baby fever on eaton rd

Four Weeks Eek!

2011-07-26T22:37:00.002-04:00

36 weeks today. 9 months. Only four weeks remain. Although, I have a strong feeling this baby is coming earlier (as does Bobby, my mom, and my sister - all independently concluded). I don't know why, but I feel like I won't make it to my due date this time. With Elliot, I just knew I would be late and, if I hadn't been induced, I am sure I would have. But this time I just keep thinking it's going to pop out any day. In any event, I am more than ready to move on to the next chapter, especially since I am extremely uncomfortable.

What I am worried about this time around is just going into labor. Last time, I had the nice experience of being induced, which let me go into the hospital in a relaxed way and slowly get into the process. This time, there is no indication that I will be induced so it looks like I will just have to wait on pins and needles for it to happen. I don't like that idea one bit. The main reason I don't is because I have this fear that I will be involved in a mad dash to get to the hospital on time while in raging contractions. I have this fear because it happened with my mom and aunt with their second kids. I also have this fear because of how fast my labor moved last time. I was just reading over my birth story and it reminded me that in one hour I went from 4cm to 8cm. And then in just TWO contractions I went from 8cm to 10cm and the baby was coming down fast, born just less than 30 minutes later. Yikes! That was all well and good when I was already at the hospital, but if I have to labor at home this time I might be having a baby in the car! Hopefully this is just a fear that won't really happen. If I could order a start to labor, it would just begin with my water breaking and no major contractions so that I could just go to the hospital, get admitted, get my epidural, and settle in until push time. We'll see how that goes.

Preparations for Elliot are going well and I think he is getting really excited. He likes to tell me about all the toys he is going to share with the baby and how they will play ball, etc. Let's hope it goes so well once there is a real live baby here.

4 weeks (or maybe less) and we'll have a new family member!

8 Weeks Remain Folks!

2011-06-27T22:33:00.003-04:00

I have been so busy at home and at work I have really not had much time to pay attention to the fact that I'm pregnant! Work is busy as ever and I am really feeling wiped out by the time I leave for the day which, of course, is when my other full time job of being "mom" picks back up with no rest for the weary. At home we have several projects inside and out we are tackling, as well as moving Elliot to his new room and new bed and dealing with some periodic unpleasant changes to his behavior. Sigh.

In that vein, terrible twos should be called something else. On one hand, they're great. He's extremely verbal and very funny and loves to help with household tasks and show us how he can do things all by himself. On the other hand, I think he is sometimes a pod person who likes to defy what I say just for kicks and enjoys melting down in Macy's because I won't let him bang on a cool glass table that makes a really fun and loud noise when it is struck. So, maybe it should be pre-adolescence, or the "preview" twos. Challenging, trying, funny, heartbreaking, inspiring, and frustrating, yep. Terrible, I'll reserve judgment on that for now.

Meanwhile, pregnancy has made everything really difficult at this point. It is just so damn hard to come home and deal with all the physical stuff of having a toddler while shuffling and limping because A: I'm tired as hell, and B: I am in so much pain. What was an inconvenient and almost "cute" quirk of my last trimester with Elliot has been a nightmare with the second pregnancy. I developed pelvic pain early on which, coupled with muscle inflammation due to an unstable pelvis, pretty much makes doing anything - walking, laying, rolling over and getting up - really painful. Since I like to consider myself someone who just "powers through" that's what I've done. But it is getting worse all the time and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take our nightly family walk. We used to go a couple of miles, now going to the end of the street is a once-a-week kind of occurrence. We did that tonight and as I sit here it feels like I am breaking in two. I don't think I could ever be pregnant again because my leg might just fall off. In Target the other day I was incredibly tempted to just hop on one of those scooters . . . I really was.

Oh one more thing. So Elliot has really come to love looking at my belly and hugging it, asking me "Is that my baby in there?" He also loves to blow zerberts on it. This is all very cute and lovable - at home. But the other day we were in a store and he apparently wanted to see the baby and my bellybutton (which he loves because it popped out). I was so distracted trying to find what I was looking for on the shelf that I didn't even realize that he was lifting up my shirt until I heard a "BBBBrrrrraaaappppp" coming from my midsection. It sounded like a super loud fart and my stretch marks were out there for everyone looking. Classy. Elliot thought it was hilarious.

you can take a girl out of eaton rd, but you cant take eaton rd out of the girl

2011-06-23T11:27:00.000-04:00

i miss my neighbors. i miss my friends. i miss waving hello on my way to work in the morning. i miss bumping into everyone on our nightly after dinner walk. i miss the feel of the little friendly university heights street where i came to meet the best friends around. i feel far away, lost, not up on the hustle and bustle of life, distant and lonely.
eaton rd will always be part of me. its where i made my friends. its where i lived when my kids were born. its where they started their lives and development. its where i will always feel i'm home.
i live 2 miles away, yet it seems so far. 2 miles, to a better school district with a better pool (understatement), but without the sense of belonging we had before. dont get me wrong- we LOVE our new house (wet basement, disaster of a yard/landscaping and all). we know it was the right decision for us. but, eaton rd will always be home.
this blog started as a baby fever blog. and look how much has changed! gosh- ive had two kids. jami and cara each have 1 (so far), and abby is on the way to two. maybe its that once baby fever is over, thats when we leave our comfy little eaton rd home?
i dont have baby fever. its gone.
i want to go to cara's today to cuddle with liam. i want to hold and play with little babies, yet give them back when diapers need changing. and i want to sleep all night, uninterrupted.
am i selfish? maybe.....but ive been there and done it all myself too. and now, im psyched that my kids can tell me what they want with words. im psyched that it appears we may no longer need to buy diapers (dont quote me on that one yet. its only been 1.5 weeks!). im psyched that levi and i can go on "dates" and stay up late cuddling and watching movies, and he can have sleepovers with his grandmas and his friends. i love sleeping all night, although i could do without the 6:30am wake-up calls even on weekends....life is great. i can't complain.
but now you'll understand why you may see me on eaton rd, wandering up and down the street, even though i no longer live there. i miss it and i miss you, my friends. but im just a little ways away. lets not let our friendship change at all.

Third Trimester!

2011-05-31T16:00:00.002-04:00

Ahhhh, only 12 weeks left. This time during the pregnancy with Elliot it was freezing cold and snowing. Today, it's 90 degrees outside and 80 degrees in my office (damn corner office with tons of windows). A bit of a change but I'll take it because it's light out until late and I can park myself at the pool all summer.

Of course, the time left makes me reflect on all of the things I have yet to do. Such as, get Elliot's new room set up, get Elliot sleeping in a new bed, fix the garage, fix the deck, kitchen, etc. The list seems to go on forever. I have so much to do, in fact, that it's been hard to even think of being pregnant, except for the aches, pains, and heartburn. Zoloft, anyone?

Nothing new to report, but I am happy to say that my glucose tolerance test was acceptable so I don't have to take the 3 hour test this time. The only issue I am waiting to see about now is my blood pressure. It was a little higher at my last visit, and then higher still at a recent physical therapy appointment, but the jury's still out. Frankly, I'll trade a bit of high blood pressure if it means I get to be induced again. Chalk it up to the control freak part of me, but I like knowing when I have to be at the hospital and I like have the house cleaned beforehand. Also, this time it will be nice to be able to make arrangements for Elliot in advance. Bring it on!

Past the Halfway Point

2011-04-14T09:52:00.002-04:00

I meant to post this last week which was my halfway point, but frankly I was just too lazy. Somehow 21 weeks doesn't sound as exciting. I guess this pregnancy is legally able to drink now, hooray! If only I could have a glass of wine. It feels good to be on this side. I can finally help with dinner, eat with the family, and put Elliot to bed. I can even clean the house again, which is nice because Elliot was finding dog hair and brining it to me saying "Here you go mommy, this is yuck." It's not all wonderful - my feet are already swelling and my pelvic pain is already present, but it's so much better than constant nausea. We had our anatomy ultrasound a couple of weeks ago and everything looks great. The baby has a face and all of its appendages, so that's a good start. Gender is still a mystery. I wanted to know, but the baby wouldn't cooperate. Dr. X did the ultrasound, and yes, he's still a jerk. He repeatedly jiggled my belly, commanding the baby to cooperate until I finally just blurted out "forget it" because the alternative would have been to punch him in the face. Even Bobby, who is usually incredibly laid back, thought it was a bit much. Looking forward to summer - planting flowers, taking long walks, and beaching myself at the pool. Woohoo!

Fatty Fat

2011-03-14T16:13:00.001-04:00

Oh, by the way. I feel like a total cow. I was laughing the other day when I caught myself in the car window and saw not one, but two chins. I almost barfed. Also, stretch marks are super uncute when activated by the hormones of a second pregnancy. Trust me.

Momma Said Knock You Out, Flu Gonna Knock You Out

2011-03-14T14:19:00.002-04:00

Just when I was starting to feel better, it was time for a reminder of how bad life can feel. It started on Monday afternoon. A little tickle in the back of my throat, coughing some, then some more. By evening I was quite sure I was sick. Tuesday morning, still coughing now with some aches and a pounding headache. With my cough being worse, I decided to stay home and spare my co-workers. By that evening, I was wreck. Wednesday felt like a truck was dragging my body. I felt feverish, with chills and aches. I took 5 hot showers and 3 warm baths during the day and evening to try and feel better. Bobby, being knocked out with me, took turns with me to pick up Elliot and re-stock our tissues and juice. We layed in bed miserable together. Then Thursday came, and Friday. We finally started to feel human again when Elliot started with the same symptoms. A weekend of trying to care for an ill toddler with both of us ill was really hard. Thankfully, my mom came over for reinforcements.

Fast forward two weeks later and I am finally shaking my cough. Elliot is still dealing with his symptoms.

I don't know what this was. I don't know if it was the flu or just the worst cold I have ever had. Hopefully, I am done for the year now.

In other news, I have felt all kinds of squiggles and wiggles for the past several weeks so I guess I really do have a baby. Next up - anatomy ultrasound. The big question is - do we find out, or don't we?

This Gut's Not Just for Show, You Know

2011-02-17T11:29:00.004-05:00

As my first trimester is ending, I am taking an inventory of the process to date. I did the pee on a stick thing, and the initial excitement, then I did the bloating and the indigestion. I accomplished great feats of nausea and misery. I tried hot foods, I tried cool foods, I tried carbonated beverages, and even one bitty sip of beer (yum). My clothes got tight. And then my clothes got tighter. My boobs got bigger. And then bigger. And then a bit bigger. My fat started to accumulate anywhere it could - my stomach, my thighs, my face, and a little more on my thighs. And, my stomach now looks like it belongs to someone who is just a pathetic overweight person who doesn't exercise and has three cats and no man.

I'm ready to move on and find a way to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy, which is most different from my first not in how I feel, but in my perspective about how I feel. This time around life is just so much more matter-of-fact, and this pregnancy feels like more of an inconvenience than some blessed damn miracle. It's like ordering something online. I ordered the damn sweater a week ago, why isn't it here yet? I have a spot cleared in my drawer for the sweater and the anticipation of it's arrival has lost all luster, just deliver it already.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water, But You Can't Make Him Drink

2011-02-07T10:17:00.003-05:00

That about sums up our potty-training work. Elliot will tell us he has "doo doo" and will ask for his potty chair. So we run to the potty and get him on, where he sits for about 2 seconds and then says "all done" and gets up. Then he won't sit back down (after all, he's all done in his mind). What is frustrating is the fact that he has never put so much as a drip of pee (or anything else) into that potty. I am happy that he is willing to go to it, knows it by name, and can somewhat identify an urge to go (or he just likes saying the words"doo doo" and "poop" and gets a kick out of the potty-run process). However, I look forward to the day when he actually goes on it. Oh well, I suppose he won't be wearing diapers to take his SATs so I should just chill out.

In other news, I am FINALLY starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel as my first trimester draws to a close. Now I look forward to getting a belly so that (1) my maternity clothes stop looking so stupid and (2) people know I am pregnant not just a giant pig when I inhale a huge meal.

growing, changing

2011-02-01T21:38:00.000-05:00

how did my little girl get to be a big girl?
no, she is not yet potty trained (and she says a BIG FAT NO NO NO whenever i ask her if she wants to sit on the potty), but she absolutely refuses to sit in her booster seat or a restaurant high chair anymore.
this is only mildly problematic. besides the obvious safety issue and keeping her in her seat during meals, it is extremely amusing watching her try to eat.
she is tiny. teeny tiny. at almost 2 years old, she is still 21 pounds. 3rd percentile for height. a little peanut. she is too short to sit in the chair and still be able to see (let alone reach and eat) her food. BUT- she demands it. she put up such a fight this past weekend about the stupid booster that we just put it away and gave in.
tonight, as she reached up to the table with her spoon in hand, digging into her bowl of chili like a true texan, she proved to me that no matter how small, she really is becoming a big girl. miracle of miracles, all that chili ended up IN her mouth and not on her clothes, on her chair, on the floor, or in the dog's mouth. and when she finished up with her portion, she simply got off her chair, walked to the other side of the table to levi's chair, climbed on up, sat down, and started in on his bowl of chili which he refused to even taste.

Winter Funk

2011-02-01T13:16:00.001-05:00

Is this a winter funk or my pregnancy hormones? I normally go through a winter doldrum period every year and it's usually right after the first of the year. I'm staring down the long, frigid month of January, the calendar usually seems to have an extra week (or two) every January. The month will last forever and spring will never come. This year has been a bit different. I actually was energized after the holidays, looking forward to finally feeling good and getting some items marked off my baby to-do list. I was excited about the 20 week ultrasound mid-month (everything was great, by the way!!) and feeling good about where I was in life. That was January 10th. Then I spent the next few weeks dealing with a car accident (again, everything about me and the baby was okay) but the paperwork, red tape and car nightmares kept me occupied for that dreary, depressing month of January. Long awaited February has finally arrived!!!! Full blown snowstorm and wintry mix along with it. This is NOT what I expect from February, it's my birthday month after all!!! So, now that February has rolled in, I'm finally hitting my 'winter funk'. I'm still without my car (brand new at the time, mind you), it's bitterly cold with no end in sight and I'm really climbing walls for spring to arrive. Oh, and did I mention that snowstorm? So here I am, less than excited about the days ahead and wanting nothing more than to hibernate the next 2 months away. I'm left trying to decide if this is an extra bad case of the doldrums or if it's the usual winter funk, magnified by these so called 'pregnancy hormones'. I'll let you know once the snow starts to melt. Happy February....

Talk About Anticlimactic

2011-01-24T21:37:00.002-05:00

Perhaps it's time I officially post about my pregnancy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, err, just ladies, the baby fever heckler is expecting!! Sorry for the anticlimactic announcement, I know my floating ticker countdown thing-a-majig has been happily floating away for about 6 or 8 weeks now, so I thought it was time to show my face. I've been meaning to post, but first it was the feelings of disgustingness and vomit city (much like Abby has been experiencing) that kept me from posting. Then it was the exhaustion and holiday craziness. Then a bout with that crazy 4 week long cold everyone seems to be coming down with. But now, I'm back, feeling better than ever, or about as good as a pregnant gal can feel and ready to blog!!

