day we were in a store and he apparently wanted to see the baby and my bellybutton (which he loves because it popped out). I was so distracted trying to find what I was looking for on the shelf that I didn't even realize that he was lifting up my shirt until I heard a "BBBBrrrrraaaappppp" coming from my midsection. It sounded like a super loud fart and my stretch marks were out there for everyone looking. Classy. Elliot thought it was hilarious.

you can take a girl out of eaton rd, but you cant take eaton rd out of the girl

i miss my neighbors. i miss my friends. i miss waving hello on my way to work in the morning. i miss bumping into everyone on our nightly after dinner walk. i miss the feel of the little friendly university heights street where i came to meet the best friends around. i feel far away, lost, not up on the hustle and bustle of life, distant and lonely.
eaton rd will always be part of me. its where i made my friends. its where i lived when my kids were born. its where they started their lives and development. its where i will always feel i'm home.
i live 2 miles away, yet it seems so far. 2 miles, to a better school district with a better pool (understatement), but without the sense of belonging we had before. dont get me wrong- we LOVE our new house (wet basement, disaster of a yard/landscaping and all). we know it was the right decision for us. but, eaton rd will always be home.
this blog started as a baby fever blog. and look how much has changed! gosh- ive had two kids. jami and cara each have 1 (so far), and abby is on the way to two. maybe its that once baby fever is over, thats when we leave our comfy little eaton rd home?
i dont have baby fever. its gone.
i want to go to cara's today to cuddle with liam. i want to hold and play with little babies, yet give them back when diapers need changing. and i want to sleep all night, uninterrupted.
am i selfish? maybe.....but ive been there and done it all myself too. and now, im psyched that my kids can tell me what they want with words. im psyched that it appears we may no longer need to buy diapers (dont quote me on that one yet. its only been 1.5 weeks!). im psyched that levi and i can go on "dates" and stay up late cuddling and watching movies, and he can have sleepovers with his grandmas and his friends. i love sleeping all night, although i could do without the 6:30am wake-up calls even on weekends....life is great. i can't complain.
but now you'll understand why you may see me on eaton rd, wandering up and down the street, even though i no longer live there. i miss it and i miss you, my friends. but im just a little ways away. lets not let our friendship change at all.

Third Trimester!

Ahhhh, only 12 weeks left. This time during the pregnancy with Elliot it was freezing cold and snowing. Today, it's 90 degrees outside and 80 degrees in my office (damn corner office with tons of windows). A bit of a change but I'll take it because it's light out until late and I can park myself at the pool all summer.

Of course, the time left makes me reflect on all of the things I have yet to do. Such as, get Elliot's new room set up, get Elliot sleeping in a new bed, fix the garage, fix the deck, kitchen, etc. The list seems to go on forever. I have so much to do, in fact, that it's been hard to even think of being pregnant, except for the aches, pains, and heartburn. Zoloft, anyone?

Nothing new to report, but I am happy to say that my glucose tolerance test was acceptable so I don't have to take the 3 hour test this time. The only issue I am waiting to see about now is my blood pressure. It was a little higher at my last visit, and then higher still at a recent physical therapy appointment, but the jury's still out. Frankly, I'll trade a bit of high blood pressure if it means I get to be induced again. Chalk it up to the control freak part of me, but I like knowing when I have to be at the hospital and I like have the house cleaned beforehand. Also, this time it will be nice to be able to make arrangements for Elliot in advance. Bring it on!

Past the Halfway Point

I meant to post this last week which was my halfway point, but frankly I was just too lazy. Somehow 21 weeks doesn't sound as exciting. I guess this pregnancy is legally able to drink now, hooray! If only I could have a glass of wine. It feels good to be on this side. I can finally help with dinner, eat with the family, and put Elliot to bed. I can even clean the house again, which is nice because Elliot was finding dog hair and brining it to me saying "Here you go mommy, this is yuck." It's not all wonderful - my feet are already swelling and my pelvic pain is already present, but it's so much better than constant nausea. We had our anatomy ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and everything looks great. The baby has a face and all of its appendages, so that's a good start. Gender is still a mystery. I wanted to know, but the baby wouldn't cooperate. Dr. X did the ultrasound, and yes, he's still a jerk. He repeatedly jiggled my belly, commanding the baby to cooperate until I finally just blurted out "forget it" because the alternative would have been to punch him in the face. Even Bobby, who is usually incredibly laid back, thought it was a bit much. Looking forward to summer - planting flowers, taking long walks, and beaching myself at the pool. Woohoo!

Fatty Fat

Oh, by the way. I feel like a total cow. I was laughing the other day when I caught myself in the car window and saw not one, but two chins. I almost barfed. Also, stretch marks are super uncute when activated by the hormones of a second pregnancy. Trust me.

Momma Said Knock You Out, Flu Gonna Knock You Out

Just when I was starting to feel better, it was time for a reminder of how bad life can feel. It started on Monday afternoon. A little tickle in the back of my throat, coughing some, then some more. By evening I was quite sure I was sick. Tuesday morning, still coughing now with some aches and a pounding headache. With my cough being worse, I decided to stay home and spare my co-workers. By that evening, I was wreck. Wednesday felt like a truck was dragging my body. I felt feverish, with chills and aches. I took 5 hot showers and 3 warm baths during the day and evening to try and feel better. Bobby, being knocked out with me, took turns with me to pick up Elliot and re-stock our tissues and juice. We layed in bed miserable together. Then Thursday came, and Friday. We finally started to feel human again when Elliot started with the same symptoms. A weekend of trying to care for an ill toddler with both of us ill was really hard. Thankfully, my mom came over for reinforcements.

Fast forward two weeks later and I am finally shaking my cough. Elliot is still dealing with his symptoms.

I don't know what this was. I don't know if it was the flu or just the worst cold I have ever had. Hopefully, I am done for the year now.

In other news, I have felt all kinds of squiggles and wiggles for the past several weeks so I guess I really do have a baby. Next up - anatomy ultrasound. The big question is - do we find out, or don't we?