And a side note to Abby, hang in there, you're almost to that magic point!!

Every Day Is A Struggle

2011-01-24T13:25:00.003-05:00

I am seriously just marking time here. Here is my daily schedule - wake up, feel sort of ok. Eat something light and bland for breakfast. Feel sick. Take a pill. Still feel sick. Put on something, anything to wear to work, no matter how shitty I look. Drive to work. Still sick. Try to work amidst stacks of backlogged assignments, all the while feeling lower than miserable. Eat lunch - doesn't matter what - feel sick some more. Indigestion. Indigestion. Indigestion. Dizzy spell, time to go home. Arrive home. Immediately put on something comfortable. Get into bed. Stay in bed feeling miserable until I fall asleep somewhere around 8pm. If I am feeling less worse, sometimes I help with bath time. I don't know why it feels worse this time. My guess is because I have more responsibilities. Also, maybe because I felt sick about 2 weeks earlier this time. I have a prescription for an anti-nausea medication, but it doesn't stop indigestion sickness, exhaustion, hot flashes, or other issues. Tomorrow is 10 weeks and I just can't wait to see the end of this trimester.

Oh, as an aside, happy belated halfway point Cara!!

I Feel So Gross . . .

2011-01-18T11:28:00.003-05:00

Ugh, I just can't take it anymore. If I don't eat soon enough, I feel sick. Then, after eating the food just sits there in my stomach and I feel sick. It feels like time is going so slowly right now and I am losing my mind. Nothing helps except just sleeping through it. If only I could take a few weeks off work and just stay in bed all day until the symptoms go away. Can I get one of those medically-induced comas for first trimester?

Sorry for the Anticlimactic Announcement

2011-01-04T11:35:00.002-05:00

I guess my brain really is not on track. I guess my last post already announced it, but we're expecting again! See my last post for my current feelings on the subject. Sorry my baby ticker looks creepy.

I Remember Why I Hate This

2011-01-03T20:48:00.003-05:00

Silly me. I can't believe I was foolish or hopeful enough to think that I might escape the worst of early pregnancy symptoms my second time around. Instead, I am descending into my own personal hell one level at a time. First, it was bloating, then came an overwhelming sense of smell. Recently, the sick, sour stomach feeling has appeared. Now, I don't know how I am going to get through the next several weeks. I am miserable, miserable, miserable. I can't remember how I managed to do it last time. I think I really did a tremendous job blocking it all out of my memory. Forgetting is clearly the only explanation for how I could be willing to do this again.

In another news, I went for an ultrasound today because I started having spotting out of nowhere. Luckily, everything looked great and I got to see the heart beating.

I'm ready to move onto the second trimester now . . .

Nerdy Nerdyson and a Cautionary Tale

2010-12-14T11:47:00.004-05:00

So, I love to be organized. I make lists at work, and charts to keep track of my cases. I also developed a case management system for my office to keep us all on the same page. So, naturally, I love tracking ovulation and keeping the information together as part of our family planning. Last fall, I started keeping track again so that I could be prepared and familiar with my cycle if we decided to have another child. I don't know if everyone does it, but I think keeping track really helps you become more in tune with your body, which will tell you the optimal time if you listen to it.

Until I have exciting news to report, let me leave you with a an anecdote. Picture this, you have two children under the age of 3. Your second child (who was 6 weeks premature and spent it's early weeks in the hospital) is only a couple months old when you get pregnant with a third child, who will be due before your second child turns one. On top of that, your oldest child is not yet potty trained. And, you are working full time while going to school. Are you ready to shoot yourself yet? That, my friends, is the story of a relative of mine. When asked why they decided to do this, my relative replied that it was an accident. People, let's be honest, you don't get pregnant by accident at that point unless you're stupid or are willingly and knowingly engaging in procreatively risky behavior. I don't buy that this was a rare case of total birth control failure despite extremely careful usage.

My Peanut Has A First Name, It's E-L-L-I-O-T

2010-11-15T21:08:00.003-05:00

Baby fever? Baby fever? Jami poses an interesting question. I just don't know the answer. Look at this little peanut, how can I top him? We have had rounds and rounds of conversations lately on the idea of family planning. Main topic of conversation - are we going to add any more, or stay a happy family of three? Neither of us have an answer at this moment. Frankly, I don't know if I have the resources - time, energy, money - to commit to another person. If we just had Elliot, would that be so bad? Heck no! And I feel like I wouldn't have to short change him on anything in this uncertain economy, where I am trying to grow a career while growing my family. Sure, I've already suffered the unenlightened "Well, you don't want to have an only child do you? DO YOU? They are messed up" type of statements, but I brush them off. I can read and I have and it seems to me that actual research-based information demonstrates that there really is no difference, except that single children may outperform academically.

I have to be practical about this situation. Having a newborn is great, but regardless of how many kids I decide to have they will always grow out of the newborn phase and there will always be a last time. Last time to swaddle. Last time to nurse. Last time to fold tiny onesies. That might be the hardest concept for me to grasp - if we only have Elliot, then so many of my firsts were also my lasts.

If I had to make a wager, I would guess that Elliot will have a sibling. Whatever we decide to do, I know I will continue to feel ambivalent until the last second, and, let's face it, even after my choice is made.

low grade fever

2010-11-12T19:32:00.003-05:00

The past 14 months (well really almost 2 years if you include the time I was pregnant) have been the most incredible, invigorating, trying, difficult, and pure joy I've ever felt. I had no idea what it would be like to bring a new little baby into this world but I have loved (almost) every second getting to know my little man. He amazes me all the time. I still cannot get over the fact that he grew in my belly! Some days I have no idea how I made it through the day and even though I feel like that I officially have baby fever again!

I'm wondering if I am letting myself have this overwhelming urge to grow another baby in my belly now because I know Joey is not ready so it most likely will not happen in the next few months. All I know is I'm starting to look in the mirror and stick my belly out again to reminensce about being preggo. I am absolutely ready for the next little one (moments when Jackson's laugh fills me with joy) and at the same moment not ready at all.

I'm looking to make a career move and I hate that that is impacting my "family planning". I will hopefully know in a month whether or not I will start a new job venture in January and then I can focus on the baby fever or take some tylenol to get "rid" of it for now.

At least lots of friends are having little bundles of joy so I can get my cuddle time in with a baby and still get to sleep through the night :)

Anyone else have baby fever right now?

how indecent

2010-08-29T22:59:00.000-04:00

this is one of the best posts ive read in a while......the pictoral comparison about the "indecency" of breast feeding in public to the accepted nudity in everyday advertising.
ENJOY!!!!

update, by request

2010-06-20T15:20:00.000-04:00

my little diva, aka tali ariel, is very opinionated.

if she wants something, even with her limited vocabulary of about 20 words, she lets you know. if she doesnt want something, her head shakes so ferociously sometimes i wonder if she is going to vomit from dizziness. so goes the decision to stop nursing.
over the last month or so, it would be hit or miss. some mornings she would wake up and attack me for milk and some mornings she would refuse completely wanting only her cup of whole milk from the fridge. and same thing at night. most of the time before bed she would be so tired, she would want nothing to do with nursing and would rather cuddle up with her stuffed animal and go to sleep.
5 days ago, i think she made her decision. she woke up, didnt want to nurse, and that was it. she has refused it since then. this morning i even cuddled with her in the rocking chair for 20 minutes when she woke and she made no attempt at my chest (and i didnt offer, i just held her close and rocked her).
in fine with it. i thought i would be really sad. but my little girl is growing up, she is becoming more independent and doesnt need mommy to feed her anymore. i know she loves me just as much as she did before and now we'll just find other special things to bond over that dont involve my breasts....

the mommy mafia

2010-04-13T13:24:00.000-04:00

did anyone else read this article on CNN.com today? I think it is great.

It reminds me of an incident a couple years ago that got me in a bit of trouble with my mommy friends. It split apart our little mommy group that had been pretty cohesive up until that point. We are all over it now (i think), but there was upheaval due to a tiny little comment that wasnt meant with any spite.

We were all trying to plan a playdate at a friend's house, and timing and days were discussed all over email. The host suggested a sunday afternoon, and stupid me HAD to reply to everyone explaining why I couldnt do sunday afternoon. It wouldnt have been a big deal had I just said I had things to do. I just had to make it personal.

Here is an excerpt from the email I sent, trying to make my case for an earlier playdate:
dont you think it would be better to go somewhere, like the childrens museum? say at 10am? then the kids can all play with plenty of time before nap. in the afternoon we can prepare for the week to start (at least us working moms have things to do before we start the week im sure), and then [our friend who volunteered to host] can have a clean house to come home to, no mess, no preparation, no food needed, just fun for the kids....

and here is the response i received:
I have to start my week by 7am at the latest every Monday (not counting the 5:30 am feeding, often following a 2 am feeding) . . . do you working mom's have kids that get up earlier than everyone else's babies? If you think that watching young children is so leisurely than why do you pay someone to do it? Shouldn't the care giver pay you? I'm not complaining, I've very happily chosen my current job, but I find it condescending that you assume there is nothing for me to do.

OK. You can say it. Maybe I crossed the line. I shouldnt have said ANYTHING about being a working mom. But in my head, it wasnt an attack! On sundays, I have stuff to do- grocery shop, planning meals for the week, making soup to eat all week, pack levi's bag for school including cleaning his nap sheets/blanket to bring with him, etc. I NEVER meant to make anyone feel bad about staying at home. I KNOW staying at home is a job in and of itself, with tons of responsibility and it is not relaxing or easy to say the least. I just figured that moms who stay home dont HAVE to do their shopping on sundays like i do, or they dont HAVE to cook like crazy to get them through the week.

Now, said commenter and I are friends, still see each other regularly, and still talk and hang out occasionally. but this definitely changed the relationship....and I havent even thought about this in a while, but this article just brought back memories....

am I really part of the mommy mafia? Do i make people feel bad with the things I say????

teeny tiny

2010-04-08T21:24:00.001-04:00

how did i get such a little girl? i am anything but little, so it dumbfounds me that she is such a peanut!

we had her 1 year checkup today. weighing in at 18 pound 7 ounces, she is officially at the 5th percentile for weight (and height and head circumference too).

she eats anything and everything in sight and doesnt put on an ounce. what i would give for a metabolism like that!

its amazing that tali and elliot are already one, and jackson is almost 7 months. this blog has been alive and kicking for over 2 years now. pretty cool i think! now we just need to get another nameless eaton rd neighbor to participate in the baby making party....

emotional

2010-02-23T11:43:00.001-05:00

im feeling sad. im feeling emotional. i am torn- am i doing the right thing?
i stopped pumping. yesterday was my last pump. i made the decision and am sticking with it (i think).
i have all intentions of continuing to nurse until tali is 1, or perhaps 15 months, (or forever), but the pumping is finally just wearing on me and its not fun, takes up time, and i have so much milk in my freezer, tali will be drinking breast milk until she's 20 anyhow, so why pump more?
i told jeff i didnt want to stop nursing at 12 months, and that i would continue morning and evening for a few more months, and he gave me a look like i had two heads. is it really that bad? i know, i dont want to be "that mom" that nurses her kid until he is running around, talking, and lifting up her shirt as he asks to have milk...but just a few more months???
tali is my baby (and perhaps my last baby), and i love nursing her. i love the cuddle time. i love the fact that i am the ONLY one who can give her this. when im done, will i be as important in her life anymore?
my friend lori told me that when she stopped nursing, she would brush her daughter's hair at night before bed- maybe that's what i'll start doing. that can be our little special mommy/baby time.
for now, im undecided. at least one more month of that special bond, that special nourishment only a mommy can provide, and maybe a few months more after that.

lessons from life

2010-01-05T14:47:00.000-05:00

I read this poem today on a brochure I had at work. I love it and I wanted to share it with everyone.

Lessons From Life by Ronald Russell (1971)

A child that lives with ridicule learns to be timid
A child that lives with criticism learns to condemn
A child that lives with distrust learns to be deceitful
A child that lives with antagonism learns to be hostile

A child that lives with affection learns to love
A child that lives with encouragement learns confidence
A child that lives with truth learns justice
A child that lives with praise learns to appreciate

A child that lives with sharing learns to be considerate
A child that lives with knowledge learns wisdom
A child that lives with patience learns to be tolerant
A child that lives with happiness will find love and beauty

Stretch Marks are Yucky

2009-12-10T22:17:00.001-05:00

Need I say more?

A Busy Week, A Busy Baby

2009-11-29T20:42:00.003-05:00

I love going to the dentist. No, really. I procrastinate about it forever and then when I go I feel so responsible and proud of myself for taking care of my teeth! Having said that, I now need a small fortune worth of dental work before the year is out - a root canal, 3 cavities, 2 crowns, and 3 wisdom teeth removed. And before you ask, yes, I brush and floss regularly. I just lost the genetic lottery and got horribly crappy teeth. That was my medical adventure. But Elliot felt like he was missing out so I took him for an H1N1 shot (and have had no luck finding a place to get him his second shot next month). Then, he really missed Dr. Sender's fantastic treehouse in his waiting room so he came down with a cold that led to an ear infection. So now we shoot hot pink goo into his mouth twice a day, which, incidentally, stains everything it touches instantly (why hot pink, anyway?). Ahh, I can tell you that it looks and smells exactly like it did when I knew it as "bubblegum medicine" back in the day.

In other news, it seems Elliot is extremely impatient about this whole crawling thing, and just won't listen when I tell him he can't stand or walk on his own yet. He's already been slithering on his belly for about a month, and started to pull up on my legs when sit on the floor with him a few weeks ago. But now, he has learned that he can pull up using lots of stuff, like his box of diapers, the dog, table legs, my shirt collars, you name it. And he loves to stand more than anything, and often forgets that he has to hold on and can't let go yet to go over to something that looks interesting. He was a wiggle-worm in utero, and I never sat still as a child so I am not totally surprised, but I am also not totally prepared for him to start moving so much yet. The past few days he even started to stand on his own for 1-2 seconds if you let him, and has tried cruising using the edge of the bathtub. I am proud of his independant spirit, but exhausted thinking about his non-stop activity once he really figures out how to move about. Maybe I'll just bubble wrap him . . . .

It's Not About Babies, But It's Life Anyway

2009-11-10T18:16:00.003-05:00

Did you ever have one of those days where you get ready for work and you feel like your outfit is put together well? Your top looks cute, your pants look nice and complimentary from the front AND the side, and you feel like you look pretty professional and adult-like? Pretty great huh? That's how my day started today.

And did you ever have one of those same days, but somehow, during the 25-minute car ride to work something goes terribly wrong and you get out of your car and all of the sudden the outfit you left the house in just doesn't seem the same anymore? Your pants suddenly seem too short for your shoes, your top is riding up and you need to keep pulling it down so that it doesn't show off the pantyhose you had to hike up in order to hold in that extra little bulge, and now your right bra strap suddenly keeps making special appearances inside the neckline of that sweater that sat just right 25 minutes earlier? Pretty crappy huh? That's how my day continued. I subsequently got to spend the rest of my day pulling down my top and pulling in my neckline so that my boss didn't have to see that I mistakenly wore the brown bra with the black top. Not to mention that after missing my last pumping while preparing for depositions that I developed monstrous and offensive cleavage, causing the development of the double-hump boob over the edge of my bra that was readily apparent for all to see.

Awesome day.

eaton road brunch and photoshoot

2009-11-01T12:56:00.004-05:00

Here are some pictures of the Eaton Road children....

Nana for Nanny

2009-10-27T16:37:00.003-04:00

We just got the best news.........my parents are moving to Cleveland and my mom will be Jackson's nanny! I can't begin to tell you how excited we are and my mom is equally excited. Now if I could only get excited about having to go back to work..........

and then there were four

2009-10-20T12:03:00.003-04:00

people keep asking us if we are done having children or if we want more. and perhaps, we've happened upon that decision rather unexpectedly.

NO- im not pregnant.

Rather, we had an experience this past weekend that changed our outlook a little, and gave us some perspective on what it would be like to have more kids...

Early Saturday morning, I received a call from a friend in need. She and her husband had to go somewhere urgently and had no place to leave the children. Without question, i told her to drop them off....i figured it would be fun! a baby to cuddle with (only 2 weeks old!!!!), and a playmate for levi (another 3 year old).

I was right, it was a LOT of fun!!!!
BUT- it was also A LOT of work!!

Jeff had been on call Friday night, so he did not get home until 10:30am, was awake for an hour, and then took a nap himself. So essentially, I was taking care of all four children alone from 7:30am onward....

The older ones occupied themselves really well, but it seemed that whenever one of the babies needed something, one of the older kids would start crying and need me to help fix the disassembled train track or negotiate the terms of toy sharing or read a book to them.
And when one baby wanted to eat, of course the other one needed to eat too! I found myself feeding the baby cradled in my right arm holding the bottle in my right hand and feeding Tali baby food with the spoon in my left hand. Needless to say, we were all a bit messy in the end.

i describe the situation as semi-organized chaos.

we even took a walk down the street (when jeff was home AND awake) to easily occupy all four children at the same time, since we strapped each and everyone into their own seat in our two double strollers so there was no escaping...

My biggest accomplishment of the day was getting ALL FOUR CHILDREN (PLUS MY HUSBAND) to nap at the SAME TIME!!!!

I put the boys in bed together and told them to go to sleep. I heard them giggling on the monitor a few minutes later and went back into the room to tell them that if they did not go to sleep right NOW, that i would have to end the "sleepover" and take Levi's friend home (yah right, home to an empty house- but they didnt know that!).....and then, i did not hear another peep for over 2.5 hours!!!!!

I nursed tali and put her in her crib, where she slept soundly for almost 3 hours....and then I brought the baby to the basement, fed her a big bottle, and swaddled her and put her in the bouncer we keep downstairs, where she slept for 2 hours also!!!! I relaxed watching TV on the LCD in the basement- well deserved peace and quiet.....

Once the afternoon came and my friend came to pick up the kids, I realized how crazy the day actually was and how hard it was to take care of four children. It was more like 2 sets of twins (although tali and the baby are six months apart, they both need to be fed and carried and entertained).
I had a ton of fun while I was doing it, but also experienced a lot of relief when it was over! Having 4 kids would be hard work!

I know that if we choose to have another child, they would be spaced adequately so it wouldnt be like taking care of twins, but still- kids of all ages have needs and who knows how complicated and difficult it would be to fulfill all those needs at the same time!

And what happens if we get pregnant with twins???? i think chaos would be an understatement.

We are still up in the air about the decision, but more and more things are coming together to maybe say we're leaning towards keeping our perfect family of four a family of four.

Look Out World - We Have Our FIrst Forward Movement!

2009-10-15T22:29:00.002-04:00

Elliot's been very active for a while now, and he has several tricks down pat. He can roll. He can sit up. He can spin 360 degrees on his belly, and he can grab all kinds of stuff and waive them around. And now added to the portfolio - moving forward. I don't say crawling because I am not sure it technically was. But, this evening after his bath he really REALLY wanted the baby vitamin bottle nearby. He wanted it so badly that he tucked his knees up under him and pushed forward. Then, when he still wasn't quite close enough to grab it, he repeated the steps again until he could finally swing his arm out and reach it. Of course, after we got over our shock we immediately set up the scenario again and he repeated the whole exercise twice.

Guess we better get our child-proofing done asap!

Aye, A Stressful Dream

2009-10-10T22:10:00.002-04:00

Dreaming of giving birth is awesome. No, actually it is the opposite of awesome - nawsome I guess. I had a dream the other night that I was giving birth to baby number two - and Elliot was still only 6 months old. I was so stressed out in the dream and I kept asking Bobby why we were doing this so soon. I could feel the contractions. It sucked. I think this whole teething thing has me out of whack.

Now, to go tend to the screech owl upstairs. Don't let that scare you Cara, it's still awesome to be a mom.

mommy necklace

2009-10-07T21:33:00.002-04:00

When Levi was born, Jeff bought me a beautiful David Yurman necklace with a big heart on it (Levi means "my heart" in Hebrew).

So, when Tali was born, he wanted to out-do himself and he bought me the fanciest charriol bracelet i could have ever imagined. While it was absolutely beautiful, gorgeous, and perfect, i had to return it because it was something i would only wear once in a long while, and we could use that $$$$ to do a LOT more useful things around the house and in our lives.

Jeff was on a quest to get something nice for me in honor of tali's birth (that didnt cost the same as a small car).

I have always loved the "mommy necklaces" that ive seen on people and in stores- little delicate charms with the names of the children hanging on a silver chain. im not a "delicate" sort of person, but i really liked that style of necklace.

but i wanted something slightly different than the normal ones ive seen....

we searched for months and couldnt come up with the perfect thing, until a couple weeks ago when jeff ordered THIS:

It arrived today.
a delicate silver charm necklace with levi and tali in hebrew.

i love it!!!!

the woman does great work. her stuff can be found here.

Halloween's A'Comin'

2009-10-06T21:56:00.002-04:00

We debated back and forth. Do we buy a halloween costume for Elliot this year? Do we just dress him in black and orange? Or do we do nothing? I think we initially made a tacit decision to skip the costume because we would be spending the money, really, just to amuse ourselves. But then we were at Old Navy over the weekend and we both locked our eyes on a dragon and decided we just had to put him in it - hell, why shouldn't we be entitled to a little amusement. Besides, aren't we really just creating wonderful memories (and photos, and video) that we'll have for years to come? So, this year, for his very first halloween, Elliot is going to be a dragon. We've already tried it on him and he looks super awesome. So, if you find yourself on Eaton road this year, stop on by and see our little guy.

Jackson Ari

2009-10-05T19:41:00.002-04:00

We are so in love with him and its hard to remember life without him even though he's not even 1 month old. He loves to snuggle, listen to books being read to him, listen to music (current fave is B is for Bob - a kids Bob Marley CD my sister got him) and bath time. Being his mom is the most amazing thing I have ever done and I'm loving every second I spend getting to know him.

A quick version of the birth.....

I went to Hillcrest on Tuesday night to be induced and pitocin was started at 645am on Wednesday morning. Pitocin was incredibly effective and I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes that were lasting 60-90 seconds. We had a doula who was fabulous and I highly recommend it if you're considering going natural. I was able to get to 5cm through some rough contractions but as the pitocin was turned up again at that point I could no longer hold off. I had an epidural and immediately I was able to relax. The doctor broke my water and I tried to get some much needed rest. After a few hours I was at 8cm but the doctor said he thought my pelvic opening seemed small. Not really what you want to hear when you're thinking a baby has to come out. After another 2 hours I was still only 8cm and the baby was starting to have some decels. After laboring for 14 hours I was on my way to the OR for a c-section. AT 8pm on 9-9-09 Jackson Ari arrived weighing 6 pounds 8 ounces and he was perfect. I was in love from the moment I heard him cry. I LOVE being a mom. Joey has been incredible and I couldn't ask for a more loving husband and father to our son.

First Tooth!

2009-10-04T09:44:00.002-04:00

We've been waiting and now finally it has arrived! For a number of weeks, Elliot has been biting hard on everything he can get his hands on. And about a week ago it looked like something was going on. Then on Friday I felt a sharp little nubbin starting to poke through. How exciting!

Six Months of Elliot

2009-09-30T11:20:00.003-04:00

Loves:

The dogs
Sleeping on his knees with his tush up in the air and his arms tucked under him
Dancing
When people (or the dogs) sneeze - nothing makes him laugh harder
Books
Bananas
Mommy (super nice for me)

Doesn't Love:

To be hot
Ending up in the corner of the crib
Grandpa Chuck's beard (it scares him I think)
Being in his swing while mom and dad get ready for work
Pearl Jam (but dad is working really hard to change that)
Not being able to crawl to his toys or the dogs

Hobbies:

Rolling
Grabbing at everything mommy tries to carry along with him
Flailing wildly when trying to get to a toy or dog just out or reach
Making lots of (adorable) of noises
Sitting up and playing
Sleeping

Hard to believe it was already half a year ago that we welcomed a tiny little Elliot into the world. He started like a tightly folded piece of paper, and now is slowling opening to reveal all kinds of facets and information. I swear he just gets more fun every day.

Here's to you Elliot, happy half birthday!

happy half birthday

2009-09-22T09:49:00.003-04:00

6 months.
it is unbelievable to me that my little girl is already SIX MONTHS OLD.
it seems like yesterday that i was waddling around with this big belly, unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time without having this terrible urge to pee or move or adjust my whale of a body.
it seems like yesterday i was shaking in the operating room as they cut me open to pull out a screaming little baby girl.
it seems like yesterday that i was nursing a little bobble head every hour or so, only to finally get her to sleep and find it was time to wake her and feed her again.
it seems like yesterday that levi found out he was a big brother to a beautiful baby sister.

and then again,

i feel like i know her so well, how has it only been 6 months?
i know that she likes to watch levi play with his cars. i know she likes to be tickled on her neck. i know she loves green beans and pears, but doesnt care too much for peas or peaches. i know she loves reading books and singing songs and watching people. I know she loves toys that play music and she has learned how to get the music to turn on over and over again. i know that she loves rolling from her back to her belly, but sometimes just cant figure out how to get back over again. and i know she loves to sit up and stand up and jump, because then it is easier for her to see the world around her.
i know every little inch of her tiny body, every little fold (after fold after fold) of her chunky legs and arms.

being a mommy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. i savor each moment with my kids, crave for more time with them at each stage, and stare at them both in wonder and amazement about how i helped create such perfect little people.

Full Time Lawyer, Part Time Mom?

2009-09-20T23:16:00.003-04:00

Can we really do it all? Some days, it feels like I can - at least I feel hopeful that I can. But most days I feel like I am barely getting by - fitting in a full days work before picking up the baby and trying to get dinner ready. Then, if I am lucky, the baby isn't too tired to play for a bit before its time for a bath and bed. After that, I fall into bed myself, usually passing out quickly, only so that I can get up and do it all again. I work towards the weekend, where it whizzes by in an instant and I barely catch my breath before the new week begins. "Boo hoo", right? Aren't we all in the same boat? Maybe so, but why? I have found myself thinking a lot about this lately, and it dawned on me today that I feel like I am only a part-time mom. Don't get me wrong, Elliot is never far from my mind, but I don't feel like I am allowing myself a large enough chunk of my day or my life to commit to being just a mom.

Work is challenging and I love the intellectual workout in debating finer points of law or strategizing our moves on a case. And honestly, I think I would really miss the mental stimulation if it were gone. But I want to be able to have the ability to spend as much time researching and implementing my mothering goals and skills as I do my lawyering goals and skills. I want to be able to still have enough energy during the day to think of fun and creative things to do with Elliot, and the time to carry them out. He is really developing and it is so exciting, but I feel like so much of what is going on with him is being fostered by someone else. Ms. Sharon is making sure he spends more time on his tummy, and Ms. Sharon is feeding him cereal and bananas and trying to interest him in solids, and Ms. Sharon is working on moving him into nap time without a pacifier. Shouldn't it be me? I mean, I find myself saying, "oh, Elliot has to take a nap at x time today because that is what Ms. Sharon has established with him." Thank goodness we have a loving and caring day care environment, but shouldn't I be doing all of these things, and not taking her lead?

Working, not working, working part time. It's not about luxury or playing tennis or manicures to me. I just want to be able to have the time and energy to treat motherhood like the serious and full time job that it is. Right now, I feel like everything is all out of balance and I can't help but wonder why we do this to ourselves and what, ultimately, is the effect it has on our kids?

All of this just makes me feel a little bit sad. And as much as I loathe the thought of it, maybe there is something to the traditional way of running a family . . .

Induction tonight

2009-09-08T13:40:00.002-04:00

I just got off the phone with my OB's office and I will be going to the hospital tonight at 7pm for induction. YEAH!! I can't wait to meet this baby (and to be able to breath again and see my ankles and hands without swelling).

I also talked to our doula to let her know the plan. She will be joining us tomorrow at 6am when they start pitocin. (Tonight will be cervadil to soften my cervix) I will be trying to go natural but we'll see how things end up. If the pain tolerance I had during the amnio this morning is any indication I may end up with an epidural.....we will see. My goal is a healthy baby and however we need to get there is fine.

Please think thoughts of quick and easy labor..........

Tuesday is labor day???

2009-09-07T20:27:00.003-04:00

SO - things have changed a bit in the last few days. I'll save all the drawn out details but here is the short version.

I went for my normal NST (non stress test) on Friday which lead to an ultrasound which showed my amniotic fluid is cloudy which lead to me being scheduled for an amniocentesis tomorrow morning at 730am which will lead to me being induced tomorrow night at 8pm if the baby's lungs are mature.

I am feeling so many emotions right now but mostly excitement. Of course anxiety about the big needle in my belly tomorrow morning but also about labor. I know women have been doing this for years and our bodies are made for delivering a baby but I just have fear of the unknown. I can hear everyone tell me what their experience during labor and delivery was but until I feel it myself I will be anxious about how its going to feel. I can't wait to meet beyonce!!

Sorry if this is just rambling but I am totally sleep deprived right now and not making alot of sense.

We will post details when we have them.........

Take a deep breath....

2009-09-02T22:38:00.002-04:00

that was what Joey told me to do at 2am when I suddenly woke up gasping for air and light headed. I'm guessing the girth of my belly and minimal room for my lungs was the culprit. After sitting in front of a fan and taking some deep breaths I started to feel better. I asked Joey to call the doctor and let him know he needs to get this baby out so I can breath. He didn't and I'm breathing slightly more comfortably now - definitely not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.

In some ways I no longer know what it means to get a full nights sleep. I am up a minimum of 2 times having to pee - most nights I'm up 3-4 times. At this point I can no longer lay flat on my side so the mountain of pillows surrounding me has expanded in order to support me and my big belly. I know this is all a ploy to get me so frustrated that I would do anything to push this baby out when the time comes. Also, to get me ready for sleepless nights coming up with feedings and diaper changes. What I wouldn't give to sleep through the night just one more night before Beyonce arrives.

A lovely side effect to lack of sleep is that I have a hard time functioning mentally throughout the day. I forget words, special occasions, tasks I need to complete......ugh!

I had to get the complaining out of the way but I have to tell you that I'm so excited to meet the little kick boxer in my belly. I will miss the jabs and pokes (I still think its the coolest feeling ever) but I'm so looking forward to holding and kissing the chubby cheeks of this baby. I want to see the person Joey and I created. I want to find out the personality. I want to snuggle and smell that amazing baby smell. I can't believe I will experiencing all of that in less than 16 days.......

Elliot in Retrograde

2009-08-17T13:51:00.004-04:00

Sleeping rules. It. Is. Awesome. And since the heavens have decided to bless me with a child who sleeps - which I believe is in reparation for the stretch marks (we're not even yet, by the way) - I get to enjoy my fair share. So how pissed was I when about a week ago I was woken up not once, not twice, but three and sometimes FOUR times a night for several nights in a row by a child screaming bloody murder. My first thought was, "gee, maybe his bedroom is haunted by spirits and they wake him up." My first rational thought was "gee, could he be teething already?." It goes without saying that, either way, I was none too pleased, but at least the "haunted room" track gave me the creepy/cool factor in telling the story.

But after the fourth or fifth night it stopped. On a dime. Then something else happened. I was getting him ready for a bath and he was laying there being all cute and grabbing his toes and babbling to me when he just rolled over. Just like that. No fanfare, no "hey mom, look what I can do!" Just a matter-of-fact action like it was old hat. So, for now, the screaming has stopped. But a whole new era has begun - that of a semi-mobile baby. Now, when I put him on a blanket with some toys and step briefly out of the room there is no guarantee that he will be where I left him when I return. In fact, it is a much better bet that I will find him flipped over and spun 180 degrees around.

Hey, I am pleased he is developing, don't get me wrong. But his new skills can scare the crap out of me. Take, for instance, the day I put him down for an afternoon nap and noticed 10 minutes in that he was awfully talkative. When I went into his room to investigate, the first thing I saw were two chubby legs dangling though the crib bars. Here, he had flipped over and turned sideways and was propped up talking to himself in the mirror. Cute as hell, sure, but all I could imagine was him trying to turn back over and wrenching one of those knees between the bars. Then, a near heart attack occurred when I went to get him one morning and found him asleep on his stomach. What made my heart skip was that, thanks to some early morning shadows and a seriously overactive imagination, his face appeared to be a dusky purple. It freaked me out so bad I yelled his name and startled the poor thing from a sound sleep.

The moral of this story for me is that my son regresses with his sleep when something big is about to happen. He has done it with his most recent growth spurts and now this. I guess we better hold on to our butts, this could be a bumpy ride.

Bigger, Bigger, and Bigger

2009-08-07T21:55:00.002-04:00

Elliot is four months old now, and officially out of the larvae stage during which he spent 90% of his time wrapped like a baby burrito. And while I miss part of the burrito days, like being able to run errands and have him sleep quietly the whole time, I really love that he is developing into a little person. But I guess he is not that little. At his four month checkup today, the nurse said "gee, he looks really big to be only four months old." That's right. I lied. He's really two, I just think four months sounds cuter. The nerve. But, as big as he seems (I think he's just right, by the way) he is very "average" for everything - height, head, and weight.

What gets me is his diaper size. See, he has these really chubby legs, so even though he can still technically fit in a size two, I have to yank the tabs to fasten them. Then, they leave red marks on his cute michelin man thighs. So. Today I did it. I bought size threes. No big deal, right? I mean, it's just a size. But it's not! It means he is getting bigger and bigger and soon he'll be telling me I am being "ridiculous" when I tell him he can't go on a road trip with his friends at 16. Ok I exaggerate, but it really seems to be going fast!

Earlier today, I took him to my office because I had to do a few things. Of course, he was a hit. More than one person threatened to eat him. But he loved my boss' office best because he has fun things to grab on his desk like a business card holder and a paperweight. Everything he saw he reached for with this facial expression like "I. Want. That. IT MUST GO IN MY MOUTH" But tonight, we got to put him to bed and then listen to him babble to himself for about ten minutes before he fell asleep. I should be tape recording it because it is so freaking cute. He likes to say ooooooh oooooooh ooooooh and then go AH! really loud. Fun times.

Meanwhile, he gets to see his cousin Betty tomorrow. And since she is only two and a half weeks old, that makes him older and able to give advice. He has already demonstrated how fun it is to try and grab a baby's face - she did not enjoy that lesson.

Happy Weekend to All!

Aching back + prenatal massage = happy preggo

2009-08-07T10:37:00.002-04:00

Hi. My name is Jami and I am terrible about posting my pregnancy thoughts, joys and complaints on our blog. Sorry!

Seriously though - the prenatal massage I had at Ladies and Gentlemen was one of the best hours of this pregnancy. It was heaven and I HIGHLY recommend all the preggos out there make an appointment. Samantha was the massage therapist I had. The massage starts out with a lovely warm foot soak while you sit in a candlelite lounge and sip on water or tea. You get a choose a scent for aroma therapy during the massage. When I walked in the room there was quite the pillow contraption awaiting - this was the item that made this massage so wonderful because I was able to lay on my stomach and my back during the massage. I want that pillow for my bed. (sleep, what is sleep? I've been missing it for awhile!) I can't say enough about this massage and it is well worth the $$$$.

On to pregnancy news. First of all the feeling of the baby doing gymnastics, running around my uterus and I think practicing martial arts is AMAZING. It is surreal and I am loving every movement. I feel bad for Joey because almost everytime I say the baby is really moving alot and he puts his hand on my belly, the movement stops. He did feel a few good kicks last night though. Secondly, I have been going for weekly appointments the past few weeks and the baby looks perfect. I get to have NST (non stress tests) weekly which checks out the well being of the baby. I am hooked up to a monitor for about 20 minutes and I push a button when I feel the baby move. Every other week I get to see the baby during a BPP (biophysical profile). This is an ultrasound that checks to see my amniotic fluid level (uncontrolled diabetes causes levels to get too high - mine is great thank G-d!), checks to see if the baby is practicing breathing, moving around and the size. As of Tuesday we're at 4 pounds 3 ounces - amazing! I get these extra tests due to diabetes because the placenta can mature more quickly than those without blood sugar issues. I'm enjoying the extra peaks at the baby and I can't wait to meet this little one!

According to my last appointment, the latest I will deliver is September 15. I will be induced if I have not started labor on my own. I've had mixed feelings about this because if I didn't have a high risk pregnancy I would probably choose to labor at home as long as possible and try alternate methods such as a birthing ball and meditation in the beginning stages. Unfortunately, that will not be the case but I've come to terms that as long as the baby is happy and healthy I'll be okay with the birthing process being more medical. That being said - I'm not thrilled with either option for how this baby will arrive - we'll see if its slot or chute!

We are starting on the nursery this weekend and I'm excited to have this finished. The crib will be delivered next week. I can't believe only about 5 weeks left!

Hi, remember me?

2009-07-24T13:00:00.000-04:00

I'm the Baby Fever slacker. I don't post, I don't have babies and I don't have baby fever. It's been a very exciting several months with the arrivals of the new babies and watching them grow. It's been fun to watch Levi interact with the babies and take on his new role as big brother. It has been exciting to watch Abby grow into her role as new mom and to watch Marni adjust to life with two children. It's extra exciting because Jami's arrival is right around the corner and it will be triple the fun! I love that I always have a baby to hold and play with and don't have to worry about sharing since there are so many babies. I was afraid that with the arrival of all the babies that I would catch the fever. No fever yet, but the good news is that all the babies didn't make me want to run the other way and never have children!!

tali's eating cereal!!!

2009-07-20T21:07:00.002-04:00

today, tali turned 4 months old....and, as i practice what i preach, i decided to give her some rice cereal tonight....her 4 month check up is on thursday, but i got it in my head that we should do this today, so i picked up a box of rice cereal from whole foods, put her in her highchair when we were eating dinner, and let her chow down.
she was a little unsure of the whole thing, but in the end ate about 20 bites before she started to cry....and then she fell asleep in the high chair, so im not sure she was crying because she didnt like the food- i think she was crying because she was tired!
here is a little video of our food adventure this evening.

jami's shower

2009-07-18T22:07:00.005-04:00

i figured i would post some pictures from the fun shower we had for jami today.

we got to celebrate baby "beyonce" and shower jami with lots of fun gifts.

we had a lot of great food and drinks, and some yummy cake and cupcakes!

here is jami with diane (joey's mom), who had tons of fun hanging out with all of us at her first baby shower ever!

our shower activity was onesie painting.

Each guest was given a white onesie to decorate with fabric paint and then jami will have lots of newborn onesies to dress the baby in (or perhaps wear to bed or wear under other clothes if they arent the most fashionable clothing!).

picture this

2009-07-07T21:06:00.003-04:00

im rounding this week so i cant just sit at my desk and pump at my scheduled times. i am out all morning, so i have to pump in my car.
i got a car adapter for my pump so i dont have to worry about batteries. I brought my book with me so i could just pull to the back of the parking lot so nobody would notice and i could read while im milked.

that was the plan at least.

when i finished my rounds at one hospital, i got back in my car to prepare, but i was frustrated that i couldnt just drive to the other hospital. i didnt want to sit in the car for 15 minutes to pump, then clean up, then drive 20 minutes to the other hospital. it just seemed like it would take so long to do all of that!
in my boldness, or craziness, or timeliness, or whatever you want to call it- i took a risk- all to save a few minutes.

i got my pump bra on, set up the pump, put my seatbelt on, and off i went. as the milk was pumped out of me, i drove down the HIGHWAY to the other hospital.

I set my cruise control because i had these images of driving too fast and getting pulled over and having the police man take one look at me and burst out laughing. i had visions of the police blotter in the newspaper with a report on this crazy woman who caused an accident because she was busy pumping while driving. i wondered if there was a law against doing this. no texting while driving. no pumping while driving?

well, i made it there safe and sound....saved myself about 20 minutes....and had absolutely no problems. i think i'll do the same thing again tomorrow. am i crazy?

I'm Back, and I LOVE Being a Mom!

2009-07-01T22:23:00.002-04:00

Here I am, finally stumbling out of my new mom stupor and ready to rejoin the real world, sort of. The past three months have been full of ups and a few downs, but mostly a lot of happiness and amazement at the transformation being undertaken in our house.

The labor was long because of the induction, and my body didn't decided to get with the program until about the 24th hour. But a short and relatively painless delivery followed thanks to an epidural (the cure for what ails) and a mere 30 minutes of pushing (I AM thankful for my wide hips - you always said I would be mom!). After a first degree tear (ouch) and an injured urethra (double ouch) out slid baby Botnick into the world and into our lives forever. I immediately noticed that his head was perfect and, of course, that he was a HE. Then I got to hold him close and notice details like his luxuriously long eyelashes, the little mark on his nose, how he has Bobby's toenails (sorry, kiddo), and how he looked just like I had imagined he would. It all went by so fast that before I knew it I was trying to breastfeed for the first time without any assistance while my nurse went for what I can only imagine was a ciggy break. It wasn't perfect by any means and even though I had read books and taken a class I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. It wasn't until an hour later that the exhaustion set in and I felt the full toll of the labor. And MAN, was I STARVING!!! My first meal? A whopper. I am not proud to admit it, but I felt I had earned it.

Unfortunately, after arriving home and suffering the great milk arrival of 2009 ,(I was not at all prepared for the burning, tingling, rock hard hot mess that was my boobs), things took a turn for the worse. The baby was fine - dare I say perfect. He slept well, ate well, hardly cried, and was very tolerant of all of the staring, cooing, and oogling from our relatives and friends. But I was a wreck, which is putting it very lightly. I didn't want to get out of bed, felt panicked all of the time, cried incessantly, and felt oppressive grief over the loss of "my life." I was hoping it was just the blues, but rolling onto week 2 it was still there. So, thanks to a very loving husband who called my doctor in spite of my embarrassment and my "I don't want to be that annoying person that overreacts and calls the doctor for no reason" I ended up in my OB's office. I was promptly diagnosed with the super-technical "more than baby blues but not quite crazy enough to hurt yourself or the baby anxiety/depression thingamajig." Long story short, I promptly got on meds and feel much much MUCH better. The moral here? Don't be embarrassed about getting help, and, if you feel like jumping off your roof or running out on your marriage because you feel like you can't take the anxiety anymore, you're probably not just overreacting.

Fast forward three months and I feel like making Elliot was the best thing Bobby and I ever did together. As someone who always wanted to be a "business lady" growing up and never a mom, I have totally shocked myself with the feelings I have for that little boy. Honestly, if I could I I would stay home and play with him all day, every day. He has these big blue eyes that smile when he smiles just like his dad. And he is a wiggly busy guy who likes to hear himself "talk", just like his mama. We're now at the stage where he is emerging from this larvae-like condition into a real baby. He's even reaching for things, trying to get them in his mouth, and trying to roll over (if only he could coordinate his top and lower halves to move at the same time!). It's like all of the sudden this little thing is interactive!

But the three month mark is not without heartbreak, and today was a difficult day for me - probably the saddest day I have had in a long time (not counting hormone-induced post partum ickies). I returned to work. For those of you aware of my quandry (shout out to my book club girls) you know how I felt about this step. All in all it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I watched the clock all day long and kept looking at the picture of him that I had with me. And then I raced to pick him up. As I approached the front door I could hear him fussing around, but as soon as I walked in the room he stopped on a dime and that was the best feeling in the world.

For those of you who are moms, I now understand. I get it. And I love it. For those of you on the fence, take it from a former fence-sitter (and man, was I ever) it is so much more worth it than you can imagine.

every mama (and dada) NEEDS one of these

2009-06-22T13:36:00.003-04:00

abby and i were at a friends house about a month ago and discovered an israeli baby wrap. it was this long piece of stretchy cotton/spandex material that you wrapped around your body in a seemingly very complicated way that allowed you to insert your baby close to your body.

it looked cool, so we both tried it on, and even though it appeared to be extremely difficult to figure out, it wasnt so bad....and once having the babies inside the wrap up against our bodies (separately, of course), the babies loved it, and our backs were supported, and we had our hands free to do whatever we wanted.

So, we decided to go on an internet mission to figure out how to get one of these amazing israeli wraps. The one our friend had was direct from israel and they dont sell it here anywhere. the wrap is very similar to the moby, but the moby doesnt have spandex in it so it stretches out and the baby sags.

so, in the end after multiple emails back and forth and web sites checked and reviews read, we decided on "the sleepy wrap".
i ordered orange.
abby ordered grey.

and i know im speaking for both of us when i say "IT IS AMAZING, FABULOUS, AND WORTH EVERY PENNY!!! EVERY PARENT SHOULD HAVE ONE!!!".
we get questions and comments wherever we go and we only have good things to say.

I promise we'll post a picture of tali AND elliot enjoying their new "ride" at the same time....(abby, we need to take one of those pictures!).

It's about time......

2009-06-15T14:58:00.002-04:00

I update this blog! Where to begin..............

Last Tuesday I went to OB for my monthly check up and everything was great. The baby's heart rate was in the 150s (I love that sound!), I was measuring at 25 weeks and all my labs were fantastic. My next appointment is in 3 weeks and that is for an ultrasound and BPP - this is when the extra testing starts since I'm high risk due to type 1 diabetes. The bad news is I will have appointments every 2 weeks then once a week then twice a week for the last few weeks but the good news is I get to see the baby at each of those appointments. I can't wait to see that little baby!

Oh, the soccer practice in my belly has begun. I always hear people mention feeling a little flutter or little kicks - there is nothing subtle about the kicking going on right now. It is the absolute coolest feeling ever and so amazing there is a baby in there! I love the kicks and can't wait to meet the little one who is doing them.

FINALLY we started registering and thinking about how to decorate the nursery. I have been avoiding this because I wanted to be sure everything was okay. I'm feeling excited and we have so much to do! There is a ton of stuff you need for a baby and its all really fun to pick out.

For now I will enjoy figuring out how to decorate the nursery and feeling good - I'm at the point where my belly is big but not big enough to be really uncomfortable.

Tali and Elliot: friends forever

2009-05-13T22:03:00.005-04:00

yes- they are holding hands...

they are still holding hands...

they're both awake and happy...

she has her eye on him...

"im not letting you out of my sight"...

tali is "dressed to impress" her friend elliot on the day of his bris...

dating at a young age

2009-05-11T20:56:00.002-04:00

tali and elliot officially had their first movie date today. and according to tali, it was a success. i think elliot would also agree!
good thing they were chaperoned- we wouldnt have wanted anything crazy to happen!

abby and i took a big risk today and went to see "ghosts of girlfriends past" at severance. we chose the earliest movie time (11:25am), and the theater least likely to care about screaming babies. when we pulled up, there were probably two cars in the parking lot (sigh of relief for both of us)....and there were only two other people in the movie with us and they made no rude comments or gestures about the fact that tali and elliot were present.

there were a few squeeks and grunts, and a couple of whimpers, but no all out crying or meltdowns....each baby was cuddled up against his/her respective mommy, cozy and happy as can be...

tali saw her first movie before levi!!!! and we're not stopping here. now that we know its possible, we're arranging for more dates in the near future. (and maybe, next time, we can do shaker square or cedar lee on a monday so we can have free popcorn too! or perhaps we should not mess with a good thing when we have it and stick with severance).

expression

2009-05-07T22:52:00.003-04:00

how come i didnt buy one of these when i pumped breast milk for 1 year for levi? it would have made life a LOT easier...

so, this time, before tali was even born, i ordered one.
and it is the BEST invention ever!!!!
now, i can wear this absolutely gorgeous and sexy contraption to keep the pump attachments tight against me while i am feeling very much like a cow, so that as i am collecting the food source for my beautiful darling daughter, i can use my hands for much more entertaining things- such as blogging (no mental image needed), reading, and wasting time on the internet....and when im back at work (which im dreading and would love to stay home with my babies forever!), i can sit at my desk while im "milked" and play on my computer. PERFECT!!!!

they're not that expensive. every mommy who plans on pumping should definitely invest in one of these....

Half way!

2009-05-06T15:40:00.002-04:00

Can you believe it?! I was officially 20 weeks yesterday and I have only posted once since finding out I was preg.....I'll work on that.

Last week we had the big ultrasound and much to the dismay of my mother we did not find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I think it will be such a fun surprise to see if we're having a daughter or son at the time s/he is born. We did find out that all looks great anatomy wise. As many of you know I worked in peds cardiology before and my big concern was seeing the heart had formed correctly - there were 4 chambers, a nice aortic arch, etc and the tech was very reassuring that everything looked great. Whew!

I have to tell you the best thing so far is seeing the baby at the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat - it is the best sound I've ever heard! When Joey saw the ultrasound and what actually looked like a baby he was amazed and I think he really started to get excited at that point. I'm looking forward to feeling the kicks - remind me I said this when I'm complaining about elbows/feet in my ribs in a few months.

I'm feeling fantastic - a little tired but overall I feel really good now. The 24 hour a day hangover feeling subsided around 14 weeks and since then I've felt like a real person again. I'm trying to work out a little bit more, mostly walking but its something.

My biggest complaint is I'm having a hard time finding maternity clothes. I really didn't like the maternity store at the mall but maybe I just need someone to help me navigate through it. I've had a little luck at Gap and Old Navy online. Anyone that has any suggestions, it would be most appreciated. I'm also thinking about getting a pregnancy pillow to help me sleep - anyone use one of those that they loved?

A Sign From Who?

2009-05-04T11:51:00.002-04:00

Matt and I know that we would someday like to have children, we are just not that sure when that someday may be. Apparently someone out there thinks that that someday should be now! I opened the front door yesterday to find a teething ring, neatly placed, in the center of my front porch. What the !?!? This certainly does not belong to us and after running through a brief list of our friends with children, I can not seem to think of who may have 'dropped' this on our front porch. None of our friends have children of teething age, not that I know when that age is anyway! So, who left the teething ring (TR) on our porch? I do not mean to excite anyone, the TR is not a message to all that I am pregnant. I do think the TR is a (funny and clever) message from someone who thinks that I should get pregnant...anyone want to claim it!?!

she loves her bath

2009-04-26T20:39:00.003-04:00

It has been a while since I posted here. Life has been busy. Two is a million times harder than one, and finding time for myself is a bit complicated...BUT, im getting used to things now, and I am trying to get back into my groove.
Long story short- tali was in the hospital for a couple days last week because she had a fever, and now everything is fine, but it was stressful and just when i thought i was getting back to myself, this threw me for a loop (and levi too, which is a whole other story).
but now i have the two most beautiful and perfect children in the world, and i couldnt be happier.
im discovering many things as i get to know my baby girl. she absolutely LOVES to be held, but she's starting to sleep better as the days and weeks pass. she only likes the pacifiers they give out at the hospital (the ugly turquoise soothie ones) even though ive tried just about every single other brand out there...and, she loves the swing (which levi HATED).
i wanted to post a couple pictures below of tali's favorite time of day- the bath. she LOVES the bath- loves the water swishing over her little body, loves looking at herself in the mirror, and could stay in there forever without fussing!!!!

On the Mom Side of Life

2009-04-08T09:23:00.003-04:00

Well, it's here. Or I suppose I should now say that he is here, making it very official - I am now a mom. It's weird how in a matter of minutes, between the baby being in you and then out of you, you go from being the person you've been all along - a friend, sister, wife, professional, to a whole new version of you. Even though it comes at you for months, the moment it all changes seems to happen all of a sudden.

After a slow beginning to my labor induction - it took about 16 hours to go from 0 to 2cm - things went pretty quickly. By late afternoon on delivery day I had made it to 4cm. By early evening I was 5 and in active labor. My doctor predicted that I would move along at about 1cm an hour, probably starting delivery at about 11pm. Well, within an hour and a half I was 8cm. Then, after two additional contractions I was 10cm and Elliot was ready to go. My doctor had a patient all ready for her c-section but ended up delivering me first because my pushing went so well. After just a few contractions worth of pushing for a total of about 30 minutes, Elliot just popped right out. I guess my mom was right - I would be thankful for my "good birthing hips" one day.

Now we're home, and my hormones are going nuts and I feel like a crazy person at times. I think we have now established breastfeeding, just tweaking certain things. Although, that didn't happen without a lot of tears, conversations with lactation consultants, and some emergency pumping. Man, I thought reading books and taking a class would prepare me for the challenge, but there were definitely unexpected hurdles.

While my body and my mind return to normal we are just trying to figure out how to take care of this new little person. Luckily, he seems to be a very peaceful and easily contented baby. Hopefully this will last. If you can see early signs of personality at this stage, I would have to guess that Elliot will take after Bobby in his laid back manner- thank goodness for us and for Elliot.

I look forward to what is ahead - and I also look forward to my hormones returning to normal because I feel like a blubbering crazy person a good deal of the time.

Elliot looks forward to playing with all his new friends on the street like Levi, Tali, and baby Klein!!!

Introducing Elliot Isaac

2009-04-01T22:11:00.002-04:00

Our son, Elliot Isaac, was born on March 31,2009 at 8:05pm weighing 7lbs 10oz and measuring 20 inches in length. He is absolutely lovely and we are so thrilled to finally meet him! Pictures will come soon!!!

All Eyes on Me

2009-04-01T15:38:00.001-04:00

I had to sit through a conference call this afternoon with corporate HR on new FMLA regulations. I felt extremely uncomfortable throughout the call. Every time someone said 'maternity leave' all eyes were on me. How embarrassing!?! It also made me mad. Just because I am the only married woman under the age of 40 in the HR department of my office does not mean that everyone should look at me. Do they know something I do not?

Getting Closer

2009-03-24T09:54:00.003-04:00

Only 10 days left to my due date, and likely less than that until we finally get to meet our baby!

We had another trip to labor & delivery on Sunday - I think they are getting to know us. This one lasted four hours and was prompted by my BP going up up up. We got to visit Marni and baby Tali Sunday morning, then we met up with Bobby's dad in the afternoon who was nice enough to get us a camcorder in honor of the new addition. I noticed that my hands were starting to swell. I have been wearing one of Bobby's rings for about a month now, and it is big on me so when it started to get tight I knew something was up. I had Bobby check my BP and it was about 142/94. So I took a nap for about an hour and woke up, checked it again, and found it to be 144/96. This made me a little concerned. We decided to go for a walk in the sunshine, then made dinner. I checked it after dinner and it was 148/100. We waited, checked again and it was 150/98. At this point, it was 8:30 and we decided to call the OB's office. I didn't want to only because I dreaded going to the hospital and having to get naked just to be hooked up to a BP monitor for hours. But, the numbers were alarming me, especially since I had not had a stressful day at all. So we called and, sure enough, we were sent in. Only, this time we were told to pack a bag because I was either going to be sent home or having a baby. Of course, I didn't have my bag packed already

After 4 hours in the hospital we were finally sent home when my BP came down and my blood work came back normal. The horrible part was having to lay on my left side for 4 hours - talk about muscle cramps!

Luckily, I still get to wait a little while longer, I just have to work part time and rest in the afternoons. I can't believe how soon we'll have a third person living in our house!!!

tali ariel

2009-03-20T14:32:00.001-04:00

welcome to the world

2009-03-20T12:56:00.001-04:00

tali ariel
born at 8:41am, 3/20/09....welcome to spring!!!
6#6oz, 18"
beautiful, perfect.....
pictures will come soon

Mixed News

2009-03-19T19:25:00.002-04:00

So I had an ultrasound today and everything looked "perfect" with the baby, which I am happy to hear. Unfortunately, it was with Dr. you-know-who. The woman who does the ultrasound is fantastic and very nice to talk to. Then the Dr. comes in. Talk about lack of any bedside manner. First off, he barges in finishing a snack or something (clearly chewing) and says "See, I told you that you would go past your due date." Now, this is strange for two reasons. First, I never had this conversation with him. Second, I am still two weeks away from my due date. I pointed out to him that I still had two weeks left and he just blew me off. He clearly must have thought I was someone else. So much for even bothering to look at a chart before coming in. Then, without looking at anything he said "the baby is perfect, should be 7.5 pounds when you deliver." Then he said have a nice day and left. After this whirlwind I just looked at Bobby and said "what the hell?!?" First the illogical comment about my due date and then the illogical comment about the baby being 7.5 pounds when I deliver. The second comment is illogical because they told me the baby is 7lbs 4oz TODAY. That means that in two weeks it will likely be 8 or more pounds. Again, he clearly didn't bother to even look at the results of the ultrasound, which had both the weight and my due date. Heaven help the women whose babies he delivers.

In other news, my OB set an induction date of 3/30. Well, just before midnight on 3/30 anyway. Unfortunately for me, however, my body just isn't ready for labor yet because my cervix is still long and the baby hasn't dropped. Hopefully things will change in the next 10 days because I don't want to end up being forced into a c-section. Keep your fingers crossed for me! My OB won't be at the hospital until 5pm on 3/31 and if things go quickly she won't be there to deliver me (though, luckily, it won't be Dr. you-know-who either). Although, she has predicted a long and slow labor for me. Evil woman. This truly was a mixed bag kind of day.

crazy week

2009-03-18T15:55:00.002-04:00

i was fine until last thursday....my endo kind of freaked out on me and was unhappy with how much water i was retaining, my dropping blood sugars, and my elevated blood pressure. he called my OB and told him to deliver me....
so, i went to my doctor for a non-stress test after that and everything looked fine, and he reassured me that i could continue to gestate. BUT, he wanted to have my monitored on monday just to make sure things were still fine.

i went to my doctor's partner monday for another non-stress test. my doctor was working in the hospital all that day, so i saw his partner instead.
im all hooked up to the machine, they have a hard time finding the heart beat, and finally, they found it so i relaxed....BUT, the non-stress test was non-reactive, which means the baby was not moving well and the heart rate was very steady instead of moving up and down....AND my blood pressure was pretty high....AND with all that combined with my low blood sugars, my OB's partner told me i should have the baby that day or the next, and sent me down to the hospital.

SO I PANICKED!!!

i found someone to pick levi up from school (thanks laura), and cancelled my afternoon plans, and called jeff and told him to meet me at labor and delivery, and called my mom and told her to get in the car and come to cleveland....i called work and told them to cancel all my patients from that point on- i was DONE working.
and i stopped home to get my bag and drove myself to the hospital.

after being monitored for three hours, the baby "woke up" and my blood pressure came down, and everything looked fine....

SO, long story short- i was sent home, baby still inside....

i felt bad that i had my mom rush to get here, but at the same time, i have peace of mind that she is here since if i do happen to go into labor, i dont have to worry about someone watching levi.....

and i AM CONTRACTING! even though it is not regular, they are real contractions that occur with any movement, walking, etc. they stop (mostly) when im lying down, although i was up for a couple hours last night with them- but now theyve stopped again.

i had to have another ultrasound today to make sure the baby still looks good, and the baby looks great....
and the estimated fetal weight is 7 pounds 3 ounces....
im still on the schedule for friday morning, 8am....yippee!!!!!!
we all cant wait to meet FIFFY-FIFFY!!!!

Full Term!!!

2009-03-13T17:07:00.002-04:00

I have finally reached full term today! Guess this means that Baby B could pop out any day, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it holds on. Things are lightening up at work, mostly because I am just moving slowly, doing what I can, and advising my boss on what he'll have to take overwhile I am gone - when he left today he told me to "hang on over the weekend and little while longer."

All I have left to do is get a good nursing bra and do some baby laundry!!!!

names

2009-03-12T09:41:00.002-04:00

when i was pregnant with levi, we needed an "S" name after jeff's father stanley. hence, Levi Simon. at least once or twice a day for MONTHS, i would get emails from my mother filled with names that started with "S". she didnt like the names we were choosing and wanted to make sure we knew our options....including LISTS and LISTS of indian "S" names since she was living in India at the time.

Now, here I am 1 week from having a baby, and im surprised at how little input my mother has tried to have on the names. We have our names chosen (and for the most part they are secret), and we need an "A" name after jeff's grandma anna. My mother probably only once or twice in the last few months sent an email with names that start with "A" that she likes....(of course, all ones we would not even consider- sorry mom!).

Today, i got another email about a name from my mother. The subject of the email was "perhaps you could name her...."
HER?
is there something she knows that we dont know yet?

Nine Months Pregnant and Feeling It

2009-03-11T09:11:00.002-04:00

Up until two weeks ago, I have been feeling so good that I thought I could stay pregnant forever. I had energy, my acid reflux was manageable, and my aches and pains were at a minimum. Then, I hit a wall. Now, I look forward to having this over. I am in pain and uncomfortable all of the time. I am now swelling. I am up to 2 Zantac a day and it still doesn't really work. I can't move quickly in any way. Sitting makes me stiff. Standing makes me stiff. Sleeping is not restful and I wake up with an aching back, hips, and butt. And the exhaustion has returned in full force. I basically have to nap at my desk every afternoon just to make it to 5pm. I used to love getting on a roll in late afternoon and going until 6. Now, I keep watching the clock and try to find a reason to leave at 4:30 so I can go lay down.

And I am so sick of wearing the same 6 damn outfits that I could die. I don't even want to get dressed for work anymore and basically don't care what I look like - not even my maternity tops fit me now. My hair is not cooperating, my face is breaking out, and I just look puffy and gross. Ugh, I feel like I need a break. Thankfully, I am really in the home stretch now.

And another thing. I went shopping for nursing bras this weekend. I decided to start with motherhood maternity because they seem to have a ton of bras and I don't know what I like yet so I wanted to spend as little as possible to try out some styles. Unfortunately, unlike any other time I have been in there, the sales clerks were totally unhelpful. They took turns measuring me and got different results each time (is it really that hard?). Then, they told me that they don't have any bras in my size. That is ridiculous and outrageous. It is no secret that women's boobs and rib cages get bigger in pregnancy, and that boobs get even bigger at the start of nursing. This should not be a shock to the buyers at Motherhood maternity. So I want to know why it is that there is no bra that will fit a D+ cup, or a DD, or an E even! I mean, even non-"plus size" ladies can get giant boobs so what's the deal?!?! My only option is to order stuff online, which is a pain in the ass.

The bottom line is that I am just plain tired and cranky at this point and I can't wait to move on to the next phase.

and we finally have a baby room

2009-03-08T20:38:00.002-04:00

it took a LONG time and much stress by little old me to actually accomplish this big task, but as of 9pm last night, we finally have a room for the baby!!!

jeff kept reminding me that the baby will be sleeping in our room in the pack-n-play until he/she is about a month old anyhow, but that didnt make my stress level go down.....conversely, it probably increased it because it meant jeff didnt have the motivation to get the room finished!

well, yesterday, we put levi to nap in our bed, so his room was empty, and jeff's friend came over to help jeff empty out the study and put all of the baby furniture previously in levi's room into fiffy-fiffy's room....the crib needed to be taken apart to actually get it out of levi's room, which was something we did not realize had to be done....and instead of taking 3-4 hours like we originally thought, the process took about 8 hours....BUT- who cares. its done now!
and the great thing is that jeff's friend needed a ton of stuff for his apartment, so we were able to just give it to him instead of trying to figure out what to do with it, list it on craig's list, or where to keep it temporarily....(including the old TV and entertainment center from the basement! i think it was definitely a fair trade for helping us with this crazy 8 hour task!).

There is nothing on the walls, and it probably could use a fresh coat of paint, but we're not worrying about it right now. at least the room looks decent and its set up. the crib, changing table, dresser, bookshelf, rocking chair, AND queen size bed all fit nicely. the closet is emptied, and all of the baby clothes are neatly arranged in the drawers already (my job done well today!). and i feel ready. finally.

one of the little roadbumps i hit with this furniture move was realizing that ummm- now that levi's dresser and changing table are not in his room, where do i put his diapers/wipes AND his pajamas and stuff i kept in the dresser??? initially i ended up with the furniture in the baby's room filled with levi's clothes, so when i went to get him dressed this morning, i realized i needed to go in there to get socks and pants....not too convenient...
so, i went to target, bought a hanging shelf thingy for levi's closet, and voila! problem fixed now!!!

when levi woke up from his nap yesterday and he went into his room, he looked around and said- where is levi's changing table? where is the crib? so i showed him fiffy-fiffy's room and he seemed to understand. now he has been talking about the crib for fiffy-fiffy and that levi is a big boy so he doesnt need it anymore....i hope he doesnt panic when the baby actually arrives and he realizes that the crib really is not for levi anymore but for the new baby.

now my next step is to look for some cute decorations for the walls....perhaps we'll wait until we see if fiffy is a boy or a girl to decide what exactly we should put up.

levi is absolutely sure that the baby is a girl. he has told me many times that fiffy-fiffy is a girl- NOT a boy. he is going to have a "yittle sister", not a "yittle brother"....so, i guess we'll see if he's right....

Congrats!!

2009-03-05T08:07:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Jami and Joey!!! I couldn't be happier for the two of you! I'm so excited to hold and play with all the new babies on Eaton Road. I won't have to share with anyone!!!

On a side note, does this mean Matt & I have to get a dog?

my office throws a good party, too bad my BP is so high

2009-03-04T14:19:00.003-05:00

my office decided to throw me a baby shower, and did all this planning behind my back, but last week told me about it so i didnt make plans during lunch today....
all of the offices blocked time at lunch, and came out to the new office where i work and brought lunch and presents!

it was so nice having everyone together, although its sometimes hard for me being the center of attention- i get uncomfortable. and i also felt a tiny bit uncomfortable since i already have levi and i think its funny to have a shower for a second baby....BUT, im not complaining. it was VERY VERY nice of everyone.

the food was fabulous (i didnt eat enough because i was so overwhelmed, and i ended up with a blood sugar of 63 AFTER lunch- so i just ate more cake!), and the cake was delicious, moist, half chocolate, half white.....

now that its over, the office is cleaned up, i just want to go to my car and re-inspect all the gifts! my friends were nice to bring everything to my car so i didnt have to do it after work today, but i just want to look at everything again now and enjoy my new stuff!!!!!

In other news, last night, after lying on the couch watching american idol in HD on my new awesome TV, i went upstairs to get changed into PJs and took one look at my legs and almost cried- elephant feet again, but this time, to the 10th degree.....i immediately took my BP and it was 140/100 (AFTER relaxing for 2 hours watching american idol no-less- not like i was running around, cleaning, or cooking)....i also weighed myself....so, after being up all night peeing out 7 pounds of water- literally, i took my blood pressure upon waking this AM and it was 140/90. CRAP!!!! normally, if i take it in the morning, its around 110/60, but it goes up after moving around a bit.

this is bad news...

jeff and i had a little talk with fiffy-fiffy saying that we want the baby to stay inside for a couple more weeks, and to relax a bit....and then we made a plan- im working today, all day (especially since i had this shower today at work and i didnt want to miss my own party!). and check my BP multiple times today, and also work tomorrow morning. My OB appt is tomorrow afternoon and I guess we'll have to wait and see what my Dr says then....

can i still work? could i possibly work half days until my c-section? do i have to go on bedrest? do we have to deliver the baby now? all of these questions are running through my head and im sure the stress is not helping my blood pressure....

3rd time is a charm?!

2009-03-04T14:16:00.003-05:00

We're saying the first two rounds were practice and the 3rd time is the real deal! I can't tell you how excited I am to announce that I'm 11 weeks pregnant! I'm due on 9/22/09.

Yesterday was my 11 week ultrasound - we saw a great heartbeat and a growing baby - it was such a relief and I finally feel like I can relax a little bit. Joey is getting excited too - I think it was great for him to see the heartbeat and know there really is a baby in my belly!

We have a good record for getting pregnant - 3/4 months we've tried has resulted in a pregnancy - now I think we have the medications right to keep me preggo! The day we found out this time I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and decided to take a digital test - to my suprise it said PREGNANT - I was giddy! I left the test on the sink in the bathroom and went back to bed. Joey went to the bathroom to get ready for the day and walked back into the bedroom with wide eyes saying "Seriously?!" It was exciting and nerve wracking all at once.

I hesitantly called the doctors office and he ordered labs to be drawn - I had a good starting number. 3 days later another level and it had tripled. Whew! The following week I had it drawn again just to make sure it was still heading in the right direction and it was. I still wasn't letting myself get excited even though the levels were good and I was further along than I had been yet because I was scared. Then the nausea kicked in. Not the best time to be on a cruise ship!

I do not deal well with nausea and I DO NOT vomit. I think that is the reason I have yet to vomit - I just try to deal with it (though I don't do a very good job at times - Joey is sick of hearing me say "I think this time I'm really going to puke") I do A LOT of gagging/dry heaving but no vomit. Zofran is my life saver at times. I lost 3 pounds at my first appointment but I've gained 4 in the last month. I'm attributing it to my diet of carbs with a side of carbs because veggies make me want to gag. I'm hoping to get back to my healthy diet soon!

I'm really wanting to relax and enjoy the pregnancy - meeting the new members of Eaton Road in the next few weeks will be a good distraction!

Marni - can you put up a baby Klein ticker now? Thanks!

How I'm not ready for a baby, let me count the ways

2009-03-04T11:09:00.000-05:00

Aside from the 'horror' stories that my pregnant friends share, I have several reasons why I am not ready for a baby:
I like my sleep
I like wine, a lot
I like meeting up with friends after work for catching up and a quick bite to eat
I like working out at the gym
I like not feeling sick to my stomach
I like the clothes I own
I'm trying to lose weight, not gain
It's hard enough keeping the house clean after my husband (let alone children)
I like to travel
It's hard enough getting myself out the door in the morning (or any other time)
I like cheese, a lot
I could go on and on but didnt want to take up too much of our time. Please feel free to add to the list (or counter, if you wish)!

Induction Seduction

2009-03-02T20:55:00.002-05:00

Looks like Baby B may be arriving sooner than we thought. At my doctor's appointment today I learned that so long as my blood pressure stays elevated I will not be making it to my due date. Translation: looks like I will probably be getting induced at 39 weeks (sooner if the BP keeps going up and staying up). Now, this only shaves a week off my due date, but the thought of having the baby this month has sent me into a tizzy. Here, I have been planning to just wait it out, probably several days to a week past the due date (given my extensive family history of going way late). But now, faced with the prospect of bumping it up I am all nervous. April 3rd feels a lot farther away than March 27th. Yikes! On the other hand, my mother couldn't be more thrilled. In fact, she said she hopes it comes even sooner - so long as the baby is safe (gee, thanks mom). She was all giddy with excitement when I told her she will probably have a grandchild this month.

The major downside to this is the extreme pressure I am under at work to get a ton of things accomoplished or sufficiently wrangled to hand off to my boss for three months. Shaving a week off my time to complete my "to do" list is a big blow. What's even more pressure is that I still keep getting projects assigned to me. And not just little things either - big, brief writing projects that will take me hours and hours to complete. Those types of projects I usually do on evenings and weekends because I couldn't otherwise complete my regular work. The problem is, I just can't work those hours anymore because I am simply exhausted. My doctor has given me persmission to tell my boss that as a result of my blood pressure, which is significantly affected by stress levels, I will need to deliver early, and that could mean as early as next week if things don't change a bit. We'll see how that works. Keep your fingers crossed - my boss is an understanding and sensitive individual, but he would still much rather have me continue to do all of the briefwriting.

Under the Weather Again

2009-02-25T10:29:00.003-05:00

Sometime in my first trimester, I came down with a nasty headcold that just wouldn't quit and kept me at home for several days. Now, as I am coming into the home stretch I am hit with another nasty head cold. I figured it would be a nice way to come full circle with the pregnancy. Unfortunately, due to my impending leave and the tons of things to accomplish, I haven't been able to stay home. Although, I have to admit that I have not been really productive at work - mostly just holding the warm tea mug to my cheeks and wishing the time to go faster. I hate colds. They suck. They just hang around and there is nothing you can do to make them go away. Blah.

But, even in the midst of this temporary misery, I am feeling really good about our preparations for the baby. The nursery is ready with a month to spare and there are only a few more immediate necessities to pick up - like diapers. I still can't believe how soon this baby will be here, though. I have been making plans for things to do in March and it is dawning on me how little time there is left. And I have been having silly thoughts lately, like, 'the next time I buy toothpaste I will be somebody's mom.' At this point, it's just a waiting game to ride out the last weeks of pregnancy.

Parental Advisory

2009-02-23T08:03:00.002-05:00

The other day I had the joy of riding shot gun with Marni. I was even luckier to be serenaded with some of Levi's favorite songs. I browsed the CD cases to educate myself on the music. To my surprise (and joy!) there were several selections by some of my favorite artists. O.A.R., Cake and Bare Naked Ladies, just to name a few. These are groups I've been listening to for years. Listening to these voices brought back visions of various concerts and college memories. Had you told me 10 years ago that I'd be listening to Cake on a children's CD, I would have laughed in your face. These are life's little surprises. What is even more surprising? I actually enjoyed the songs! I'm going to have to keep these CD's in mind for future baby gifts, perhaps. Check 'em out for yourself, 'For the Kids' and there are a few volumes, maybe more. Don't worry though, you can still catch the grown up versions in my ride!

jealous already

2009-02-21T13:08:00.004-05:00

this morning, i was wrapping a baby gift for a friend, and levi was sitting next to me watching.

he picked up an article of clothing and said "i want this".
and had big wet tears when i told him it was not for him, it was for a baby.

then he saw a stuffed animal for fiffy-fiffy given to us by a friend, and he took that and held on, saying "this is mine".
again, i explained the stuffed animal was for fiffy-fiffy and that fiffy-fiffy will be getting some news toys and books and clothes.
I also told him that when levi was a baby, he got a lot of new toys and clothes too.
but he did not like that answer. he just cried and cried and cried.

now jeff and i are starting to realize what we are in for....

its hard to make a two year old understand what is going on, and although we are trying really hard to prepare him as much as possible, there is definitely going to be some jealousy....

i guess we're going to have to go out and get levi a whole bunch of new stuff too to help him get over all the gifts for the baby....

any suggestions/thoughts from people out there that have more than one child?

hiccups

2009-02-18T20:36:00.003-05:00

i never felt hiccups when i was pregnant with levi.....

and today- hiccups! lots of them! little rhythmic blips that lasted about 15 minutes this afternoon, and started again before dinner....

its cute!

now all i picture is a little drunken sailor hiccupping away in my belly....

I feel like all I do is complain....

2009-02-17T20:11:00.002-05:00

I have to change that!!! Why do I complain so much???
So, I should start with the good stuff. My friend vanessa came to visit a few weeks ago and gave me a wonderful birthday present of "shea cashmere bath products" from bath and body works....ever since I told her I was having a problem with keeping clean and taking showers, she has been laughing and thinking it is really funny, and gave me this gift as kind of an incentive to "be clean".
well, it worked!!!! the stuff smells like butterscotch or burnt sugar and smells so yummy i want to eat it or lick it! and im taking a shower everyday (mostly!).
I also indulged a little and bought archipelago "morning mint" lotion from joseph beth and moisturize my skin in the morning after my shower, and i feel lady like and girly and clean and happy!!!! what happened???? im liking my new girliness.....now i just have to get up the energy to actually shave my legs....
now the other stuff.....my legs are one to start- they look like elephants. im really swollen with pitting edema (when you press your finger in, an indentation stays there) up to my knees....this is what happened last time when my blood pressure started to rise....so, off to the OB i went, and yep- i was right- blood pressure is up....so, now im taking my blood pressure a couple times per day, and when it gets too high, that means im done working....
so, ive made some changes at work to allow myself more sitting time and less movement....and hopefully the changes allow me to work up until the baby arrives.....but we'll see!!!! im keeping march 20th on my calendar...and i want to make it all the way there....
we have lots to do before the baby comes and i feel like time is running out. and jeff just realized (i hadnt even thought about it either!) that there are still some things we need to get before the new baby comes.....like a diaper bin and a double stroller and some other little things...and we need to figure out who we lent all of our bouncers to and get all levi's old baby stuff out of the basement....
ok, marni, stop thinking.....the thinking and thinking and thinking is causing stressing and stressing and stressing which is causing my blood pressure to rise. i think it would be nice to go to sleep and wake up having it all done for me! what i would do for a genie in a bottle right now.

Baby Head and Baby Feet

2009-02-17T09:57:00.003-05:00

I got to meet with my OB yesterday and after some pushing around, she was able to determine that the baby is definitely sideways. And, the reason for all the pain I have been having is that there is a hard little head pusing on the ligament on my left side. So, the aches and pains that have come with the stretching of the ligament are just seriously intensified because there is extra pressure on it. I just have to keep changing position when it gets bad. But something else is that baby B does not like to stay curled up all the time. I have been feeling kicks so far to the right side that they are practically in my back. The OB says the baby is just stretching out (gee, thanks).

All in all the doctor was pleased because the baby is starting to move in the right direction for delivery!

Baby Furniture Has Arrived!!

2009-02-16T10:57:00.006-05:00

Friday moring, right on time, our baby furniture was delivered. It was a really exciting moment because, even though we painted and had our area rug down, the baby's room still just felt like "a room". Now, the furniture is in and looks fantastic. Now, we have "a nursery." Although the only thing "baby" about it at this point is the crib, that's fine with me. It feels low key and relaxing and that is exactly what we were going for. The dogs caught the relaxed vibe too, I think. We let them in yesterday and they just sniffed around and then stretched out on the rug. We have a crib, a dresser/changing table, and SUPER comfy gliding/swivelling stuffed chair and ottoman. We picked up a floor lamp and small table lamp and now all we have to do is put up the artwork. Future plans include putting up shelves that we have, and cubby-type book/toy shelves but those won't be needed right away.

In other news, this baby is still laying SIDEWAYS and, let me tell you, there really isn't sufficient room left to be in that position. Most of the time I have a hard little head in my side. I have been in particularly "uncomfortable" pain since last Friday that goes down to my knees. Luckily, I see the doctor today and while she probably won't do anything to fix the situation, I can at least bring it to her attention to make sure there isn't a problem. At this point, I am starting to look forward to the finish line because things are beginning to get pretty uncomfortable on a regular basis.

Less than 7 weeks left at this point!

Funny Story...

2009-02-09T16:11:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago Matt and I were out and about running errands. At Lowe's they had a display at the end of one aisle with some type of construction worker toy set, complete with hard hat, tool belt and all the necessary construction worker tools. This would be awesome for Levi! I pointed my find out to Matt who looked at the set, looked back at me and said, 'Levi is way too young for that' I looked at Matt, looked back at the toy set, 'Get out of here, it's perfect for Levi'. I marched right over to the display and plucked a package from the grouping. There on the back, in big letters, 'Ages 7+' I obviously have no idea what is age appropriate. Maybe I should leave the toy selections to Matt from now on.

Two Big Projects Down

2009-02-07T23:23:00.002-05:00

Today was a very busy day in the Botnick house. We finally got to tackle two big projects we really needed to get to before baby B arrives. Thanks to my mom and her husband, we were able to accomplish both of them in a single day.

The first project was painting the baby's room. I am very meticulous about painting, so I carefully tape all of the woodwork off and the ceiling edge against the wall so that we have nice clean lines. As I did that, Bobby moved all of the furniture out of the room. Then my mom arrived, we put down the drop cloths and got to work. I got edge out the room (which I love to do) while Bobby and my mom's husband rolled the walls. And lucky for us it was plenty warm enough to open and window and let the fumes out. After two coats of paint, I pulled down the tape and pulled up the drop clothes. Then, I got to test out my awesome new floor scrubber (which I LOVE) and cleaned the nursery floor with my magic mix of white vinegar and hot water. The room looks fantastic. I also put the crib mattress in there to air out and tomorrow we'll lay out the new area rug to do the same. Our furniture gets delivered in a week and we'll be practically set! I am psyched to see it finished!

While all of this was going on we were actually able to multi-task a second project - removing the shower doors in our guest bathroom. We plan on using this bathroom with the baby because it is bigger and has a tub while our master bath only has a shower. The only problem is that it had these big doors that just weren't going to work if I plan on bathing a child in there. The doors were framed with 2x4s with tile facade, and this really ugly scalloped border. We were able to get all of that down, scrape off the leftover apoxy, fill and sand problems areas and paint. Then, we hung a really nice curved curtain rod and a nice new shower curtain. It looks great and seems to really open up the bathroom. Plus, the major eyesore of the scalloped border is blissfully behind us.

I feel so relieved that these projects are complete because I knew they were going to be the most time intensive and I was worried they just weren't going to get done. And it was REALLY nice to have my mom and her husband help us out - they seem to know how to do absolutely any household project, so Bobby and I always try to learn new things from them when they come over. Now, we only have little projects left, including finishing the art project for the baby's room.

We're getting closer!!!

Lamaze: Bobby is Having a Baby Too!

2009-02-04T22:20:00.002-05:00

Tonight was our very first lamaze class. I don't have specific plans or goals for the birth (other than that everyone makes it through safely and that I can avoid surgery or vacuum). However, I have always thought that I would like to try and labor as long as I feel able to naturally, then get an epidural so I can rest up for the big push. Who knows, I may decide that the doctor should meet me at my car to start pumping the drugs. On the other hand, I may find that I want to take it natural all the way. Since I would like to experience labor, I thought it would make sense to take a Lamaze class. Plus, I heard great stories from Marni about the great people she met and the friends she made.

So we went. We had our two pillows, our blanket, and our very active fetus baby with us. After some ice breakers we split the men from the women and I learned that just about everyone else in the class lives far away - Newbury, Concord, Macedonia, etc. Also, some people aren't even due until the end of May, which I found surprising. We actually have the earliest due date in the class. And while I don't know that I will have Marni's good fortune, it was nice to commiserate with other first time pregnant ladies and I think Bobby had a nice time talking to other first-time almost dads.

But the highlight of the evening was when the instructor said to the men "who would like to feel what it is like to be pregnant?" Just who do you think raised his hand right away? That's right, my husband. I am not sure if he was just curious, of if he wanted to see if it really is as challenging as I tell him. Either way, he got a big belly (with big boobs) strapped onto him. Then the instructor had him try and pick something up off the floor, and simulated what it is like to try and get comfortable at night and constantly have to change positions. I think he got the point. The only problem was that the instructor wouldn't let him take it off! She kept telling him - you're not due yet, sorry. At first it was funny, but then it got obnoxious and a little absurd. Even when we got to the relaxation at the end, he wasn't allowed to take it off so he really couldn't do the things she was instructing the coaches to do. But overall, I think he has a new appreciation for my situation. Plus, we got a "belly-to-belly" photo of the two of us which is funny.

can i complain for a minute?

2009-02-02T20:39:00.003-05:00

my lower back hurts.....
thats how it started at least....

i felt like i was walking funny at work this morning, like my belly was sticking out extra far, and i just couldnt straighten out my back...and i didnt understand it because nothing really hurt...

then, as the day went on, the sides of both of my legs went totally numb to the knees, and my lower back started to hurt...

now, im hunched over as i walk and it is getting worse....

im done complaining....now i just ask for some suggestions- HELP! I NEED TO GET BETTER QUICK!!!

Time Flies When You Are Not the Pregnant One!

2009-01-28T10:26:00.001-05:00

I can not wait to meet Baby Botnick and Baby Turell! When I first found out that Marni and Abby were pregnant, I thought it would feel like forever until we got to meet the little ones! I could not have been more wrong! Time has flown and I am more excited than ever to meet the new Eaton Road babies! I know it's still weeks away, but I've got my eye on the little counter!

prenatal massage

2009-01-26T14:05:00.002-05:00

for my birthday from my wonderful husband, i was scheduled for a 90 minute prenatal massage at ladies and gentlemen at legacy village....
and i have to say it was the best 90 minutes of my pregnancy!!!! and perhaps ever!
ladies and gentlemen's massages are always awesome, with the foot soak and the aromatherapy, but perhaps it was because i am so stressed, so tired, swollen, achy, with body pains that this massage just seemed above and beyond any other one ive ever had!
i chose a vanilla peppermint aroma and had an oil hair therapy to start- and my hair is shiny, soft, and luxurious today!!!! (i actually showered, washed it, and blew it dry today too- i feel like a new woman!). and of course the back and feet part of the massage was heavenly....i want one again today, and tomorrow, and the next day....too bad theyre so expensive! (but worth every penny, i promise!)...
I recommend getting one of these fabulous spa treatments to all soon to be mamas- you wont regret it one bit!!!!

dates, scheduling, and the march of dimes...

2009-01-22T14:40:00.003-05:00

The march of dimes has starting this massive campaign to end inductions and c-sections before 39 weeks. Before 39 weeks, there is increased incidence of respiratory issues with newborns, so gone are days of 38 week planned deliveries. I am not sure if all hospitals are being so strict on this measure, but UH certainly is, as my OB and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago about scheduling my repeat c-section. I had figured out that March 23rd would be 38 and 4 days and that Mondays are my OB's hospital day, so that would be a perfect date for scheduling. I guess I also took into account that Jeff's vacation starts that day (lucky planning!), but i KNOW that really isnt a good reason to plan a delivery. I just figured with the diabetes, it would be perfect. My OB initially seemed to be hesitant, because although he agrees that the baby should be born a little earlier just because of the diabetes, his hospital is being restrictive and does not want to schedule anything before 39 weeks! So, we just left it alone and said we would discuss it at a later date.....come today- the later date.
i mentioned the date again and he agreed- we really shouldnt wait any later than that, and with the diabetes, the risk to the baby increases at the very end of pregnancy, so i really shouldnt wait until after 39 weeks. Initially, based on my LMP, my due date would have been March 26th, but then with early labs and ultrasounds, we changed that date to april 2nd....but now that those extra few days really really do make a huge difference to the hospital and scheduling and march of dimes, it looks like we're moving my date back to march 26th....
and although it is not official yet, and although it is all dependent on how my pregnancy progresses and how my sugar control and blood pressure are doing, my scheduled c-section date will be friday march 20th......(and ive come to find out, my OB works in the hospital on friday too!).
8 weeks from tomorrow!!!! the time is flying by!

Preeclampsia? Hypertension?

2009-01-19T19:17:00.002-05:00

So a week ago I suffered what only could have been a panic attack. After visiting with friends and their new baby, I felt incredibly overwhelmed. Well, that's an understatement. It was more like I was suffocating. A visit that should have made me excited about our impending delivery only left me feeling anxious, conflicted, and depressed. And the next day I got to go to work and face a huge union labor blow-up where the responsibility fell on me to put together tons of things to file in federal court. It was not the best day. To top it off, I saw my OB in the afternoon for my regular appointment and my blood pressure was sky high.

I tried to explain that it had been a really stressful couple of days. But, that didn't allay my OB's fears and she started to talk to me about preeclampsia. I already knew what she meant, because early on in the pregnancy I had already read the "what could go wrong" section in my pregnancy books. (Hey, I like to be prepared for the worst, don't judge). So I knew this was not a good thing. I got to take another trip down to the lab, where my new friends there said "why are you back again?!!" But they were nice enough to show concern and ask how the glucose test went. I was relieved when I got a mychart message and a phone call the next day telling me the results were normal.

Today was my follow-up, and I figured I would just waltz in, be there for 10 minutes, and everything would be fine. Not so. The first BP reading they took was a LOT higher than last week. Then, after the nurse had me do some relaxation imagery, they took it again. It came down a bit, but still higher than last week. I still think I am ok, because everything else has been normal, but my OB is still being cautious (which I prefer anyway) and is having me check my BP twice a day for the next week. Then, I have to take the day off work tomorrow so I can (TMI***) collect all of my urine for the following 24 hours. Joy.

On the bright side, the doc says it might just be plain old regular hypertension - a wonderful family trait passed down for generations. She says it poses no danger to me or the baby during pregnancy, but that it can also show me a glimpse into my future. Like I didn't know that already.

I would obviously choose generic high BP over preeclampsia any day. Keep your fingers crossed.

Almost Done

2009-01-09T16:37:00.002-05:00

It's hard to believe that approximately 12 weeks from now I will become a mom. It still doesn't seem real - like somehow the pregancy will just go on forever. We first found out in July, and that seems like eons ago, but the time went so fast. The fact that there is so little time left brings me a lot of excitement but plenty of nervousness as well.

We've signed up for birthing class, pretty much figured out the nursery (though we still have to paint and get the furniture delivered), lined up child care options, and have some items purchased. Next on the agenda is meeting with a few pediatricians to pick who we like best. And while I look forward to the end and moving on the next stage, there are things I will miss about the preganancy.

Sure, the first trimester was terrible - I hope I totally forget about it. But now I feel pretty good over all. I do have some issues, such as pelvic pain, indigestion, and acid reflux. Plus, I get tired early. But on the whole I feel pretty great. Now I'll just have to see what the next few months brings. I am sure there will be more unpleasantries, but I am ready and the time will fly by.

But I love having a pregnancy belly. It completely disguises any lingering flabbiness I had before I got pregnant, and I think it looks great. The days of sucking in are (temporarily) over! Also, I have been surprised to see that I have still retained my curves, which means my waist is still there to some extent.

I also love feeling the baby move around. It is so surreal and it nearly always leads me to imagine what is going on in there - was that a kick, a punch, an elbow, a foot? I like to try and decipher how the baby is laying if I can. In any event, there is no doubt when the baby is using it's head. I am at the point now when, if I am lying down, I can often tell where the head is and feel a hard rounded area pushing on my side or abdomen. It is so cool (though at times pretty uncomfortable!).

It's also sort of nice to know I am never alone. When I am at work trying to figure out a difficult situation with opposing counsel and it gets heated, or in court about to have a difficult hearing, I just think "hey, there's a baby inside me just hanging out." It sort of helps me put things in perspective and not feel so so anxious about the issue at hand.

I know these next 12 weeks are going to move really fast, so I better try and enjoy them. I will be a little sad when it is over, but it will also bring about a whole new and exciting experience.

Keep baking Baby B. and we'll see you soon!

welcome to the third trimester....

2009-01-08T20:53:00.002-05:00

28 weeks! yippee!!! what a milestone....i had my OB appointment today and everything is looking "perfect" in my OB's words- although with gestational diabetes, on insulin 4 times per day, with hands so swollen my rings dont fit, and feet so swollen im only wearing backless clogs so i can slip them off my feet easily when im sitting at my desk, and with a total of approximately 3 hours of sleep per night, perfect is probably not the word i would use to describe it.
i do have to say that i am extremely happy and the baby seems to be doing great, so that is a BIG relief! and im making due with my mile long list of complaints....i know every little pain, every little instant of exhaustion, every minute of this pregnancy is worth it and i'll forget every second of unhappiness when i have a beautiful (hopefully healthy) baby in my arms....
im not unhappy, dont get me wrong. i think im just so tired all the time i can hardly think of anything else! i am not really sure how i get through my days...how i function well at work (although i know my judgement is NOT compromised), and what i do with the extra time im awake at night! (i am already halfway through "breaking dawn"- book 4 in the twilight series- so i guess thats where my time goes! good thing i have something interesting to do when i wish i was sleeping!).
when i was 23 weeks, i started contracting. i saw my OB immediately because i was absolutely horrified at what was happening- especially since i have never actually had a real contraction because when i was pregnant with levi, my two inductions failed and i had no labor at all, hence the c-section in the end....but i felt i was truly contracting at 23 weeks and i was panic stricken, which made things worse. it turns out, the baby was transverse and the uterus was trying its hardest to move the baby to a more comfortable and roomy position, and my OB was absolutely wonderful reassuring me that it was normal and that i should relax for a day or two and i would be fine (which, obviously i was). but it scared me and since then, i have not let jeff touch me for fear that it could set off contractions again. (sorry jeff, and sorry everyone if you all think that is TMI).
its really funny....again, maybe too much information for some of you....BUT, with my last pregnancy, when i was in my second trimester especially, all i wanted to do all day, every day, was have sex. sex in the morning. sex at night. sex after work. sex in the shower. i wanted to watch porn. i tried some insane positions when my belly got in the way. i was a sex crazed maniac- literally. so when jeff and i decided to try to get pregnant again, he was absolutely beside himself excited about me getting pregnant- for obvious reasons.....well- sorry jeff. this pregnancy is what i call ABSOLUTELY opposite. i have no interest in sex whatsoever. i have no interest in cuddling, touching, holding, even lying next to each other in bed! i have banished jeff to 1/4 of the king size bed, i take up 3/4 of the bed and if he invades my space, i kick and push until he retreats.
everyone says that the type of pregnancy you have has no bearing on what sex the baby is....but this one is so different than the last, could it mean im having a girl? i guess we'll find out in about 12 weeks.....

Rounding Third and Heading Home

2009-01-08T16:07:00.001-05:00

Congrats to Marni on hitting the third trimester! I start mine tomorrow and I can't believe how fast this has all gone!!!

No Diabetes!!!

2009-01-08T10:58:00.003-05:00

So after eating some extra carbs over the weekend as instructed, I reported first thing Monday morning for my 3-hour glucose test. I knew it was going to difficult, since my stomach was already growling at 8am, but I brought One Drop to finish reading and take my mind off the situation. After three hours of sitting (Cleveland Clinic really needs more comfortable chairs), four blood draws, and a bottle of super-sweet drink I got to finally leave the lab and have some much needed lunch and something to drink (water . . . not a mojito).

I will say that sitting in the lab makes for some interesting people watching. Early in the morning there were some professional-looking people and a few fellow preggos getting their 1 hour test done (including one overly obnoxious one who was loudly discussing with her husband what to put on their baby registry - we get it, you're pregnant). Then came the moms (and a couple dads) with little kids. For the next hour or so there was non-stop crying and screaming coming from the blood draw room. Literally. They must have overlapped the kids so that one started screaming before the other one stopped. After that came the 65+ crowd. They were by far the most interesting. First off, they all loved to talk. They talked to each other, they talk to the lab technicians, they talk to themselves. Second, they were all hard of hearing and talked really loudly. Third, they all loved to talk to each other loudly about their medical conditions. There was one guy who, whenever anyone walked in, he would ask "what are you in for?" It was amazing to me how everyone was so free about talking about totally personal information. I tried to just hide in my book so that I wouldn't have to face 20 questions. It was also funny how they were all sharing their ages. For instance, there was a conversation between two men where one man, after introducing himself to the other said, "Can you believe I am going to be 89 next week?" It was really sort of funny, like something new to brag about after you retire and your kids are grown and gone. All in all, not a terrible experience.

The good news is that my test results came back normal. Thank you pancreas.

MTHFR

2009-01-02T12:43:00.002-05:00

Yes, that's what I call it too! The mother f*%#er gene........after 14 vials of blood to figure out why I've now had 2 miscarriages - heterozygous MTHFR gene and an elevated ANA titre are what were found. Niether of this issues are proven to be a cause of miscarriage but could be the issue. There is one test I've yet to do since the test must be done on certain days of the cycle - HSG - a ultrasound where they inject dye into my uterus to see if there are any structural issues with my uterus such as a septum. Both months since my miscarriage the testing days have been Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ugh.

MTHFR has several forms and lucky for me the heterozygous form is the "best" one to have. It has to do with the way my body is able to process folic acid and is a clotting issue. The treatment is high dose folic acid and an 81mg aspirin daily. The homozygous form mandates lovenox or heparin injections daily during pregnancy. If I have another miscarriage we will try lovenox. At the recommendation of my endocrinologist, the next cycle we try to conceive I have the pleasure of using progesterone suppositories cycle day 17-28 (if I'm pregnant I get to use them for 10-12 weeks and if I'm not pregnant I stop them for that cycle so I will then have my period).

To be honest, I'm not sure what we'll do if I have another miscarriage. We may choose surrogacy or adoption rather than going through the emotional roller coaster again. We'll cross that bridge if we get there. My hope and prayer is the 3rd time is a charm.

A Bit of Scare and More Yucky Glucose to Drink

2008-12-30T09:52:00.003-05:00

So up until recently, I have been very fortunate to have an uneventful pregnancy. Sure, I felt sick as a dog for a while, and have other fun things that go with the package, but everything was going smoothly. Until last weekend.

On Saturday morning, I was walking through my living room when, (***TMI ALERT***) I suddenly felt very wet. I looked down and saw that I was wet even through my sweatpants. I reached down to check things out, so to speak, and found my hands covered in water. Then, it stopped and everything returned to normal. I felt fine. I wasn't in pain and didn't have any cramps, so I didn't think it was necessary to call the doctor. Bobby felt very different about that, so I ended up calling the answering service and talking to the doctor on call. He told me to go into labor and delivery right away to get checked out. So, we dressed and headed out to Hillcrest. I considered it a practice run and it really didn't take that long to get there. The worst part was getting to the hospital and finding it to be a warzone and no close parking. We'll have to take this into consideration when the real deal happens in the spring.

I L&D I got put in a crappy gown and hooked up to a fetal monitor. Luckily, it was evident right away that the baby was doing fine. It was bopping around like nothing was wrong and couldn't have cared less about what happened. This was good, but then came the exam. First, the on-call doctor from the practice I go to must have been busy, because they sent in a D.O. who looked totally disheveled and whom I am fairly certain just got woken up from a nap on a cot somewhere. He seemed sort of stoned, even (figuratively, not literally of course). He performed just about the most uncomfortable pelvic exam I have ever had. I am so used to my doctor just going in quickly and getting the job done in a pain free way. This guy jams in the speculum like it's nothing and then keeps walking away and leaving it in while he does other things. After what seemed like an eternity he finally finished. Bobby was a little shell-shocked from that experience, but I guess it is good practice for when all kinds of people will be checking things out down there during labor and delivery.

In the end, the stoney D.O. said that he didn't think it was amniotic fluid based upon his look under the microscope. And based upon other things they didn't think it was pre-term labor, but they sent off an fFN test to check things out.

All in all, it wasn't a bad experience since the results turned out ok. And we loved the nurse we had - I just hope she's there when the main even occurs!

After that stressful day, I thought I could relax, knowing that all I had to do was follow-up with my doctor this week. I went for my 1-hour glucose test Monday morning and put a call in to the office to get a follow-up appointment. The nurse called back to tell me that my fFN test was positive, which could indicate a risk of pre-term labor in the next few weeks. Obviously, this would not be good since the baby still has quite a few weeks to go. So, she set me up with an ultrasound and appointment in the afternoon.

After being nervous all day and hardly able to work, we got to have our ultrasound. We were very reassured to hear that that fluid level looks great and that my cervix is still "8 miles long" and shut tight. They also checked out the baby again so we got to have another look, which was fun. And we finally got our cute profile shot. In the end, I was instructed to take things easy, keep tabs on any symptoms or issues, and call right away with a problem. It was a big relief.

Then I got another call this morning from the nurse telling me that my glucose test results were in and I fell just 3 points above the "normal" cutoff line. The hits just keep in coming! So, I get to head back to the lab next Tuesday to do my 3-hour test. Hopefully, that will put an end to issues and get us back on the smooth sailing track.

do i smell?

2008-12-16T11:08:00.002-05:00

dont think im gross.
i cant tell if im just lazy, or if it is that im cold all the time and dont want to be colder, or if i am just so tired i cant get up the energy....
BUT-
I dont want to take a shower.
seriously. i just dont feel like it.
i make sure i dont smell- and i take a shower when i really need to. but most of the time, its more like every other day instead of every day.
i used to be the kind of person compulsive about showering- showering every morning for sure, and sometimes in the evening if i had a really "sick" day at work.
but now, i just dont understand it.
my friend vanessa told me yesterday that for sure it means im having a girl- since they say "girls take all your beauty".....she has a 50% chance of being right! who knows....
but i do promise, for now i'll try to shower a little more often.

6 Months Along ... Wait, That Means Only 4 Left

2008-12-09T17:45:00.003-05:00

It's like I woke up today and realized that I have hardly any time left to get organized! We are on track with things - baby furniture ordered, registry started, looking into lamaze classes, pediatricians, and child care, but I still feel like I won't get things done on time. And my pregnancy brain is worse than ever, totally killing my normally stellar memory.

Things I have done recently:
1. Put a new container of ice cream in the fridge after shopping - and not discovering it until more than 24 hours later when I went in the freezer for ice cream and learned it was a puddle.

2. Printed out important estate planning documents rather than e-mailing them to the client, which I only discovered when the client asked me where the were several days later.

3. Talked to a client for several minutes about "her case" only to realize I was explaining something going on in a totally different case (the weirder part may be that the client didn't bother to interrupt me and tell me she had no idea what I was talking about)

I feel like I am forgetting everything, and at a really busy time of year when I am trying to settle 15 different cases, that is not good - at this time it is crucial to be able to keep things organized and straight.

I did just make a list of projects to accomplish at home after the first of the year - mostly all are nursery or baby-related. Hopefully by making a list I can remember to do them all. Too bad it doesn't mean they will magically get accomplished without me!

Virginia, There is a Santa Claus (or is there?)

2008-12-08T15:26:00.000-05:00

Thank you 3rd Generation Working Mom for blogging inspiration! I'm getting a little nervous that I might be kicked out of the Baby Fever blog since I've been a delinquent poster. Anyway, here goes.....

'Is Santa Claus a lie?' I suppose that depends on what you consider a lie. I think of Santa Claus as a fib or little white lie, possibly even a secret (see below). I don't really remember believing in Santa Claus, although I'm positive I did at some point. I do, however remember my brother believing in Santa Claus and working out a deal with him once I could no longer keep the secret (here is where I consider it a secret) any longer...if we tell mom and dad you still believe in Santa, they will still buy us presents. So we went with it, for a really long time. In fact, so long that there came a time when my dad sat my brother down and told him Santa didn't exist, then the whole deal came out and my parents got a good laugh.

That being said, I'm not sure I'll shower my (fake) children with gifts from Santa. Yes, they'll get gifts, plenty of them of them from Mom and Dad for Christmas AND Hanukkah, but not from Santa or Hanukkah Harry. I remember thinking that the whole idea of Santa was so silly, of course one man can not fly all around the world in one night giving gifts to all the children while being led by reindeer. I would think, 'who believes that crap?'

When I was a teenager, my grandfather shared stories with me of his childhood Christmases. My grandfather was raised by strict Italian immigrant parents and many of his experiences were those of the old world. He explained to me that when he was a child, Christmas here in the US was very different from Christmas in Italy, where Santa did not exist. When my great grandparents came here they were horrified of the idea of 'telling their children lies' about a fictional man in a red suit. So my grandpa did not know Santa Claus, he got an orange (his own) and a box of chocolates that he had to share with each of his 4 siblings. These gifts were from his parents and they were much appreciated I am told. My favorite part of this is how my grandfather would talk about going to school, and the American children talking about Santa Claus. My grandpa thought they were silly and stupid and made fun of them! For some reason, this story made so much sense to me, and at that time I knew that if I were ever to have children, I would not invite Santa into my home.

Now, I realize this may change if I ever have my own children, I just don't see it happening though. Yes, I'll decorate a Christmas tree and buy presents and all that fun stuff. But why bring some strange man into it? Funny how three generations later, my (make believe) children will blow the whistle on Santa Claus, just as my grandfather did as a child of the 30's.

Disclaimer: I think it's perfectly acceptable for parents to share Santa Claus with their children and I am in no way discrediting this ritual. I'm just expressing my personal thoughts on the subject and realize that I am far from the norm.